So while waiting for server deployments, private eye reports, summaries, bank account statements and so on and so forth and neverendingly on and on, I've been entertaining myself on and off all morning reading Confessions of a Reformed InCel.i
With due apologies to the sane people reading Trilema, let's take it easy with the refuse of Western society, it'll be a fun ride. Maybe.
In honor of my 10,000th view.. i’m going to publish what i consider the hardest post i’ve ever written. But it needs to be written, for i may be an extreme, i know i’m not alone. This isn’t written for the PUA or the Alpha or the Pussy Slayer™. This is written for you, the one without hope.. to know there is hope and you can get better.
Thanks for the hits guys! Snapshot taken 07/09/12 at 2:33 pm after 3 weeks on the interwebz.
[actually no.. i've crossed 50k. that's how long i've been holding onto this draft, terrified of letting it go. but i saw a comment today that finally let me pull the trigger.]
For comparison, here's my last month :
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The point of this unfairiii comparison isn't that I'm so much better than some random dweeb on the Internet - holy hell, that's what we have the Internet for in the first place, to give us a window into the life of dweebs. Like Seinfeld saidiv, "Sitting here talking to you makes me happy". The point of this comparison isn't to show that whatever, 50k views are exactly nothing stuffed with fresh French zeros in a light sauce of whatever. If you have any sort of neural network functioning in the cranial cavity you'll have figured this on your own, and if you've not figured it on your own I've not the resources that'd electrocute you back to coherence.
So what is the point of this comparison then ?
Fancy you should ask, I was just about to tell you. Remember that "You can do anything" SNL bit I keep linking all the time ? Well, in it, Daniel Radcliffe says "You see, I've posted a video of myself online and one thousand people have watched it, and therefore I assume everyone knows my name and admires my work." That's the fucking problem here : this contemptible schnook figures he has a point, and figures he's important and interesting because
10 50k views. Do you know what else gets that many views ? Any piss stain in any urinal in any city center. The average mole. That little spec right on the frame of your monitor that you've never noticed before. But no, he wants to believe, and if he wants to believe what's easier than... you know... believing! That's the problem there nobody's addressing, the schnooks aren't consumers because advertising, the schnooks and advertising are because they want to believe. Now go sell him something, he's formatted. Moving on
Firstly, before you continue, please go read THIS POST. [Edit Apr.30,2014: Due to the explosion of traffic from AskMen, I have noticed this post is no longer available, so i will instead invite you to go read THIS POST instead ] No offense to the author, my past wasn’t her fault.. but it struck the usual nerve with me. You need to read posts like this to let the feeling of inequality fill you up.
So I'm the sort of guy that actually pays people to make summaries of things for him. Guess what'd happen if one day someone wrote a summary that was longer than the thing summarized, and inside of it they included a "before you read further, GO READ THIS". And then "welcome back" ? What the fuck is this presumptuous nonsense! Yo schnook! I couldn't care less about your delusional directoral indications, this isn't the film of your mental processes mattering in the world to the degree I do what you say. Your girlfriend does what I say, act a-fucking-cordingly!
See, I don't need to read anything to let the feeling of inequality fill me up. I'm full of it as it is.
Nature’s cruel joke and cosmic irony in one. I as a man, biologically driven365 days a year to ejaculate and produce sperm as often as possible, and having the drive and desire to want it every waning moment, who is villified for this natural urge and made to feel ashamed of my sexuality, control it and subdue it to conform to the feminine imperative… have to listen to women, who in their solipsism cannot fathom the ordeal of what i’m about to write about, women who biologically ovulate and desire sex rather infrequently compared to men, talk about, no celebrate their sexuality, their urges and desires.. and lament their short dry spells as if the world were coming to an end.
Actually, that's not quite true, that first part. Ever said something like "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" ? Obviously you couldn't, and after the first three pounds or so of horse, with 99% and change of the carcass left to go, you'd be full, and being full you'd sing a different tune. In this same line, my grandmother had a bunch of older relatives she took care of in their very very decrepit old age, and frequently pronounced uncharitable judgments on the poor people in question and their unwholesome (in her eyes) self indulgence and self neglect. And she was going to do herself in rather than go through all that. And then a decade or so later she went through all that, because guess what ? You can make a million promises after you're well sated, but you're in a different state than when you're horny, and so as you get hornier and hornier the horse seems more and more attractive, if you'll pardon the bestial implication. And even if you don't pardon it : you will pardon it if you go without for long enough. O, not you, right ? Surely.
