A complete theory of politics

Motto :
-- Γιατί μόνο εσείς, οι Λάκαινες,
έχετε εξουσία πάνω στους άνδρες
-- Επειδή γαμώ την ράτσα σου

This is the third installment in our fabled series on the complete - if not necessarily detailed - theories of everythingⁱ. You're welcome.

Naturalⁱⁱ human populations are universally composed of three elements : alphaⁱⁱⁱ males ; females ; beta males. This much for nature.

The alpha male wants to be left the fuck alone. The female wants to have fun. The beta male wants for nothing "bad"^iv to happen.^v

As far as nurture is concerned, the principal effect is that through the passage of time, some individuals migrate towards wanting to be left the fuck alone ; whereas other individuals migrate towards wanting for nothing "bad" to happen. Most of this migration is composed of females, but male movement is neither inconceivable nor unheard of. We call the migration of females towards alpha education, and it is accomplished through the institution of slavery, under the hand of a competent Master.^vi We call the migration of females towards beta aging, and it is strictly and without exception the reason the otherwise natural phenomenon of aging with which it is often confused has a bad name in modern societies.^vii In any case - everyone is born a giggly little girl, it's in the nature of things.

Whenever any action is to be decided, the betas will wish to establish whether "anything bad could happen" (with the predictable answer that yes) ; the females will wish to establish if it's fun ; and the alphas will wish to establish whether they are the ones that'll have to do it. This is then the whole of politics : the worse the social organisation (which is to say, the more voice betas have in human affairs), the more effort alphas will have to expend to stimulate the fun bone of the females. This then produces emergent behaviours in the females, who feign alliance with the beta party to extract as much fun as they conceive they could out of the alpha party. The betas are aware of the procedure, but unable to express it in proper terms, so instead they refugitively loathe both females and alphas. The alphas could give less of a fuck - and they will, too, just as soon as they figure out how.

This arrangement has no stable solution, thankfully, which ipso facto means there is nothing wrong with it^viii. The unwinding of unstable solutions and the interplay of memory and language both create and destroy complex cloud patterns, which are neither important nor meaningful - and they sure as fuck don't speak to you, or about you, so just relax already.

It's a show, you know ? Simmer down and take a seat.

1. See A complete theory of economics ; A complete theory of sociology ; On essences and the whole rest of Trilema.. [↩]
2. All populations that occur through deliberate and reflexive selection by an outsider are artificial.

   "Deliberate" means some effort is made either to include or exclude specific individuals ; "reflexive" means that the criteria used recurse over the composition ("rats longer than two inches" is not reflexive ; "rats longer than the group-average rat" is) ; "occur through" means that the principal factor* defining the population is the deliberate and reflexive selection ; "outsider" means one who can insulate himself absolutely from any deliberate and reflexive selection by the group (like politicians in "modern democracies", for instance).

   What remains is natural, irrespective any other considerations.
   ---
   * Because the space is not flat but organised by attractors it displays denied middle (much like the lesser and easier to study example of currency), so principal means something very narrow - all cases when this factor even vaguely approaches majority or even merely looks like it could approach it in the future immediately collapse into the same thing. Which thing we variously call "the enemy", "USG", "the empire", "modern democracy", "modern state", "bureaucracy" etcetera. [↩]

3. The term is used in zoology to denote a role within a certain group. Not all species tend to express an alpha male ; some that do (and some that don't) might express the role of alpha female. In either case this role is filled temporarily by different individuals, and external constraints can readily alter the role allocation within the group - deliberately underfed alphas will lose their position to unrestricted competitors for instance.

   That view of the zoologist is informed principally by his disinterest - much like the goats he's herding perceive him as just another goat, of the same age and gender as themselves ; he perceives all animals as fundamentally equal and the same, without relevant characteristics outside of circumstance and without even the possibility of absolute hierarchy. In other words, the zoologist suffers from severe Asperger's wrt the animals he's studying ; which is both natural and from an I-would-like-to-keep-my-lunch perspective entirely for the best.

   There are, of course, those who suffer of the exact zoologist's mental impairment even within humanity itself - perhaps the most shining example in recent, well documented history being that consummately representative contemporary - Elliot Rodger. They are not our concern here, not simply because they don't happen to be relevant to human society, but because fundamentally and by their very nature they can't be relevant to human society. Necessarily and universally the libertard - whether in the fulminant, absolute version named ; or in the more copacetic, cowardly daily presentations - can not have anything to say to others.

   Consequently, we will use the term in its proper meaning - of an absolute characteristic of individuals. Some are born to sweet delight ; some are born to endless night. This is a fact, incontrovertible as it is universal, and the easy disdain of either xenomorph or (as it is much more often the case) of runts that prefer to affect airs of xenomorphism because it is psychologically cheaper than assuming their runtish inadequacy while nevertheless delivering them pretty much the exact same results does exactly nothing and speaks to exactly no one. [↩]

4. This generally resolves to "nothing at all", maybe through a winding road with a lot of "anything but this" markers on either side of it ; but in any case the fragile concoction that is the marginally-inadequate-or-maybe-adequate-hopefully can't possibly take well to phenomena, as they embody change and in his world change is a narrow rope between shame and death. [↩]
5. They want other things, of course. The pregnant female for instance migrates very close to the beta and so similary wants peace and quiet, even of the "nothing bad to happen" flavour. The alpha male, especially if rattled by not being properly left the fuck alone will want to torture betas (which to him may readily mean most women as well) and has the ready means to do so, too, seeing how he's the only one that can make things happen.

   Even leaving the categories aside, individuals are individuals and will want specific things, which differ from the generalities here presented in their specificity, and moreover necessarily will defy classification - because in theory there's no difference between theory and practice ; but in practice there is. [↩]

6. There also exist various barbaric cults and sects, practicing their own flavours of selections from a set of abusive practices which predictably produce neurosis in the victims, that the nuts nevertheless pretend to call "education" for no discernible reason anyone can explain. [↩]
7. This is also how boobjobs work - in removing the fear of the principal "something bad" that could possibly happen to the adult woman they resolve the underlying cause of the decay. [↩]
8. Yes, the stable solution and the defect are equivalent notions. [↩]