The only thing worse than the atrocities the average educated moron chooses to read are the tepid miseries therein contained.
gutenberg.org, most certainly as fine an example as any could ever be imagined for the utter theoretical pointlessness not to mention practical failure of any sort, kind or manner of democratic anything has some delightfully amusing claims to make.
Firstly, that while today, Thursday November the 19th a total of 4`211 books were downloaded off their hands (no doubt to the standard of a GET request being made, there's scarcely any way to ensure completion from the pov of the delivering server logs), yet 132`563 were downloaded in the past 7 days! This'd imply the past week's made up of 31 (thirty-one!!!) days just like today, and then some!
"Oh wait", I hear the scientificists among ye sad lot whine, "Oh wait MP, that's probably because day boundaries have a larger impact upon one item than upon the other! It's your fault, MP, it is your problem and should be your lot to rectify (at your own expense!!!) the entrenched ineptitude of such morons as'd present "past 7 days" as a statistical reporting unit consisting of a rolling 168 hours interval in the same tabulated form as a "2020-11-18" consisting of a random number of hours, something between a little over 0 to a little under 24."
I mean why not, right ? Fine, so it's not that a 7 day week's composed of 31 and change days like today, it's that "today" doesn't mean anything like what it says. And in the same vein, in "the last 30 days" (now that's a direct quote!) there've been "downloaded" no less than -- hold on to your butts! -- 4`916`275i of them books! So there's no less than... 37 (thirty-seven!!!) past 7-days in the past 30-days!
With wonders like these, what needs are there even for elections, everyone already voted for m00t if I recall correctly. But anyways, let us move on, here's the list in order of alleged m00-m00 preference :
Frankenstein; Or, The Modern Prometheus by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley (86)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (44)
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne (36)
A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift (28)
Et dukkehjem. English by Henrik Ibsen (26)
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain (22)
Anthem by Ayn Rand (22)
A Christmas Carol in Prose; Being a Ghost Story of Christmas by Charles Dickens (22)
Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka (21)
Moby Dick; Or, The Whale by Herman Melville (21)
A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens (21)
The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (20)
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll (18)
The Awakening, and Selected Short Stories by Kate Chopin (16)
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe (16)
Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie (15)
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (15)
The Great Green Blight by Robert Emmett McDowell (15)
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (15)
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (13)
Jane Eyre: An Autobiography by Charlotte Brontë (13)
Il Principe. English by Niccolò Machiavelli (13)
Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave by Frederick Douglass (13)
The Slang Dictionary: Etymological, Historical and Andecdotal by John Camden Hotten (13)
Beowulf: An Anglo-Saxon Epic Poem (12)
The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling (12)
Walden, and On The Duty Of Civil Disobedience by Henry David Thoreau (12)
A Dictionary of Cebuano Visayan by John U. Wolff (12)
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson (12)
The Importance of Being Earnest: A Trivial Comedy for Serious People by Oscar Wilde (12)
The Souls of Black Folk by W. E. B. Du Bois (11)
Tepondicon by Carl Jacobi (11)
Grimms' Fairy Tales by Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm (11)
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran (11)
Courtin' Christina by J. J. Bell (11)
A History of the Philippines by David P. Barrows (11)
The Happy Prince, and Other Tales by Oscar Wilde (10)
That's where my patience left me, in part because the number in parantheses is a download count, and if I have to divide 10 by a factor of 37 and another factor of 31 to get
Trump's votes actual COVID cases something or the other to do with "the public", whatever it is... there'd be not very much left, you understand me ? 10 / 37 / 31 = 0.00 (or 0.01 with rounding), a figure coincidentally identical to the cumulative readership of libertard hack writing this year.
So yeah, in part because of that ; but in even larger part because do you know what unspeakable idiocy that Happy Prince bullshit is ? You haven't read it, have you. I have, and it's enough to send that sad faggot who shuns his proper name to permanent jail forever just for being such an indescribably trite philistine. Hurr durr Oscar Wilde, here, have a sampling :
"Far away," continued the statue in a low musical voice, "far away in a little street there is a poor house. One of the windows is open, and through it I can see a woman seated at a table. Her face is thin and worn, and she has coarse, red hands, all pricked by the needle, for she is a seamstress. She is embroidering passion-flowers on a satin gown for the loveliest of the Queen’s maids-of-honour to wear at the next Court-ball. In a bed in the corner of the room her little boy is lying ill. He has a fever, and is asking for oranges. His mother has nothing to give him but river water, so he is crying. Swallow, Swallow, little Swallow, will you not bring her the ruby out of my sword-hilt? My feet are fastened to this pedestal and I cannot move."
Rubies for fucking seamstresses, how do you like that! The precious cuntlets / "collegiate" baristas of 1800 are just as too special to whore out like healthy (especially in the head) contemporaries. They gotta be speshul and get rubies from the sky for it, too! Just like you!
The whole fucking list is gunk just like this, not worth the first read, and I now wish to know how the fuck is it that every time mediocrity gets left in charge of perpetuating anything, all it ever seems to manage is perpetuating its own image ? God-earfucked Dickens, Austen and all the rest of the spurious nothings of the "Progressive" age, the miseries of fester, the rats eating the aesthetic eyes out of Art's long dead skull, somehow mistaken for "the [...] life [...] in that [...] general area". The parasites, the know-nothings, the most regrettable blemishes carefully collected and curated for future maggot generations.
It makes me want to puke. And don't even fucking dare come at me with anything like "But MP, there's like, Kafka in there, the cultural-flavored Kafka scratch-n-sniff sticker that cereal boxes use to certify culturality (also kosher), not to mention expunged Twain, context-free Carroll... what more can you ask, it's totally cultural!" because it'll make me want to puke on you.
At least your forefathers were fucking honest, straight-forward if simple-minded simpletons. You've meanwhile squandered even that! For shame.
- The value is accurate as to their claims, but they do block archive.is/xixWS just in case you want to make sure. [↩]