It is the curse of "democratic" governments that they mismanage finance, like so : in the depths of a currency crisis, the extreme excess of the bezzle becomes apparent, and with it all the ugly, unseemly attendants, moral hazard and misallocation of capital and so on. So the "responsible" politicians go about to make rules and regulations of extreme firmness and seriousness and generally lock the stable door shut and plug all the windows just about the time the last horse left. This'd be of course the absolute worst time to tighten things, because it's more likely to hamper recovery than to do anything positive. Then a few years pass, the efforts towards recovery, hampered as they are by "authorities" of all stripes nevertheless manage to recongeal things into a semblance of functionality, at which point voices are heard that.. well... regulation is preventing competition, don't you know. And it has to be relaxed, don't you know. And so they do, at the worst possible moment.
If you had a wife that claimed chastity and monogamy and to prove this beyond possible dispute insisted you lock her pussy in thick steel just as soon as she gets home at 6am on a Sunday morning, only to have it all removed next Friday evening around eight or so... would any of this ring a bell with you ? It would, wouldn't it. Well, that's why I tend to use sex as a metaphor all the damn time : that way you actually get it.
So, no. Men seem created to have sex 24/365 only to this kind of guy. Or to quote,
It SEEMS like you'd do it 365 days a year, every waking moment, after a month in the can. But after a month in the harem, it's like... mmm... wanna lick my asshole bebbeh ?
It may seem that way, but normal kids learn that things ain't what they seem about the age of three or so, five I guess if they're really slow UStardians or something. Anyway, moving on.
Women can say they love sex just as much as men. I would call BS. Until there is a glut of male prostitutes, male escorts, male rub n tugs for female patrons, a demand for male sex workers and strippers i’ll say nay.
This actually is a strawman argument. Women like sex just as much as men do is the thesis, but women like the same kind of sex, and in the same way as men do, is the application. Some do, sure, but it's exceedingly rare. The vast majority don't. Some pretend they do out of misguided political inclination and dumbass group pressure, much like a bunch of kids (ie, the majority of self-identified faggots) pretend they're gay to cover for the fact they're boring. Nevertheless, imagine what'd happen to this argument if we applied it in earnest. Like so :
Women can say they love sex just as much as men do, but I call BS. Until every woman out there spends all her waking moments fantasizing about how she'll penetrate things with her clitoris, spend $$$ on clitoral enlargement creams and shoves a finger in her asshole when beating offv I’ll say nay.
Make any sense ? Good, didn't think so. Moving on.
Unless they’re all having alpha sex on the side perhaps? Or will touching themselves to 50 shades suffice? At least mommy porn is culturally acceptable. Women DO NOT need sex like men do.. otherwise the sphere would not exist.
The "sphere" whatever the fuck that is exists because you're stupid and fat. It's the collected ash of your numerous failures, shortcomings, inadequacies and assorted defeats. It has nothing to do with women, and generally a bunch of whiny fuckwits gathered round to discuss a topic have little to do with the topic at all. For instance, the existence of the discipline of Physics is little proof that the Universe is in any sense complex and excellent proof that we have serious fucking problems comprehending it. Similarly, the large populations on various car-dedicated forums aren't proof that cars don't enjoy being driven around. You get the idea.
But at any rate : yes women DO have a lot of alpha sex on the side. That's kind-of the fucking point of alpha maledom : that they can keep busy a good number of women. Think buck and his does to get the idea. There's this little campus with 10`000 students, about 3`000 of them or so are unfuckable, of which about 1`000 women. The remainder 4k gals are split : the top 500 to 1k fucks about ten or twelve dozen guys, always the same, taking it to like a dozen chicks per dude. The lower twists get it maybe once a semester, the higher ups get pounded by one or the other almost daily. The remainder 3k enjoy on again off again relationships with the 1 maaaybe 2k dudes that are marginally fuckable, keep wiggling them around maybe they happen on one of the golden dozens, stuff like that. Out of the say 1k lays that happen each day on that campus, a hundred or so guys get about half, another thousand get the other half and the rest wonder about why is teh womenz not more socialist. Here's a thought : womenz are not socialist because you're an extra in this film, and the sooner you find the way out the better, for everyone. Now git.
I was that beta/omega/zeta. I let myself get LJBF‘ed on multiple occasions being that ‘nice guy’ that male hating cunt Amanda Marcotte despises. I played by the rules as handed down to me by the feminine authorities on what women would look for and appreciate in a man. I was asked to believe what they said, not what they did. ‘Just be yourself‘ (your nice beta supplicating self) was the golden code.
Let it be clearly stated, for the benefit of any other naive children who were brought up by wolves apparently, 'cause parents this stupid I can't readily imagine : it takes about a decade of structured beatings and assorted education before you get a female into a position of emotional stability and intellectual maturity so that you can take what she says into consideration.
Human to Human. I don’t feel human.
I tend to agree. I don't think the author is human either. I mean, sure, they're a sack of flesh with some vague genetic similarities to the great apes. So what ? So is any cultured tumor, so is the nose growing on a rabbit for transplant. They're human too, now ?! Spare me.
