Appassionata

Appassionataⁱ fragmentarilyⁱⁱ reunites a smoking hot 18yo Ornella Muti with a strangely face-shaped 20 yo Eleonora Giorgi and Gianluigi Calderone's shockingly inept writing. The general idea is to commercially exploit teenage female sexuality ; it comes at a time youth worship was moving from its purely Nazi nest into the mainstream of Rosoⁱⁱⁱ symbology.

Paring off the tedium of hamhandedly impossible^iv and generally nonsensical dialogue^v, here's a suck by suck :

• The blondy friend of the daughter^vi forces herself (sexually!) upon an unexpecting and unprepared adult male. Cuz this is how sexuate accuplation works now, a sixty pound girly can totally rape a hundred kilogram dentist. And then she'll foutra le camp as they say in the language of love, leaving the poor guy standing there with his mouth agape. It was all because of anesthetic hysteria, dontcha know.^vii
• The act unbalances the father (who is conveniently paired with a very weak female). He proceeds to eavesdrop on the phone conversations of his daughter, because that's what sexually frustrated males do, totally, they sit around and fret like women. Yet notwithstanding his very female metabolisation of his own sexual pulsion, the male gives chase upon hearing scandalous things (tm) on a highschooler's phone line (imagine this!!!), breaks (somehow, effortlessly) through the bathroom door, and tears off her blouse. You get to see Muti's... dubious^viii rack in the process, and then they hug incestuously and he takes her to bed, where he tells her about his wife's youth in apparently complete oblivion. She gets pissy and kicks him out.
• There's a flight-of-fancy scene where a nude Georgi irritates a dog through sexual exposure. That this isn't how either exposure, dreams or dogs work is no concern to the idiot at the helm.
• Finally, to crown this work of nonsense, two teenagers conspire to have the daughter furtively and secretly fuck the father, in a highly contrived, elaborately engineered set-up specifically (and transparently) designed to assuage the adult's own hang-ups. Because totally, that's what the teenager's internal life is entirely for and about, catering to the psychogenic needs of the adult. Didn't you know ?!

To say that nothing in this movie makes any sense whatsoever would be to insult nothing. There is certainly no passion involved to any degree in the whole hot mess, nor really much of anything else.^ix

A most regrettable waste of some young hussies' evident disponibility.

1. 1974, by Gianluigi Calderone, with Ornella Muti, Eleonora Giorgi [↩]
2. Bits and pieces of the original director's cut are lost to time ; the later bowdlerized versions survive in somewhat better shape. [↩]
3. If national-sozialismus can be Nazi for short, why shouldn't Lincoln-Roosevelt socialism be Roso for short ? This paves the way for Stalin bureaucratism being called Stabu and we're done! [↩]
4. The discussion between two supposed dentists as to a point of their trade (anesthetic effects) flows in the manner of Days of our lives, replete with "why the sudden interest" and other such excrements of auctorial overbear. [↩]
5. The only people who talk like these people I ever encountered inhabited bad fanfic rather than planet Earth. [↩]
6. You've seen American Beauty, yes ? Thora Bitch, same idea. [↩]
7. There is some substance to this, in that some anesthetics (notably, not novocaine) will play approximately the role of alcohol, which is to say somewhat downregulate inhibition and repressive cortical nonsense. In badly mangled societies this may result in initiation of sexual congress that wouldn't have otherwise occurred, but it's a long shot and moreover, the whole thing is abused in (bad) fiction exactly in the manner of the "laser pistol", a similarily maybe-conceivable futuristic weapon became a sort of science-fiction standard. There is no reason for this other than her cunt permanently itching (which permanently doesn't show). [↩]
8. She's got ok tits, I guess. For the age, anyway. Most teenagers have weird looking, strangely grown boobs and this one's no exception. [↩]
9. No, not even tittilation. Much higher quality pornography can be had cheaper and in copious amounts otherwise. [↩]