A practical exercise for people who can't afford airfare.

Tuesday, 27 May, Year 6 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Conversation in the streets of Buenos Aires yesterday, upon noticing that the locals don't crowd up in bus stations, but neatly queue (even going around the block!) on the wall side, careful to not block the sidewalk.

- Imagine if these people were Romanians.
- O good God! They'd be all a swarming mass, pushing all the way into the bus so nobody could even get off.
- Incredible what passes for "normal" in different places isn't it. This is the advantage of travel, you get to find out just how fucking stupid, uncivilised and unbearable you actually are.

Now consider the following situation : a 4th wave feministi, a post-Lacanian pseudo-psychologist and a faux classical studiesii graduate hired by the airport as floor washers figure they could perhaps get promoted if they showed they can do much better than just rubbing the floors clean of phlegm and mud with their bare tits, on their hands and knees. So they decide to make a survey, find out how full the planes are. Clearly this will be very useful.

Towards this end, they proceed to ask all people getting off the plane how full they felt their plane was ("on a scale from 1 to 10"iii ), and carefully take down the answers. Predictably, their conclusion will be that the planes are in general full and very full, and duly report this to the airport manager, with a humble recommendation to allocate more funds for an airport extension, which they'd be more than happy to manage, for "everyone's" comfort and benefit, as well as greater [social] justice. For it is in fact quite unjust, socially and otherwise, to have pretty dumb things such as a 4th wave feminist, a faux classics graduate or a post-Lacanian pseudo-psychologist rubbing their bare bosomsiv in the dirt all day. Wouldn't you say ?

If you're lucky enough for your airport manager to be me or a passable substitute, the three graces get each a dozen lashes for being uppity niggers, get docked pay for the management time they wasted and get sent back to cleaning the floors. You probably aren't lucky enough for that and your airport is slowly going to shit under the pressure of all this nonsense sprouted by unemployable breast-fixated fuckwits, but hey. Who are you and why should I care.

Moving on : can you figure out what the problem is in that approach ?

To understand just how slutty a subject statistics is, consider this : two 100 seater planes landed. One had one passenger, the other had 99 passengers. By any sane accounts the planes are just about half full. By tits-in-dirt accounts, however, the planes are intolerably full : ninety-seven out of one hundred people asked said that their plane was so packed you could hardly breathe (two said they had a spare seat next and one said the whole thing was empty).

So now you know. And so now you can consider this gem :

times

Suppose you have this arrangement where I (a college graduate) made a billion dollars in Bitcoin last year. Alongside me, there live in the most abject poverty, sustained by ramen and mountain dew, employed at the task of redditing and assorted social media derping, another 99 women (of either physical sex) that'd be much better employed at sweeping the sidewalks with their bare tits. These made a negative one million last year, because tuition isn't free even if the subjects are pointless and the "teachers" unqualified. And on the other side of the street, one hundred normal people, making normal money, for a grand total two million between them last year.

So now : the "gap" as misrepresented by the USG propaganda for the clueless is a staggering 500:1. For the $999`000`000 "us" college graduates took home, the non-graduates took only $2`000`000 (and paid taxes on it, for I sure as hell am not paying as much as a dime out of my billion to any state that fails to enforce bare tit floor scrubbing). The reality of it however is quite reversed : anyone who isn't me has the choice of either not getting a degree, in which case they take home whatever the taxman leaves them out of their 20k, or else to get a degree, in which case they bring from home 10k. That's the choice.

So what'd you rather do, spend 10k a year of your parents' retirement funds to become one of these fascinating topless if slovenly women (of either physical sex) you see out there scrubbing away at the Information Superhighway ? Or you know, bring home an actual paycheck, as dismal as it may be once the government of the people for the people topless-if-slovenly-floor-scrubbers is done raping it ?

Hard choice to make, isn't it. Perhaps. The one important point, however, is to clearly grasp that any attempt at representing a college education as a ticket at perhaps becoming me is out and out conmanship. Being me is not a lottery, and you can't buy tickets from anyone for it. Those claiming otherwise are just trying to scam you.

Succes!

———
  1. People born after 1968 aren't [3rd wave] feminists any more than people born after 1969 are hippies. They're merely hipsters that saw records of the genuine article in whatever discount bin and figured it's just obscure enough to tolerate their marginal presence and support the requisite airs of mystery, beingunacceptedness and notbeingunderstoodness. Obviously they're being herded around for political and ultimately economical reasons by a thin sliver of contemptible worms, but we're not getting into that part now. Let's consider just the idiots being used for puppets and momentarily ignore the puppeteers. []
  2. There do not currently exist in the United States any people qualified to teach classics past highschool level. This is a fact. If you're currently paying money for the pretense of such teaching you are being scammed. []
  3. The discussion of exactly how stupid this "scale from 1 to 10" thing is doesn't fit here. It's roughly about as stupid as employing our friendly bunch at any other task than polishing the floors with their tits. []
  4. Am I being sufficiently unoffensive if I say bosoms ?

    If you had any sense you'd be offended by such a reference, seeing how the only thing "bosom" connotes is "tits too small to be worth the name". Jugs is what you really want to hear. If you had any sense, that is. []

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6 Responses

  1. This is brilliant and innovative satire. I was overwhelmed.

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    2
    Mircea Popescu 
    Wednesday, 28 May 2014

    Why ty.

  1. [...] discussed. The SUTO sufferer will fail to perform the most basic checks, such as in the case of the uppity airport floorwashers, and they can regularily be shocked through simple application of arithmetic to dispel "truths" [...]

  2. [...] "grifter" who "works for the mob" in the obvious capacity of a runnerii - a construction quite like floor washers with delusions of "upper class". She had a child when she was 14, which nobody knows about, [...]

  3. [...] you're there, they'll tell you all about it. [↩]√(7−6.687444444) = 0.559066683. Problem ? Bwahahahaha. [↩]You think this argument is made in jest ? It isn't made in jest. It is made in education [...]

  4. [...] year in service alone. What exactly does he get in exchange ? He's not adding 5k of earning power, not even by a longshot. On the contrary - he's building unreasonable expectations for himself, the sort that'll keep him [...]

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