I can only imagine what a productive member of civilization i would be IF i was brought up with masculine values and was sexually sated. Instead i spent my life living out the following tale trying to figure out what my problem was and living as a manic bipolar depressive. Instead here i sit, a MGTOW, never finding enough reason or desire to become productive beyond my own means.
Herp. Let me find that great cartoon. Ah here it is :
How he could have amounted to something if only the entire world bent itself backwards to accommodate him preemptively! Ooof but how sweet. How cute. How one hundred lashes a day and dogfood meals for the rest of the week. For crying out loud.
You're not worth anything, you despicable shitsack. You don't have the right to expect anything, nor the grounds to demand anything. GO. DO. SOMETHING. FIRST.
I am deeply offended by the obtuse manner in which y'all are bringing up these children. Start beating them now, seriously, it'll be easier on all of you. But moving on :
I lost my virginity at late 17 to a girl and our relationship lasted for just over 5 months. When it ended i fell into a deep depression. What i should have been told at that moment was to identify what was it about me that made me lack confidence, to fix it and to head back out into the world. To listen to the guys who were #winning
I doubt this point is actually worth pursuing, personally. I mean, take the case of the broken skateboard. Sure, you can glue it back together. If you use some real high performance glue it may even be sort-of usable, kinda. Wouldn't you just want a new one anyway ?
Same thing. Not anything can be fixed, not everything's worth trying to fix.
Instead i followed my feminist programming and female advice off a cliff into hell.
Feminism taught me a lot throughout the 80’s and 90’s. It taught me not to question women’s sexual choices. It taught me to treat them with deference and respect. It taught me not to accost them for sex aggressively, but to treat them as human beings. It taught me that i MUST control my shallow, greedy, dangerous impulses but allow a woman the right to indulge in hers. It taught me to be nice for the sake of being nice and not expecting sex in return. To give all my emotional and platonic ability and not dare ask for intimacy in return.
It taught me everything i needed to be creepy, unattractive and doormat ready.
What i SHOULD have been told is “hit the gym, build some muscle, guys with muscles are hawt” – “get braces now, you’ll smile a lot and we love guys with big smiles” – “go see a dermatologist, we love sexy skin on a man” – “cut off your long hair, you don’t look like a rocker, you look like a hippy. crew cuts are sexy, you’d look good in one” – “learn a skill and become good in it. become confident in it. we love confidence”
Yyyyeah! Thaaat's what they should have said. *rolleyes*
All the advice to the contrary, telling me I WAS OK AS I WAS allowed me to abdicate my responsibility to start working on that issue. It led me to believe people should like me for who i am, not what my exterior presents. My first cross to bear. Instead of working to fix my skin deep issues and develop a greater sense of self worth, i continued listening to that advice to find one who would appreciate me for my ‘nice‘ qualities instead. This further perpetuated the vicious circle of being constantly friendzoned or rejected outright by women. Being myself was supposed to work but badboys were winning the day. Instead of reading it properly and abandoning the beta to become the badass, i doubled down and started hating badboys and believed that women were just being misguided but they would eventually turn around and come to love the greater qualities of love, nurturing, compassion and empathy i had massive stockpiles and reserves of. I shoved all my chips to the center of the table all in, and became a HUGE white knight Mangina.
I know some of these. You probably do too, they're very conspicuous online for some reason. Kinda fun to make fun of, but in truth they anger women something fierce. Yes, for that reason.
I got to have the pleasure of defending women from the barbs and negs of my player friends only to watch these same women i defended end up going home to sleep with them. My brain simply could not comprehend what the fuck was going on. What the fuck is wrong with these women? Oh Wait! I’m not allowed to question that.
One of the final straws was me being in stuck in an LJBF with a person whom i had mad loving feelings for. One day i confessed to her how i felt and told her the pain was just too great for me to bear and i needed a YES OR NO answer. She only wanted to be my friend. I said “you are going to lose that friendship… why not take the chance and give it a try?” She said no and ended that friendship rather than try a relationship with a ‘really wonderful and caring guy’. Her words.
2 weeks later she was fucking a player asshole narcissist dick in a NSA relationship. That dick was my former friend who knew how badly i wanted to be with her. He never missed an opportunity to rub it in my face how lovely her back looked. I guess she enjoyed doggy style.
She chose to fuck someone who cared not one bit for her and only used her for her vagina instead of someone who loved her. But it was OK because she was only looking for ‘fun’ and not a relationship.
My world shattered.
Epic. But moving on, look what we run into :
That thing is supposed to be... Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Except it isn't, not really, not in any sense. I may be what women imagine men should want, but otherwise the real hierarchy of needs goes like this :
I. Homeostasis. This means, drink when you're thirsty, food when you're hungry and a warm place to shit in. This is purely biological, and shared with all life on Earth (and probably beyond).
