The socioeconomics of swing

No, we're not talking Benny Goodman & friends ; we're talking sex. Since I've just lectured on the topic for my own haremⁱ, I figure it might as well be memorialized here. What could it possibly hurt ?

So, as the year of our lord 1980 rolled around and the neglected female side of an upper middle-class marriage started taking her first timid steps towards fucking aroundⁱⁱ (late as usual), she discovered herself quite in a pickle. Anonymous sex might be nice and good (not really, women have a very different approach to sex and enjoy it differently), but finding a partner's a complete headache!

Most of the people she'd know come with an absolute guarantee of domestic dramas, for numerous reasons on a lengthy list I don't want to review because the demographic in question disgusts me soⁱⁱⁱ ; gloryholes really don't work for the pearl clutcher... what's a gal to do ?

Wouldn't it be perfect if there were a repository somewhere -- like a warehouse or something -- of dudes who are just like her husband used to be twenty years ago, more or less (specifically more and specifically less), but who also don't know her at all^iv ? After all... Walmart's not a coincidence. Walmart's there because women enjoy sex perceive the world differently and approach it in their own particular fixed way, which is how you end up with Walmartsex in the first place.

Enter the swinger club, an exactly taylored solution to the exactly delineated problem. All you had to do, as the owner and operator of one of these, were two things : first off, handle the faux opulence they're really really into for those three to nine seconds right after the loogie hit the dumpster^v. Second off, get a local coven of Karens^vi to come over. They'd more or less handle accretion afterwards (at a shockingly slow rate driven by the fact that ultimately women really really really do not want to sexually compete, specifically because it's the only thing that keeps them young, pleasant or interesting) while the combined weight of their collective behinds bends time and space such that you can turn around and use it to keep the dudes in line. Frankly speaking nobody ever gave a shit about those, since the dawn of days they've always been an afterthought ; therefore "do this, don't do that, or else you're out of here, buster!" always worked, and always will work wonders. Or what, you think the platforms were censoring you ? Keks.

By the time the Clintons rolled around this was all dead in the water, because the Internet first^vii and the phones thereupon simply killed the business model. Why would she eat the still present downsides of her local club when she can just Instagram or whatever ? Less structure, more anonimity (of the exact sort of faux she was looking for in the first place), and besides... women have a very different approach to sex and enjoy it differently. As it turns out they don't even really have to have any, "likes" being an absolutely adequate substitute for most Karens to all the messy sticky sweaty work involved.

And all the better, really. I never much liked swinger clubs, on account of the very... Simon Taquet characters they tend to produce.

1. A discussion brought about by the shock and dismay resulting from my mocking of... actually, let's to the whole thing over.

   So, continuing our Dorks Of Youtube series (like "People" Of Walmart but without perceptible BO, owing to the fortunate circumstance that they ain't yet got mikes for that, thanks goodness), there's a quartet of pompous dorks discussing The Biggest Swinger Club in California (291,133 views, Jun 5, 2017).

   In this video, Matt & Bianca talk to Tom & Bunny, General Managers of Freedom Acres in Southern California. Filmed at Hedonism in Jamaica, they talk about their amazing club, running into your family, schoolmates and priest at a swingers club, and how to act around a celebrity when you...

   Etcetera etcetera. I expect you captured the principal ideas : biggest, general managers, hedonism and so vorwarts. Well... here it is, off their very own website :
   

   

   Careful lest you run into an celebrity. Or something.

   Any... questions ? [↩]

2. Note that this is not a discussion individual choice. We're discussing demographics, which are specifically what happens after individual choice bites a steel girder. I'm sure your own Mom / Aunt Luise / whatever the fuck are actual people with actual preferences who drove loopy circles towards some out of town motel every other Saturday because of their own individually held and personally felt aesthetic notions, hence the hairy seal rolling over them on standard motel bedding. Nevertheless... from up here I can't well distinguish them from all the other fifty thousand moms and aunts Luise, okay ? It's really not my fault! [↩]
3. Quit whining about how "the government destroyed the middle class". You're not "the middle class" you take yourself for, the independent and productive bourgeois craftsmen of 1700. You're all bureaucrats, the people Stalin hated most, the people everyone hates because, quite frankly, there's nothing uncotemptible anywhere in you. Go die in a fire, computers ate your lunch anyways. [↩]
4. By which "at all" it is strictly and specifically meant he won't go and man up on her. She's into cucks, she's married one, she's looking for another (or rather, in the mostly detached penis of some other younger cuck)... be it because that's what the family "thought is best" or because the man in her early life rejected her (for cause, no doubt, but she doesn't think she should take that to heart), be it for whatever reason Karen's sexual world is rather narrow and most definitely flat. [↩]
5. A quirk of "personality" (if indeed battery chickens middle-class females can be said to have such a thing as a personality) perhaps best memorialized by Kafka. [↩]
6. The main character in Fargo, or Arquette's character in Search and Destroy, or for that matter the eponymous Karen in The Graduate, twenty years after she didn't walk out of church to be on a bus with the weirdo jew kid (as you fucking well know she didn't, not irl, which is why the film even exists in the first place -- you regretted it ever since). [↩]
7. We mean "the Internet" as in IRC, not as in "the web". The web did nothing for anyone, it's a footnote. [↩]