The journall of the good Mr. Archibald Pizdys, as laid in his own hand for the year, of our King Charles, 19th, week 13.
19th. Up, and by water to White Hall, there to the Lords of the Treasury, and did some business, and here Sir Thomas Clitford did speak to me, as desirous that I would some time come and confer with him about the Navy, which I am glad of, but will take the direction of the Duke of York before I do it, though I would be glad to do something to secure myself, if I could, in my employment. Thence to the plaisterer's, and took my face, and my Lord Duke of Albemarle's, home with me by coach, they being done to my mind; and mighty glad I am of understanding this way of having the likeness of any friends at hand always. At home to dinner, where Mr. Sheres dined with us, my wife and her maid serving us and courting all the while and groveling by as becomes, she sitting on his lap and the maid on mine, though I perceive she had on my wife's stockings I had bought, and not her owne ; but we didn't do so much while eating, and after dinner I left him with my wife, and with Commissioner Middleton and Kempthorne to a Court-martiall, to which, by virtue of my late Captainship, I am called, the first I was ever at ; where many Commanders, and Kempthorne president. Here was tried a difference between Sir L. Van Hemskirke, the Dutch Captain who commands "The Nonsuch," built by his direction, and his Lieutenant; a drunken kind of silly business.
We ordered the Lieutenant to ask him pardon, and have resolved to lay before the Duke of York what concerns the Captain, which was the striking of his Lieutenant and challenging him to fight, which comes not within any article of the laws martiall, nor of good sense in this country, and very much I doubt in his, though have I never been. I had a good mind to ask they present the wench no doubt cause it all ; but upon discourse the other day with Sir W. Coventry, I did advise Middleton, and he and I did forbear to give judgment, but after the debate did withdraw into another cabin, the Court being held in one of the yachts, which was on purpose brought up over against St. Katharine's, it being to be feared that this precedent of our being made Captains, in order to the trying of the loss of "The Defyance", justified wherein we are in fact the proper persons to enquire into the matter of such as want of instructions while ships do lie in harbour, nevertheless evil use might be hereafter made of the precedent once established, by putting the Duke of Buckingham, or any of these rude fellows that now are uppermost, to make packed Courts, by Captains in name only or not even as much as that, made on purpose out of paper to serve their turns.
The other cause was of the loss of "The Providence" at Tangier, where the Captain's being by chance on shore may prove very inconvenient to him, for example's sake, though the man be a good man, and one whom, for Norwood's sake, I would be kind to ; but I will not offer any thing to the excusing such a miscarriage, and let them all die with their ships. He is at present confined, till he can bring better proofs on his behalf of the reasons and necessity of his being on shore, which no man I think sees how could be done, but let him try nevertheless. So Middleton and I away to the Office; and there I late busy, making my people, as I have done lately, to read Mr. Holland's' Discourse of the Navy, and what other things I can get to inform me fully in all ; and here late, about eight at night, comes Mr. Wren to me, who had been at the Tower to Coventry. He come only to see how matters go, and tells me, as a secret, that last night the Duke of York's closet was broken open, and his cabinets, and shut again, one of them that the rogue that did it hath left plate and a watch behind him, and therefore they think that it was only for papers, which looks like a very malicious business in design, to hurt the Duke of York somehow ; but they cannot know till the Duke of York comes to town about the papers, and therefore make no words of it. He gone, I to work again, and then to supper at home, and, my wife reading me, to bed.
20th. Up, and to the Tower, to W. Coventry, and there walked with him alone, on the Stone Walk, till company come to him ; and there about the business of the Navy discoursed with him, and about my Lord Chancellor and Treasurer; that they were against war with the Dutch at first, declaring, as wise men and statesmen, at first to the King, that they thought it fit to have a war with them at some time or other, but that it ought not to be till we found the Crowns of Spain and France together by the Bares, the want of which did ruin our war. But then he told me that, a great deal before the war, my Lord Chancellor did speak of a war with some heat, as a thing to be desired, and did it upon a belief that he could with his speeches make the Parliament give what money he pleased, and do what he would, or would make the King desire ; but he found himself soon deceived of the Parliament, they having a long time before his removal been cloyed with his speeches and sweet words, and were come to hate him.
