Views From A Shithole, or Periplus Through Stupidity

Monday, 11 May, Year 7 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

periplus-1

It is my considered opinion that we never should have landed a man on the Moon. It was a mistake. Now everything is compared to that one accomplishment. "I can't believe they could land a man on the Moon and taste my coffee!" I think we all would have been a lot happier if they hadn't landed a man on the Moon. Then we'd go, "They can't make a prescription bottle top that's easy to open? I'm not surprised they couldn't land a man on the Moon. Things make perfect sense to me now". Neil Armstrong should have said, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for every, complaining, son of a bitch on the face of the Earth."

periplus-2

Why ? Why make a knife like this ? Why this Ubuntui of a thing ?

How much could it possibly cost to add a fifty of the width of the blade, running the length of the handle ? The problem isn't that "it's made out of plastic". The problem is that it's made by heads of plastic. Seriously, two milimeter grip, a twelfth of an inch is all the poor thing gets ? Why ?

Idiots.

I don't care to hear the rationalization, even. There is no reason possible under the Sun this thing should exist. It's the manufacturing equivalent of a bald eagle with gills.

periplus-3

McDonalds doesn't really need the government - it can actually print its own dollars, which are just as good as the originals, and in any case used for exactly the same purpose.

You think MPEx is a threat to the perpetuation of the USG ? Stop and consider for a moment what alternatives are there.

periplus-4

These read "Basta de bicicletearnos, recategorizaciones Ya!", which is difficult to translate.

You see, to the very pretentious Argentine, there is no greater insult than being forced to use a bicycle. Because every rotinculo with bad hair and an Italian fashion magazine from the '80s fancies himself jet set over here, and far, far above riding anything but Bugatti or Paris Hilton's dog. Notwithstanding that his derpy 5-6k a year could barely make payments on a Segway. Con todo el respeto q me merece vuestra persona la Republica Argentina no es un pais pobre!!

Moreover, as they're all (universally, and without exception) dumb as a whore's headboard (from all the hits to the head, see ?) it is entirely out of the question that they might make money doing something useful or productive. They know this, which is why they universally aspire to enter the civil service - not to serve, but to get paid. A government job is pretty much the only thing your adult Argentine expects of life, and the path to it is quite simple : start hanging around a government office. Then slowly insert yourself, George Costantza-like. Maybe you're the guy that paints those cute flowers in the toilets, or the guy that walks up and down the hallways frowning very creatively. Whatever it may be - and best make sure it's not actually anything, lest god forbid you do it wrong and then could lose your "job". Much safer to stick to pure nonsense - after a few years you're good to protest. Demand your "classification" be changed - get a salary, get a pension, get a funny hat. Get something. The government needs votes, right ? Well... most of the voters need their absurd daily activities justified through government fiat. Deal ?

And so it goes - the trotinettists are ready to become official governmental trotinetteers, and the government's ready to sell Europe more bonds. You gotta buy into the future of South America, right ? A cosmopolitan, cultured, refined city like Buenos Aires, it's a steal!

It is, yes. I'd rather give money to whores other people fuck, honestly. Definitely better ROI.

periplus-5

This is what populist discourse looks like, in the land of the idiots, abrutis by fifty years' worth of socialism : a bad pic of the country's First Whore (namestamped just in case) above two random twerps. They could have put Boxxy up there, the same exact way and for the same money. Or Ronald Reagan. Or Cleopatra.

They're looking for "indignant Peronists", which is like looking for angry codgers at the retirement home. For one thing, being "a Peronist" means anything to anyone, and is generally a vaguely defined prop for otherwise absent personal identity, somewhat in the manner of US Republicans being "religious". It suffers from that ancient problem of socialism, as there's no particular profile involved. Getting together a bunch of heavy metal fans offers you some reasonable expectations, such as "dressing in leather is probably fine". Getting together a bunch of Democrats, or a bunch of Peronists offers very little past "they'll blow their top if you say 'Evita was a whore' / 'niggers are genetically inferior' respectively". Which isn't much to go on.

For the other, being "indignant" is the cheapest, and the most common characteristic to be had in this country, where everyone sees themselves way above their actual station. Of course they're indignant, once their overinflated ego, unmoderated by any understanding of anything whatsoever, devoid of any perception of herd agreement as it finds itself meets the harsh reality of life in a country that's been going to look for Rhodesia down the drain in slow motion.

So, yeah, I'm sure they'll get "indignant Peronists" at that march/church thing/exercise in empty bathos, whatever it is. Whatever they are. And I'm sure they'll do great things together, in their own minds. Each in his own mind.

After which they'll get indignant. Older, of course. And indignant. And Peronists. And meanwhile Argentina will be struggling to overtake Chad, and on it goes.

———
  1. Yes, I will henceforth use Ubuntu as a superlative for shitty. Because it is.

    Yes, I'm aware it's a Zulu word. []

Category: La pas prin lume
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10 Responses

  1. "Of course they're indignant, once their overinflated ego, unmoderated by any understanding of anything whatsoever, devoid of any perception of herd agreement as it finds itself meets the harsh reality of life in a country that's been going to look for Rhodesia down the drain in slow motion."

    Was in downtown BA today. Found Rhodesia. Conclusion: it bites.

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    2
    Mircea Popescu 
    Wednesday, 13 May 2015

    Bwahahaha.

    You know, that looks penile.

  3. Found your blog today, I have to say it is absolutely fantastic. The way you cut through the bullshit that we cloud our everyday discourse with to provide the straight truth, to say the unsayable, is truly inspirational.

    We dress ourselves with empty words and hollow concepts in order to feel special and educated, but in reality this house of cards is meaningless because we never stop to really think why we do it. We cater to the unseen observer because of some sort of primal need to prove ourselves. Maybe we should stop trying to prove ourselves and focus on doing?

  4. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    4
    Mircea Popescu 
    Friday, 15 May 2015

    Cheers.

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