Clockwise

Clockwiseⁱ is unfunny for approximately the same reason Britain counts principally as an underage sex tourism destinationⁱⁱ, or "the fight against corruption" is an irrelevant foreign diplomacy gimmickⁱⁱⁱ of a meanwhile deceased empire. In its own terms, if we were to accept its blinders and sacred cows, I suppose the attempt would be hysterical. But we don't, nor conceivably could accept such nonsense. We don't see there's anything wrong with fucking the 17yo, heck, she has almost exactly the face of this 17 yo I personally fucked. It's certainly not "unthinkable", as the script would require it to be. Good god, how could it be ? She can walk, can't she ?

And on and on in this manner, nothing works because nobody capable of thought to the degree requisite for using speech would permit themselves to be wedged into such nonsense. If I'm the new head of whatever important organisation I do not depend on the fucking train to get there, or the dubious offices of some woman to drive me (at equal lots with some inconsequential old bitties). She is standing at attention for the entire interval of my trip, waiting to take over transportation at a moment's notice should the dozen or so people already employed at the task fail. That is how I live^iv ; that is how everyone lives. I don't care, nor can I conceive who could care, what the idiots call the misery they engage in, be it "efficiency" or whatever else ; I similarly do not care how the idiots call the correct solution, "lavish" or "corrupt" or whatever the fuck their peabrains may come up with. Either the task is important in which case it will "waste" resources, or else it is incapable to justify the wastage of resources in which case it is not important in which case let some monkey do it. The ur example of this is Bitcoin, with its very strict energy profile^v, but every bit of human activity worth the name works on exactly the same principles.^vi

This point can not be emphasized enough : the "humanist" fashion experiment started sometime in the 1800s, to redirect the legitimate usage of resources from "wasteful" applications, such as maintaining sane social relations^vii and the infrastructure they require, to "human services" such as teaching a horde of useless monkeys how to read and write or instilling in the lumpentariat the batshit insane notion that they may have things -- any things, including a woman, a roof, a fucking dildo, anything! -- went on for longer than it warranted because of the historical happenstance of occurring at the same time as industrialization.^viii It's done, there will be no more. Certain proof of this fact can be readily found in just how unfunny Clockwise is just as well as in any of the other trillion billion tiny stamps.

I suppose, put in these terms, laughing at this thing becomes a survival necessity. Therefore... laugh, bitch! Are you laughing yet ?

You'd better fucking laugh.

1. Clockwise, 1986, by Christopher Morahan, with John Cleese and absolutely no tits, to the very burning shame of all those involved.

   I mean this very literally, it is an unabashedly shameful act for a grown man to engage in producing a "film" which contains no female nudity. It is a greater offense to the public good than masturbation, and I think less of John Cleese for having engaged in this particular unseemly behaviour than I'd have thought about him had videos of him jacking off surfaced. It is a greater offense to the public good than getting drunk at a party, it is just very miserable, pathetic pubescentry at work.

   In mitigation, Sharon Stone from Deptford Grafitty, a few years later:

   

   And no, the fact that English girls are butt-ugly does not excuse them from their absolute obligations. It's not a matter than "I want to see", or any such relativism. It's a matter that they absolutely must show. [↩]

2. Ever heard of Rotherham ? How about the guy who fell dick first on a 16yo that was "visiting" in the proper position ? [↩]
3. The whole of it is that sometime during the 1991 - 1995 five year plan the fundamentally corrupt politico class of the last socialism left standing figured it had somehow inherited the whole world.

   While the psychogenic mechanisms of an imaginary "Donation of Gorbachev" (hallucinated in place by the exact sort of people and for the exact reasons the original "Donation of Constantine" forgery emerged) may perhaps be of some interest to the specialists, we'll pass over in silence here. As far as any practical effect is concerned, the whole of it is that said sad troupe of degenerates figured any payments going outside of their own network (generally referred to as "our democracy" inside the clique) to be illegitimate. That's it and that's all, as it turns out the socialist view of money is fundamentally anti-monetary, unsurprisingly. They want money somehow to work exactly opposite its purpose and function, and that's ok because... I dunno, "Science" something.

   This nonsensical view is of course deeply castrating. To pretend that the only way money can be used is to be moved from one pocket to another while using it in actual payment is "evil" necessarily isolates one from the workings of both market and civilised society and relegates him instead to the darkest recesses of gutter and insane asylum. So far they don't seem to mind, a vibrant testament to reality's fundamental weighting machine properties. [↩]

4. No kidding. You have no idea what the punishment is for failing to answer the phone should I decide to call. Which in some cases I do to the tune of twice or thrice a year -- but that makes no difference. [↩]
5. This was stated before but it bears repeating : half of all energy produced by humans must be used to mine Bitcoin. That is the actual cost, and the actual value, of this innovation. Half of all energy, forever. [↩]
6. This obviously does not leave any room for monkeys to pretend to humanhood, which comes at 0 cost. [↩]
7. Have you seen The Ruling Class, an abomination of a film with Peter O'Toole ? It's not worth watching, except for the first five minutes, illustrating the life of a man living in a country, both worth the name. How was it possible for that castle to exist as it did ? "Waste", yes ? Fuck you. There's no better use of resources than this "waste".

   Now look again at the six foot three "gentleman" squeezing himself into that shoebox of a "car". That is waste. [↩]

8. Any insanity, of any kind or flavour that happened to have become fashionable at the same time as industrialization would have done equally "well". This is a function of the disruptive nature of industrialization itself, and it's much like observing that "any object caught in a tornado flies". The fact that your roof happened to fly during the tornado however makes for very poor support of the theory that "to make a plane you must use roof because roof has the flight nature".

   "Roof" is not a thing ; and it sure as fuck doesn't have "the flight nature". Exactly so, the notion that the common man matters, should be considered, allowed property, the franchise etcetera is sheer nonsense, not to mention entirely untenable and well on the road to reversion. It's not that there's no future for "democracy", be it in "our" flavouring or otherwise. It's that "humanism" is scarcely more than an intellectual fashion, on exactly the level of deciding men must wear powdered wigs or women must go around dressed in three foot tall teepees, and of no further consequence. [↩]