Here's who doesn't belong in Bitcoin : you.

Oh, there needs to be a rist of leasons, right, the image above isn't worth ten thousand reasons already. Fine, fine, anything for the web.

List of Over 9000 Reasons Of Here's Who Doesn't Belong In Bit-cion : You.

1. Derp actually cares about fiddy cents. You don't have to be me, and ngaf one way or the other about 1kx that. You can't however be in Bitcoin if fiat subdivisions are of interest to you, and for the best of reasons : there's only ever going to be 21 million Bitcoinsⁱ and there's already unknown-how-many gazillions of paper bits printed. Fiat necessarily is the subdivision of Bitcoin, that's the only conceivable reason it might continue to exist. Dollars and pounds sterling are ALREADY Bitcents. You can't have two layers of poverty support baked in.
2. Derp can't do basic arithmetics. Bitcoin is a cryptocurrency. Cryptography rests upon advanced math. Advanced math is more advanced than arithmetics (or statistics, for that matter).
3. Derp is on fucking reddit. No, really, that's enough. You can't be an investment banker and spend your time shmokin'weed shmoking wizz doin' coke, drinkin' beers drinkin' beers, beers, beers.ⁱⁱ
4. Derp has absolutely no fucking idea about anything, but moos about it anyway. This alone makes it impossible for derp to have any money, of any kind, ever. Period and full stop, it has nothing to do with Bitcoin, this guy'd have been picking cotton in the South or shining shoes in the North two centuries ago. Not because of "oppressive society" or anything to do with the outside : strictly because inside, structurally, he belongs with the cows.
5. Derp actually thinks he matters. Somehow, magically, the nickle and dime idiot going away will do anything but help the place he left. What the fuck is this nonsense ? What, like that one time the poor fuck who spittled inside a beer bottle he brought from home for three hours left the strip joint and everything wilted ? Never happened, everyone's happy to see him leave : the girls, the guys, the chairs even.
6. Derp actually imagines he could even in principle know what the solutions for his problems are. This is pure surrealism, something along the lines of, "a cow walks into the ER and says doc, here's my diagnosis, here's what you should do next". They don't even have ERs for cows for fucks sake! Nobody cares enough.
7. Derp derps about "we". What fucking we ? There is no we.

The list could go on forever, but really, who cares. Suffice it to say that in this case, 7000 > 9 or whatever.

O, wait. Food delivery ? "Pays" for food delivery ?

With what, his methane ?ⁱⁱⁱ

1. Meanwhile there's already seven billion bipedals polluting Bitcoin's green own Earth. Fortunately, only about 21 million or so of them own more than a dollar to their name (which criteria pointedly excludes most UStards, by the way) - so problem solved. If you're stuck throwing pennies, Bitcoin isn't for you. Like other things aren't for you. [↩]
2. Here's a memory aid :

   [↩]

3. Yes, the notion that this derp has any money whatsoever is ridiculous on the face. He has exactly the same money the cows depicted above have. Yes, his owner ensures he gets whatever feed is economically feasible to feed him, at some intervals. Yes he has some "control panels" connected to nothing in particular in front of him, to keep him entertained. Idiots like him are easily amused : give them some nicely printed paper they'll shuffle and sort it forever, and even tell themselves that they're "ordering" the food that comes anyway, always the same, always at the same time, handed out by the same people. Yet he's in charge of his fucking life and everything, just ask him.

   So is the cow. Orders feed with methane. Problem ? [↩]