II. Material domination. This means, the ability to move around in the environment at will, at a minimum, and is a part shared with mostvii lifeform models that came out more recently than slugs. For more advanced animals it includes specific environment structures. Cats want a perch. Men want tools they can use, and the use of which is effectual, that's to say changes the environment. That's why boys were so excited when 3D shooter makers finally got enough juice to be able to make bullet holes. Stuff like "enough stimulation to not get bored" also ends up in here, which is why solitary confinement is so scary to your average John : it has absolutely nothing to do with "society", as naive socialistoid theorists readily imagined. It has everything to do with stimulation, as long as they have the flickering screen shutins are just fine without people around.
III. Sexual domination. This means, the ability to pin a female of the species down long enough to stick it in her. Strictly, strictly that. This is shared with all mammals, for that matter, and while some people may consume a more refined version of the above, nevertheless the need itself is quite as raw as stated. Whether you eat pressed duck or mcshit, whether you order your wife to bring in the maid on a leash or run around groping girls on the campus, it's still number 3.
IV. Social domination. Making other males (and sexually uninteresting females) kiss your feet and thank you for the privilege. That's it : the humility of others, their inferiority readily acknowledged is need #4. Obviously, most people don't get to satisfy need #4viii. Tough and fuck you.
V. Mystical domination. This isn't even a need, most everyone can live just fine without even touching it, however it does yield some bitter pathology. This is all about being right when you shouldn't be, or there's no reason to be. It's what makes the compulsive gambler, incidentally : "being lucky" is not merely winning some money, but it's satisfying #5 too, which is why people readily play -EV games : what they get when they win is slightly more than the cash. This is also what makes the religious believer, and if one absolutely has to satisfy this idiocy, religious belief is probably the cheapest approach.
There you have it, that's the fucking Maslow pyramid. I have no fucking idea what the other crap is supposed to be, but forget about it already, you've been lied to.
Suffice it to say, somehow i held on. But i lost a huge part of my soul in the process and have been forever damaged by it. This isn’t something you ever recover from, you only bury it and keep piling more dirt over it, hoping to level out the massive bump, but it’s always there.
Here's the interesting part : the only reason the guy held on to imaginary wounds is that he happens to live in a socialist world, where in order to get you must... need. There's no value in being a US taxpayer, that just means you'll get charged more. There's plenty of value in being a US mental pacient, that just means you'll be given some grease. And so obviously it'll always be there : for as long as the +EV play is to pretend like you're wounded, the "wounds" are going to be quite thick all around.
Anyway, that's about all I have patience for. Laters.———
- Isn't it a little weird how much sex politics makes its way into Trilema these days ? I think it is. The curse of the English space is that these people are fucking nuts, sometimes I doubt anyone's had a half decent lay since about 1994, and consequently...
But anyway, an "incel" is one that's not getting any, and he'd like some. Yeah, they need and they have a dedicated "word" for this. The entire language's turning into a sort of Chinese, so many people wish to speak it that can't be bothered to learn it first and then predictably perceive the only solution out of the hole they dug for themselves is making up new acronym-based vocabulary. Soon enough they'll figure out it's cheaper to note down these "words" as pictograms and there we go : the language of a large group that's not a nation can't help but move from fusional to analytic, and in time proudly display all the other linguistic marks of cultural failure, or at least a healthy selection thereof. What, you think it's happenstance that China is so large and so soft ?
Here's a thought : those framers contemporary US citizens keep referring to ? Those men spoke the fusional English of 1700, not the analytic English of 2000. And similarly those Englishmen that made that empire great, and for that matter listen to Churchill's speeches and consider that the man who was going to fight on the beaches was neither speaking nor thinking in terms of "vday". Because what the fuck is a "vday" even!
You've taken a great language and turned it into something more adequate to your needs and better tailored to your abilities, my dear friends. It's a sore sight. [↩]
- This is funny, because for about a year now this article ("How to suck the cock, a guide for half of oral sex") had been forever the #2 most read article on Trilema. No matter what happened, what scandal, news story, major malfunction - this guy was there on his #2 spot. Now he's finally lost it. To... queers. [↩]
- It's unfair because I'm comparing a random month with his proud showcase of lifetime achievement ; and I'm comparing individual articles, of which I have many thousands and of which some apparently get reported on multiple lines, with his totals. [↩]
- In The Old Man :
George: There's gotta be more to life than this. What gives you pleasure?
Jerry: Listening to you. I listen to this for fifteen minutes and I'm on top of the world. Your misery is my pleasure.
- Oh you don't, do you ?
Your loss. The reason she doesn't is because she doesn't HAVE IT. [↩]
- It seriously is not actually feminist. I'm a feminist, not Reddit-Whatsherface. [↩]
- If you prevent a mussel from moving around it won't be all that upset. [↩]
- Which is what makes people want to be teachers, for instance, in spite of the pay being shit. [↩]