The journall of the good Mr. Archibald Pizdys, as laid in his own hand for the year, of our King Charles, 19th, week 12.
12th. Up, and abroad, with my own coach, to Auditor Beale's house, and thence with W. Hewer to his Office, and there with great content spent all the morning looking over the Navy accounts of several years, and the several patents of the Treasurers, which all he has and was more than I did hope to have found there with him.
About noon I ended there, to my great content, and giving the clerks 20s. for their trouble, I to leave, but their master Beale having been told, at first set to refuse any money, which I protested that it is naught and merely to ease some trifle the life and goings of hard working clerks as had done very well by me, which melted him some but he then protested I must stay at their table which I could not refuse, which I was inclined to not for the wants of company but for the many burdens presently on my mind in these matters. Yet not being able to refuse I then stayed, determined to make the best of it, with Beale and his clerks all at the office, over some little collation ; and by and by discovered Mr. Beale a most good and sensible man, and doing a lot and well in the king's work, which I am glad for, all the more as the rarer it is seen these late days.
Here a singular thing, that had occasion to inquire about, all being at much ease, namely a young girl, who I then found is Berber and bought at the market, like any other no different, three years thence, but sitting at table with the clerks and in suchlike manner, not like a girle but clerk truly, and dressed like them and all, which is indeed a rare sight ; at which her Master Beale, who doth owns her outright like it is the manner, as any horse or slave are, told that she is the cleverest of his clerks there and all the others nodding and in agreement, and that she hath made improvements both large and numerous to their method in the office and all, and he should truly not trade her for half the Patent Office. Only she blushed at such talk, like a young girle which at the bottom is, though truly not as young as some I have seen sold and are, but very still, which is unheard for one to know so much so early. Mr. Beale's manner being so free in this gave me pause, for I forthwith wanted to ask of him the girl, to loan a while, which truly had I asked he could not have now refused in the circumstance as we were, but I did not so ask for not to put him to regret his candor to me and welcoming manner, but I labour with the thought and can not set it aside, so in some manner ask I must, yet I have to find one honorable and in good feeling.
And, thinking of naught else than how can girl become clerk, sent for W. Howe to me to discourse with him about the Patent Office records, wherein I remembered his brother to be concerned, I took him in my coach with W. Hewer and myself towards Westminster ; and there he carried me to Nott's, the famous bookbinder, that bound for my Lord Chancellor's library ; and here I did take occasion for curiosity to bespeak a book to be bound, only that I might have one of his binding. Thence back to Graye's Inne: and, at the next door, at a cook's-shop of Howe's acquaintance, we bespoke dinner, it being now two o'clock; and in the meantime he carried us into Graye's Inne, to his chamber, where I never was before ; and it is very pretty, and little, and neat, as he was always. And so, after a little stay, and looking over a book or two there, we carried a piece of my Lord Coke with us, and to our dinner, where, after dinner, he read at my desire a chapter in my Lord Coke about perjury, wherein I did learn a good deal touching oaths, and so away to the Patent Office ; in Chancery Lane, where his brother Jacke, being newly broke by running in debt, and growing an idle rogue, he is forced to hide himself ; and W. Howe do look after the Office, and here I did set a clerk to look out some things for me in their books, while W. Hewer and I to the Crowne Offices where we met with several good things that I most wanted, and did take short notes of the places in the dockets, to send later clerk to copy all.
And so back to the Patent Office, and did the like there, and by candle-light ended. And so home, where, thinking to meet my wife with content, after my pains all this day, I find her in her closet, alone, in the dark, in a hot fit of railing, upon some news she has this day heard of Deb.'s living very fine, and with black spots, and speaking ill words of her mistress, which I owned with good reason might vex her ; so I listened to her rail like a madwoman for a while, which by and by softened her and brought her back to ground, whereupon I told her Mr. Beale's clerke, the girle, and she would not believe, saying in her hotness of anger rather that it is my seeing what I like to see, as it is and I oft admitted myself with girle's behinds often, where I think them at first sight moreso than they are ; which yet I own may also be, but I think not.
