"3 idiots", in preference of saying "Indians are cognitively impaired for reason of genetic inferiority"

Slavegirl in charge of illegally downloading cars (you wouldn't download a movie, would you ?!) idly proposed trying out Bollywood shit sometime ? I approved the notion, and for my sins find myself today at the other end of a latrine walk.

The first element of this latrine walk, Kuch Kuch Hota Haiⁱ is roughly speaking a manele videoclip that ran long (and got turned down by the Eurovision competition). If you don't know what manele is, just watch this thing, it'll come to you.

In any case, the problem isn't that the production of these original gypos is alien, and therefore frightening. It's not frightening in the slightest. It's so fucking dumb it readily allays any fears anyone might have nursed anywhere as to the Indians being possible competition. Indians aren't possible competition, to anything.

The second element of this latrine walk, Lagaanⁱⁱ, is very much a case of

Sergiu Nicolaescu prezinta filmul Sergiu Nicolaescu, dupa viata marelui Sergiu Nicolaescu. In rolurile principale, Sergiu Nicolaescu si Sergiu Nicolaescu, regia Sergiu Nicolaescu dupa o poveste atit autentica cit si originala de Sergiu Nicolaescu.

A thinly veiled retcon of the uncomfortable past in the ever so familiar (from the practice of inferior peoples) sense of "Bad Colonial Power Exploiting The Good Locals". Conveniently omitted, the circumstance that if it weren't for the "white man's burden" British delusion, today's India would have been exactly equal Sudan.

The final element of this latrine walk, 3 Idiotsⁱⁱⁱ, India's most popular film to date, is the saddest compensatory fiction of the anal child "being a hero", specifically in the two-pronged sense of "being actually right in a much righter way than everyone else" and of "saving all the days". When cognitively normal humans approach such a thing, the result is Tom Green's Freddy Got Fingered. When cognitively impaired (and severely, at that) alleged-humans approach such a thing, the result is this piece of crap.

India has too many cases of suicide, don't you know, and this is -- we're invited to believe -- eminently not a problem of the insufficient biosacs themselves, but of the system. Please vote Obama Hope & Change You Can Believe In and install the latest Pantsuitzilla version 749.30 to fix this problem!!1

Indian academia doesn't study "the new technology", we're explained, but simply fritters its time learning by rote ancient textbooks from the mechanicist time of the British empire. Sooo inadequate, #metoo! La ce imi serveste mie radicalurile ?!?!

And you see, the very heroic hero here to save us all (who conveniently doesn't seem to notice that everyone there is, inexplicably^iv, fucking white) "never gives up on his weakest students". Unlike the properly behaved "old guard", who pushes idiots to suicide (as he damn well should!) the saviour saves everyone.

I could continue in this vein, but the effort's wasted. Like all socialist fiction, 3 Idiots manages to strongly make the opposite point of its sponsors' agenda : even in the most absurdly stacked fiction, the anal child still fails to deliver anything or convince anyone. Boo hoo.

Always remember : suicide is the correct solution for some people. As things stand currently, the entire population of the Indian subcontinent makes for exceptional candidates.^v

1. 1998, by Karan Johar, with Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol, Rani Mukerji (who was hot 20 years ago!). [↩]
2. 2001, by Aamir Khan, with Aamir Khan [↩]
3. 2009, by Rajkumar Hirani, with Aamir Kahn (Mary Sue level over 9`000) and some other dorks. [↩]
4. You could readily imagine they shot in the Czech Republic, these schmucks. [↩]
5. Especially should they turn out to be idiotic enough to actually buy the deskilling package the USG is trying to sell them, through this and other similar programmes.

   Because yes, who paid for this thing being made and why they paid is directly evident -- they even left a breadcrumb, "emigrating to the US to suck it dry is bad mkay" is included verbatim in the "hero"'s monologue. So is the proposition that they should quit engineering to focus on being relationship experts. Insistently, this last bit. [↩]