The life and times of one Phil Daian, aspiring nigger & apprentice cocksucker

With the declaration of the Etherape, the USG side discovered in a hurry and on their own skin something I'd been preaching for a while on our own side : they've no voice worth the mention.ⁱ So they hurried to try and remedy the holeⁱⁱ. A young cocklet named Billy oops, named Phil Daian I mean is representative for this effort.

Before we proceed to our discussion, let us spend a moment to take in his his resume.html, as <include'd on his recently created blog :

Philip Daian
pdaian.com
phil@linux.com | +1 (516) 941-8131 | Urbana-Champaign, IL

EDUCATION
UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS
BSc IN COMPUTER SCIENCE
SPECIALIZATION IN SECURITY
Fall 2012 - Expected Dec 2015
Urbana-Champaign, IL
3.88 GPA / 3.91 Technical

CARNEGIE MELLON
Summer Semester II 2011

COURSEWORK
UNDERGRADUATE
Cryptography
Distributed Systems
Advanced Computer Security
Computer Security I, II, & Lab
Fundamental Algorithms
Theory of Computation
Probability Theory
Prgrmng Languages & Compilers
Programming Language Design
Artificial Intelligence
Introduction to Big Data
Software Engineering I & II
System Programming
Numerical Methods I

INTERESTS
• Antifragile distributed systems
• P2P Byzantine fault tolerance
• Formal security guarantees
• Practical cryptography
• Provably fair protocols
• (meta)Data mining and analysis
• Communication networks
• Amateur lampworking

LINKS
Github:// pdaian
reddit:// allnaturalx

EXPERIENCE
RUNTIME VERIFICATION INC. | SOFTWARE ENGINEER
Part Time | October 2013 - August 2015
Full Time | August 2015 - Present
• Project lead of the RV-Monitor lightweight formal analysis framework,
developed to compile formal mathematical specifications into executable
monitoring code verifying the specifications at runtime
• Responsible for application of monitoring technology to vehicles and embedded
systems in collaboration with Toyota-ITC, DENSO, and an NSF SBIR grant
• Responsible for company’s development and supporting infrastructure

FORMAL SYSTEMS LABORATORY | RESEARCH ASSISTANT
Jan 2013 - Jan 2014
• Investigated applications of the K semantic framework and created kweb

RESEARCH
RV’15 CONFERENCE | TUTORIAL PRESENTATION
September 2015 | Vienna, Austria
Daian, P., Falcone, Y., Meredith, P., Serbnuta, T., Shiriashi, S., Iwai, A., Rosu, G.:
Rv-android: Efficient parametric android runtime verification, a brief tutorial. In
Runtime Verification. Volume 9333 of Lecture Notes in Computer Science. Springer
International Publishing (2015) 342–357

MIDWEST VERIFICATION DAY | CONFERENCE TALK
October 2015 | University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Runtime verification: Techniques, Applications and Examples

PROJECTS
FREEJOURNAL | DOCUMENT PUBLICATION PROTOCOL AND NETWORK
• Co-lead team of seven software engineers in senior project
• Helped design and create distributed, peer-to-peer application for
secure uncensorable document sharing targeted at journalists
• Built on Freenet, Bitmessage, Tor, and Bitcoin technologies
• Received the 2015 Michael S. Hughes Award for Software Engineering

THE NIST CASINO | GAME PLATFORM WITH FAIR ENTROPY
• Platform for provably fair games of chance with trusted entropy source
• Use of the NIST beacon to prevent result precomputation, manipulation
• Outcome fully verifiable and computable by client with only public data
• Auditable game plugins for lotteries, blackjack, and more
SOMAROUTE | EMOTION BASED PACKET MANIPULATION FIRMWARE
• OpenWRT-based proof of concept router firmware for invisibly
manipulating packet routing time based on packets’ emotional content
• Actively discourages users from browsing certain content classes

Aren't you impressed ? Seriously now, what more can be asked of 1990 born dicklets ? 3.8 GPA is a shade low, sure, but the whatever-that-other-one-is goes to 3.9! Almost good enough, neh ? What do you mean anyone but the US-born or the congenitally retarded gets 4.0 on those things ?!? And don't forget the summer at Carnegie Mellon or the midwest something or the other conference! This boy's goin' places, bat ears notwithstanding. He's even been to Vienna, even. The real one, in Austria! To quote Kusturica,

You marry my Ida. I see she pleases you, my Ida. You won't find a prettier girl in the whole region! I fed her from birth. We've been everywhere. In spa's to make her beautiful. To buy her Italian clothes we went to Rome and Naples. I showed her all the countries. In the end we went to Sweden.

So informed, we may now proceed to the interesting amusing part. On June 20th, I condescended to leave him a comment. It went like so :

Mircea Popescu
June 21, 2016 at 1:48 am

The only thing I can share on all this is that the science and intrigue of smart contracts is stronger now than ever. This is a great opportunity to emerge as a stronger, better guided, more directioned and principled community bla bla bla blabla blabla blabla blabla blabla blabla blabla blabla bla.

By all means, keep inflating the bubble. For one thing, USG.MIT & friends have to bleed every last coin they got before they’ll go the fuck away. For the other thing, rape’s no fun if the meat’s not at the very least squiggling and the etherape’s no different.

He published this - no doubt because he naively imagined, like all the idiots coming before him imagined, that such "horror" shall definitely "hurt me". Because that's how strategic inferiority works, after all. He even responded :

phil
June 21, 2016 at 2:06 am

Don’t know if you’re actually Popescu, but if you are I have some choice words for you:

Du-te in pizda mati, cretinule.