So thereupon she fell to scheming in aiding me how to make use and get hold of that girle to try out, which I could see truly did set her mind at ease, but we came not to anything. For if I were to ask him to lend her out to do my copy-work at the Crowne Office it'd be as if I had asked then and there only colder and to my shame would look hidden in suchway as children hide behind fingers, which I would never have ; and if I were to ask him to dine with us as if in furtherance of my debt to him having stopped me over to dine it'd be in the first place so pretentious as to almost slight his kind and open hearted offering for somehow being insufficient or even had insulted me somehow, neitherwhich I would, and more, if the girle is not spoken of he not likely would think to bring her, and if she be mentioned it'd be such as to make a cold mockery of the whole and us ridiculous above pompous. But then she said we could next there's a guest of substance and import invite him, Beale, as well, and thereby propose he bring her to shew himself off to greater advantage, which I own is the cure to one, but the source of ten troubles, for who knows what they there may say or do thereupon ; nor is it easy to have her shown as a clerke outside the office, for the girle is comely enough and men will see what they will.
Yet one good thing came of our confering, my wife's thought, that it may be so that he aims to sell her but in discreet, for settlement of debts secret or for maybe secret jealousy in his home but if it were, then indeed he would think to bring her if asked for dinner, and so we could in that case make offer then and there. Excepting of course it would be a heavy sum I think, and more than one is wise to keep ordinarily about the house or willingly dispense with, and more it is, that if indeed this be the case then before I would make such offer on the spot I'd have to know if indeed he is pressed, and how and by what, thereby I'd have to inquire, which may well make more noise than all is worth. But I do resolve to keep an ear out and see if I hear aught, which is more than if it were naught at all.
By then she had come to very good and kind terms, poor heart! and I was heartily glad of it, for I do see there is no man can be happier than myself, if I will, with her. And she begged if it pleased me to permit her to again swear her vows before me, which I gladly did, and she begged to worship me, and so with all possible kindness to bed.
13th. Up, and to the Tower, to see Sir W. Coventry, and with him talking of business of the Navy, all alone, an hour, he taking physic. And so away to the Office, where all the morning, and then home to dinner, with my people, and so to the Office again, and there all the afternoon till night, when comes, by mistake, my cozen Turner, and her two daughters, which love such freaks, to eat some anchovies and ham of bacon with me, instead of noon, at dinner, when I expected them. But, however, I had done my business before they come, and so was in good humour enough to be with them, and so home to them to supper, and pretty merry, being pleased to see Betty Turner, which hath something mighty pretty. But that which put me in good humour, both at noon and more night, is the fancy that I am this day made a Captain of one of the King's ships, Mr. Wren having this day sent me the Duke of York's commission to be Captain of "The Jerzy", this done in order to my being of a Court-martiall for examining the loss of "The Defyance," and other things ; which do give me occasion of much mirth, and we made merry and fancied at having all the girls ship wenches and my wife and my coz officers until we had turned the house upside down with such sillyness ; but besides it may be of some use to me, at least I shall get a little money by it for the time I have it ; all being designed that I must really be a Captain to be able to sit in this Court.
They staid till about eight at night, and then away, and my wife to read to me. I set her upon the papers of the Dutch India company, and therein was the report from Peter Schaghen as to how that island in New York, which was indeed, some sixty years ago, bought for sixty guilders worth of trade, which is as pretty a thought as can be had, and we made much sport of it ; but then she said idly that men must have done so before, and must still be doing so and will do so, and thereupon it came to me the thought, that what Beale had by chance was none different, every day our ships bring forth slavegirls for the markets who are traded on the appearance only, but appearances deceive and it is as if selling poor land for farming to one who buys it to collier. She owned it being so, as it must be, and then we had silence, and then she asked with me if I would have her procuress, chiding in jest that it'd be much more than her 30 a year she presently has.
