The pastime of passing nonsense as Oscar Wilde quotes is not a contemporary invention, and perhaps not even modern.
If with the literate I am impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit ; we all assume that Oscar said it.
~Dorothy Parkeri, 1927.
And now for something completely different :
You may know how little God thinks of "moral" people by observing how little money he ordinarily bestows upon them.
~Dorothy Parker, 2012.
Everything I've ever said will be credited to Dorothy Parker
~Dorothy Parker while disguised as a jew with round glasses and jewfro hair, 1974
Victory goes to her who makes the next-to-last mistake.
~Dorothy Parker while playing chess, date unknown (as she's not known to have played chess).
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
~Drth Prkr, 19
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Such is the advantage of wearing skirts.
~Dorothy Parker on Half Naked Thursday of 2010.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
~Dorothy Parker on cooking, date unknown.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have the ability to express its results succintly.
~Dorothy Parker on poetry, XIVth century.
- Best known for her observation re some Yale (the famous party school) prom that "If all the girls attending it were laid end to end I wouldn't be at all surprised". [↩]