MP's wonderful primary school furniture item idea

Tuesday, 21 February, Year 9 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Welcome to the original birthplace slash museum of MP's wonderful primary school furniture item idea! Let's take the tour!

The idea, which is MP's, who took the strangely deranged habit of referring to himself in the third person sometime in 2017ish, which is also the year this original online version of the museum (slash birthplace) first appeared, was originally thought up or comed up or however you kids say it these days while MP was having an expansive four egg and nine strips of bacon plus a spoonfull of pimenton and four teeth of garlic breakfast he had made himself in his nine kilogram cast iron skillet. It's called a skillet because you have to be skilled to lift the damned thing. Do you even lift ?

The next thing down is going to be the actual idea!

All primary schools as well as special magnet attractor kindergartens for quick burning kids should contain, centrally in the foyer or whichever room plays the symbolic role of the grand hall in the shrunk down economy of the kid prison, the MP device.

The MP device is a parallelepiped one meter wide, one meter deep and two meters tall, its walls made of three centimeter thick pure and true borosilicate glass, held together by exterior stainless steel fixtures. Whenever a kid is bad, that kid is put inside the parallelepiped and approximately 2.36 tons of poly(methyl methacrylate) at 190°C are poured on top. The installation is allowed to cool naturally, and will remain in place for the breathless, awed admiration of all the chitlins for as long as it takes for another of them to be bad, at which point the previous occupant of the MP furniture item is flushed away (perhaps sold to collectors ?) allowing the new occupant to impart upon the transparent medium his own colorings, shadings, teeth marks and asorted other purely personal and utterly biological contributions.i Aren't you curious to see a nine year old's urethra turned inside out and slightly fried under glass ? Like in those sliced horse slides ?

It'd certainly be cheaper than adding a discipline officer.

Thanks for visiting! I also have other ideas. Let me tell you them!

  1. As you might imagine, the interaction between what's practically a water sponge and a heated amorphous mass will be some kind of bizarre sculpture, somewhat in the vein of what snowglobes look like in hell. []
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2 Responses

  1. I have a (common) paperweight containing a scorpion preserved with this method.

    But you will notice that it was not used for, e.g., Lenin. You gotta do something with the gut bacteria, or the thing will eventually burst and make a mess. Maybe some hard gamma?

    And meat, unlike exoskeletons, turns.

    Possibly it'd be enough to swap'em out ~weekly.

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Tuesday, 21 February 2017

    There's absolutely no way the gut bacteria burst through two tons of plexi. Do the maths, they'll die from overpressure before they get even in degre-of-magnitude range.

    The reason it wasn't used for Lenin is that pouring it hot rends tissue into a smoldering scary mess. Scorpion has protective, heat resistant exoskeleton.

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