Yet the truth is, none can ever go broke buying silver but paying clay ; nor as that one said to the King, will one who doesn't bend knee for a penny ever be worth a pound. And in my office and at my work, the trouble I perceive to have, viz, my sight ever worse, is readily helped by my wife's and others' reading, which is so, but moreso is the trouble I have that I had not afore perceived, which is, that my lord the Duke had asked me to name a man when I had no man to name, for clerks can be had that do work, but the more they do the moreso ambitious, and it is almost worse to have a very smart boy about than merely a smart one, for the smart one wants twice what his work merits and is still barely content, even if his work be twice what is ordinarily seen, but paid contentedly for by a piece of fourpence ; whereas the very smart will want to be a baronet for it, which the other did by half and he did whole, but this can not be on the Earth, where a quarter wine is a half-shilling but a half is ten pounds sterling and a full measure the country seat of Devon ; though this the boys would, if they could, and even if could not, which is indeed the countenance the lords do put upon the Temple troubles late. So I had long hence resolved to not have much court or household about me in this manner and for these reasons, but one or other of the family or a servant or two, which course I do fully credit with my private felicity and also being of more substance in this world than debt, and bless for it. For all they others of the opposite view, whether they knew themselves their views or not, from my Lord Buckingham down are all broken and beggars and of no substance whatsoever, though they may clamour loudly as they might, yet they are one and all like sailors overboard, each moment just that moment's struggle of all the limbs to keep the mouth above water ; and so it is with the King, may God help me, in that the young gentlemen about him did save his life at first only to ruin him and his kingdom afterwards.
But coming otherwise at it, if I would have my wife procuress she would be out of the house on her business, all the time, and I would not see her as oft ; but then it could be said I'd see another girl she'd leave behind, to do her stead ; but the truth is I would not have another do her stead by me, but her ; but then how is it to her, to make her do a lowly job when she could do so higher ? It is as if she were a slave in her turn ; but this, she is, and so she says, though she be my wife, she kneels and owns herself below the traded girls, which is in truth the only right and proper way, as Christ himself below went, though he, like her, went there by himself. Yet I would miss her, is the truth, but for my missing will I then keep all ships in port and all lads with their Mother's breast until the Moor or Turk do come and this time past Medway into Whitehall fair, and put us all to swing ? And add besides, that in all the things there can be as likely one measure as another, if she were procuress she would not live at the market, but live in my house still ; arrangement can be made to serve all purpose... But then again, the woman is hot, and she cuts to the quick too quickly, which is her trouble, and not in the way of merchantry at all ; but then perhaps in working it she'd polish it as all things worked are polished thereby, and I would have a better wife throughout for her being half procuress and for what she in that learns of the world, and of herself foremost, than if I kept her wife wholly, emprisoned in the house ; yet this is liable to cost, pray God almighty it only cost that which I have and naught beside.
Thus to bed, in mighty good humour, but for my eyes, and head full of swirl in thoughts.
14th (Lord's day). Up, and to my office with Tom, whom I made to read to me the books of Propositions in the time of the Grand Commission, which I did read a good part of before church, and then with my wife to church, where I did see my milliner's wife come again, which pleased me ; but I wanted naught to do as other time I might have wanted, for my head full of thought on these matters and if I do finance my wife in her thoughts, what room for milliner wives ? So here we heard a most excellent good sermon of Mr. Gifford's, upon the righteousness of Scribes and Pharisees. So home to dinner and to work again, and so till dinner, where W. Howe come and dined with me, and staid and read in my Lord Cooke upon his chapter of perjury again, which pleased me, and so parted, and I to my office, and there made an end of the books of Propositions, which did please me mightily to hear read, they being excellently writ and much to the purpose, and yet so as I think I shall make good use of his defence of our present constitution.