I’ll approve this comment because it’s not automated spam, but it disgusts me to have this kind of garbage on my blog.

I just watched a movie with the girls, it was the original La Liceale, you recall, the one with the gypsy-looking "American" and the older girlfriend that's actually a whoreⁱⁱⁱ and wants to sell her virginity and the derpy teachers and ridiculous cars and so on.

They didn't like it. I can see why. Nevertheless the story's not altogether bad : girl hates her mother who divorced her father because "she's a slut", except as that sad, sad old man explains to her, "if he were any more assertive her mom would no longer love him". So the old woman's had her fill of empire builders, what of it ? It happens. What's girly to do ? Has to explore the world, no ? Fools around with the guy her age a little but doesn't give in because she's unsure this is it, then puts out for the older guy because he's clearly the hot shit^iv, when that doesn't work out comes back to the kid, likely pregnant already... Life. What do you want ?

Similarly here, Gloria Guida Daian is exploring her cage. Maybe Romanian is a thing ? Maybe he, too, could be me ? Let's try this a little! Du-te in pizda mati, cretinule!!!!

Auzi, mami, ce te-o muit asta ?! I can seriously almost feel it, I tell you - being a powerless, clueless, ambitious knave all over again and you know, trying out the magicks on my own!!11 It's not based on actual personal experience, this faux memory, but nevertheless it is quite strong, and in any case I credit it. Hell, I've fucked enough Glorias to know what being Gloria feels like!^v

Out of sympathy for the inferior - pure, charitable and unadulterated (seriously - I wouldn't care to fuck him even if he isn't a virgin, unlikely as that prospect may seem to you) - I put out a helping hand :

Mircea Popescu
June 21, 2016 at 11:21 pm

It’s nice that for once in your life you’re trying to learn something useful. Here’s a primer on Romanian cursing, and yes it’s both a lot more substantial as well as a lot more likely to help in your life than “Stolidity” or whatever it’s called.

I point all this out to you because you misspelled “ma-tii”. There’s no such thing as “mati” in Romanian.

Now that... well that he deleted. Too much is too much, the discovering of new things & new civilisations not to mention boldly going places nobody's gone before has gone on long enough. Time for Gloria to go back to the south-Italian-looking "American" boy^vi :

phil
June 22, 2016 at 3:17 am

Please stay on topic. I reserve the right to remove all future off topic discussions as spam. Please also limit yourself to one top-level comment per article and one reply per reply (these are commenting rules for everyone on my blog and the first public announcement of such).

I encourage you to freely state whatever on-topic opinion you have. If you’d like to contact me on any other topic, you can find me on Twitter at @phildaian. Cheers.

You know, getting owned is "off topic", especially if it happens to the Mary Sue of one's own fanfic. The obvious conclusion here is that the boy's not old enough, not to mention disfortunate^vii enough to not even have a mother whose words to repeat meaninglessly while laying in a pool of cooling blood to the wonderment of any bystanders. This however doesn't particularly interest us, in its tepid banality. As Lieberman correctly points out, "it is forbidden to have a course in the subjective feelings of earthworms".

Nevertheless, consider this other point :

mircea_popescu anyway, to bridge this discussion with the kaiser wilhelm "disappeared" daily telegraph interview discussed last week : the reason you do not want to discuss anything with hitler, such as for instance in the shape of hitler's own propaganda magazine "interviewing" you is that they aren't interviewing you. what they are doing is trying for a "o noes scandal and wilhelm lost all his support" piece. if it works, they got it, if it doesn't work, "it never happened"

That one could train specific idiots to engage in that kind of nonsense while thinking themselves "journalists" or whatever else is entirely certain. But this kid hasn't been, as best can be determined, so trained. He apparently achieved this paragon of intellectual dishonesty through plain cultural osmosis. He got it from his mom, with whom he's very close, and who's not even got the balls to be a whore out in the open.

Which isn't a novel point, of course, a rotten environment corrupts the youth, it's a fact and it's been noted as such four millenia ago and regularly hence. Yet here's an example, a great example, and most importantly : an example you wouldn't have, otherwise, noticed. Absent my pointing it out plainly, it'd be entirely invisible, no matter how refined, sophisticated, cultured, hip, up to speed and anything else you like to think yourself.

Why is that ?

1. No, "social media" doesn't work for this purpose, like it doesn't work for any other. Yes, I'm aware that this goes against the theory, n>ory, the one last remaining theory aiming to explain why the shit's supposedly worth money. Boo hoo. [↩]
2. A rush seen before, verbatim, in the more amusing if less deluded scammers of the independent flavour. [↩]
3. Ancient story in that part of the world, you know ?

   Not that there's anything wrong with it, by the way. What the fuck else would you expect to do with a lanky senior highschooler's virginity than auction it off ? Think before you answer, please. [↩]

4. Also an ancient story - in all parts of the world. Even Sweden. [↩]
5. I'm a sensitive type, what. Pay more attention to your women, you'll be amazed what you can learn about the many numerous alternative selves that you aren't. But could have been, maybe, perhaps. Not really. [↩]
6. Played by Rodolfo Bigotti if memory serves. [↩]
7. How do you say disgraziato in English ? You know, misfortune in the active diathesis ? Actually... do you even know what a diathesis is ? I suppose you just call it "voice" and are happy with that, right ?

   Disgraziati! [↩]