About four o'clock took coach to visit my cozen Turner, and I out with her to make a visit, but the lady she went to see was abroad, the girls about the house eager to please, but I having no mind to it we back and to talk with her and her daughters, whom I did each in turn spank on the bare buttocks for their release upon their confessions of silly little girlish misdeeds, that did set them visibly at ease and all merry. Then home, and she and I to walk in the garden, the first time this year, the weather being mighty temperate ; and then I to write down my Journall for the last week, my eyes being very bad, and therefore I forced to find a way to use by turns with my tube, one after another, and so home to supper and to bed. Before I went from my office this night I did tell Tom my resolution not to keep him after Jane was gone, but shall do well by him, which pleases him ; and I think he will presently marry her, and go away out of my house with her.
15th. Up, and by water with W. Hewer to the Temple; and thence to the Rolls, where I made inquiry for several rolls, and was soon informed in the manner of it ; and so spent the whole morning with W. Hewer, he taking little notes in short-hand, while I hired a clerk there to read to me about twelve or more several rolls which I did call for ; and it was great pleasure to me to see the method wherein their rolls are kept; that when the Master of the Office, one Mr. Case, do call for them, who is a man that I have heretofore known by coming to my Lord of Sandwich's, he did most readily turn to them. At noon they shut up ; and W. Hewer and I did walk to the Cocke, at the end of Suffolke Streete, where I never was, a great ordinary, mightily cried up, and there bespoke a pullett ; which while dressing, he and I walked into St. James's Park, and thence back, and dined very handsome, with a good soup, and a pullet, for 4s. 6d. the whole. Thence back to the Rolls, and did a little more business, and so by water to White Hall, whither. I went to speak with Mr. Williamson, that if he hath any papers relating to the Navy I might see them, which he promises me ; and so by water home, with great content for what I have this day found, having got almost as much as I desire of the history of the Navy, from 1618 to 1642, when the King and Parliament fell out. So home, and did get my wife to read, and we talked some more, but indecisive both from me and from her, though I do perceive she'd rather do than not do, but will not out herself too far so as not to thereby displease or give rise to divergence ; so to supper and to bed.
16th. Up, and to the office, after having visited Sir W. Coventry at the Tower, and walked with him upon the Stone Walk, alone, till other company come to him, and had very good discourse with him. At noon home, where my wife and Jane gone abroad, and Tom, in order to their buying of things for their wedding, which, upon my discourse the last night, is now resolved to be done, upon the 26th of this month, the day of my solemnity for my cutting of the stone, when my cozen Turner must be with us. My wife, therefore, not at dinner, as mayhap a taste of things to come ; and there comes to me Mr. Evelyn of Deptford, a worthy good man, and dined with me, but a bad dinner ; who is grieved for, and speaks openly to me his thoughts of, the times, and our ruin approaching ; and all by the folly of the King, he says. His business to me was about some ground of his, at Deptford, next to the King's yard ; and after dinner we parted. My sister Michell coming also this day to see us, whom I left there, and I away down by water with W. Hewer to Woolwich, where I have not been I think more than a year or two, and here I saw, but did not go on board, my ship "The Jerzy", she lying at the wharf under repair.
But my business was to speak with Ackworth, about some old things and passages in the Navy, for my information therein, in order to my great business now of stating the history of the Navy. This I did ; and upon the whole do find that the late times, in all their management, were not more husbandly than we in any great or notable degree, and I very well suspect that if I changed but the years and retold the events none could say if it was come to pass in the time of this King or of his father, be it not just things small and of detail but many large enough as to undo a man but the greatest thereof ; and other such observations of good content to me, that now I think perhaps it is more the times to foresee future evils and claim it all going to rat than it is the times of real evils and true ruin. Though it was never before the Dutch warships sailed Thames, yet it was never before for want of weakness in our forts or for want of Dutch that'd show them weak ? But even if this were so, the smoke into the chimney again packs not ; and so in this way it still can be said that what was enough oat for the ass may not suffice for his son horse, and if it were not proper to call this ruin it can not be called any great prosperity either.
Thence, after seeing Mr. Sheldon, I to Greenwich by water, and there landed at the King's house, which goes on slow, but is very pretty. I to the Park, there to see the prospect of the hill, to judge of Dancre's picture, which he hath made thereof for me ; and I do like it very well ; and it is a very pretty place. Thence to Deptford, but staid not, Uthwayte being out of the way ; and so home, and then to the Ship Tavern, Morrice's, and staid till W. Hewer fetched his uncle Blackburne by appointment to me, to discourse of the business of the Navy in the late times ; and he did do it, by giving me a most exact account in writing, of the several turns in the Admiralty and Navy, of the persons employed therein, from the beginning of the King's leaving the Parliament, to his Son's coming in, to my great content ; and now I am fully informed in all I at present desire.
We fell to other talk ; and I find by him that the Bishops must certainly fall, and their hierarchy ; these people have got so much ground upon the King and kingdom as is not to be got again from them ; and the Bishops do well deserve it through their conduct not now or last year but for many years hence. But it is all the talk, I find, that Dr. Wilkins, my friend, the Bishop of Chester, shall be removed to Winchester, and be Lord Treasurer. Though this be foolish talk, yet I do gather that he is a mighty rising man, as being a Latitudinarian, and the Duke of Buckingham his great friend. Here we staid talking till two at night, where I did never drink before since this man come to the house, though for his pretty wife's sake I do fetch my wine from this, whom I could not nevertheless get para see to-night, I think for her husband did seem to call for her. So parted here and I home, and to supper and to bed.
17th. Up, and by water to see Mr. Wren, and then Mr. Williamson, who did shew me the very original bookes of propositions made by the Commissioners for the Navy, in 1618, to my great content ; but no other Navy papers he could now shew me. Thence to Westminster by water and to the Hall, where Mrs. Michell do surprize me with the news that Doll Lane is suddenly brought to bed at her sister's lodging, and gives it out that she is married, but there is no such thing certainly, she never mentioning it before, but I have cause to rejoice that I have not seen her a great while, she having several times desired my company, but I doubt now to what end. Thence to the Exchequer, where W. Hewer come to me, and after a little business did go by water home, and there dined, and took my wife by a hackney to the King's playhouse, and saw "The Coxcomb," the first time acted, but an old play, and a silly one, being acted only by the young people. Here met cozen Turner and The. So parted there from them, and home by coach and to my letters at the office, where pretty late, and so to supper and to bed.
18th. Up, and to see Sir W. Coventry, and walked with him a good while in the Stone Walk: and brave discourse about my Lord Chancellor, and his ill managements and mistakes, and several things of the Navy, and thence to the office, where we sat all the morning, and so home to dinner, where my wife mighty finely dressed, by a new maid that she hath taken since we discoursed, and is to come to her when Jane goes ; and the same she the other day told me of, to be so handsome, and a maiden. I therefore longed to see and check this maid, but did not till after dinner, that my wife and I going by coach, she went with us to Holborne, where she was permitted to lower her hems again and we set her down. She is a mighty proper maid, seeming most dedicated, and pretty comely, but so so; but hath a most pleasing tone of voice, and speaks handsomely, but hath most great hands, something rare as fit for Spanish foot in bigness, and I believe ugly ; but very well dressed, and good clothes, and the maid I believe will please me well enough, and my wife. Thence to visit Ned Pickering and his lady, and Creed and his wife, but the former abroad, and the latter out of town, gone to my Lady Pickering's in Northamptonshire, upon occasion of the late death of their brother, Oliver Pickering, a youth they called Potts, that is dead of falling down a well. So my wife and I to Dancre's to see the pictures ; and thence to Hyde Park, the first time we were there this year, or ever in our own coach, where with mighty pride rode up and down, and many coaches there; and I thought our horses and coach as pretty as any there, and observed so to be by others. Here staid till night, and so home, and to the office, where busy late, and so home to supper and to bed, with great content, but much business in my head of the office, which troubles me, and of my wife, also.