Here Sir W. Coventry did tell me it, as the wisest thing that ever was said to the King by any statesman of his time, and it was by my Lord Treasurer that is dead, whom, I find, he takes for a very great statesman -- that when the King did shew himself forward for passing the Act of Indemnity, he did advise the King that he would hold his hand in doing it, till he had got his power restored, that had been diminished by the late times, and his revenue settled in such a manner as he might depend on himself, without resting upon Parliaments, -- and then only pass it, then only after none had more to benefit from it, having all performed their all in its consideration. But my Lord Chancellor, who thought he could have the command of Parliaments for ever, because for the King's sake they were awhile willing to grant all the King desired, did press for its being done forthwith ; and so it was, foolishly given away that which should have been long dangled as carrot before the ass, and the King from that time able to do nothing with the Parliament almost, and the whole Realm worse for the wear for it. Yet more in there, evinced he to me, that indeed it is not the place of Princes to ever credit any ; but any must credit them, and other proceeding is folly, and can only lead to rack and ruin ; at which I did abash at the depth and breath of these truly great men's learning, and their thoughts as clear as mountain springwater when strained by him before my eyes, and else as hid as the spring in the ground ; and presently I did express and give thanks that it is not upon me and suchlike as me to foolishly blunder in these matters with great detriment for King and country, but they are in his hand and suchlike as he ; at which speech I confess I was with tears and he looked merely meekly at me from where he sat, and then looked around, for the Lord Treasurer is in Westminster, and he here in the Tower, and Buckingham loose abroad. Thence to the office, where sat all the forenoon, with melancholy thoughts, and then home to dinner, and so to the office, where late busy, and so home, mightily saddened but a little pleased by the news brought me to-night, that the King and Duke of York are come back this afternoon, and no sooner come, but a warrant was sent to the Tower for the releasing Sir W. Coventry ; which do put me in some hopes that there may be, in this absence, some accommodation made between the Duke of York and the Duke of Buckingham and Arlington. So home, to supper, and to bed.
21st (Lord's day). Up, and by water over to Southwarke; and then, not getting a boat, I forced to walk to Stangate; and so over to White Hall, in a scull; where up to the Duke of York's dressing-room, and there met Harry Saville, and understand that Sir W. Coventry is come to his house last night. I understand by Mr. Wren that his friends having, by Secretary Trevor and my Lord Keeper, applied to the King upon his first coming home, and a promise made that he should be discharged this day, my Lord Arlington did anticipate them, by sending a warrant presently for his discharge which looks a little like kindness, or at the least like a desire of it; which God send! though I fear the contrary ; however, my heart is glad that he is out.
Thence up and down the House. Met with Mr. May, who tells me the story of his being put by Sir John Denham's place, of Surveyor of the King's Works, who it seems, is lately dead, by the unkindness of the Duke Buckingham, who hath brought in Dr. Wren: though, he tells me, he hath been his servant for twenty years together in all his wants and dangers, saving him from want of bread by his care and management, and with a promise of having his help in his advancement, and an engagement under his hand for L1000 not yet paid, and yet the Duke of Buckingham so ungrateful as to put him by: which is an ill thing, though Dr. Wren is a well worthy man, and his oldest a phylosopher in her own right almost, it is said, though I only remember her as a little lass of twelve or thirteen, barely easing in herself the little first brass balls. But he tells me that the King is kind to him, and hath promised him a pension of L300 a-year out of the Works ; which will be of more content to him than the place, which, under their present wants of money, is a place that disobliges most people, being not able to do what they desire to their lodgings, though he not think to see that a pension upon such a place is no better fate indeed. Here meeting with Sir H. Cholmly and Povy, that tell me that my Lord Middleton is resolved in the Cabal that he shall not go to Tangier ; and that Sir Edward Harlow, whom I know not, is propounded to go, who was Governor of Dunkirke, and, they say, a most worthy brave man, which I shall be very glad of, though the price of Arab girls at Newmarket ever increase and never seem to ever will be brought back down again, but we must hope for the best and let a man do his work first.
So by water (H. Russell coming for me) home to dinner, where W. Howe comes to dine with me ; and after dinner propounds to me my lending him L500, to help him to purchase a place -- the Master of the Patent Office, of Sir Richard Piggott, and in gage to leave his sister or any of his cousins, as whore in our house, to the receiving of the strangers and minding of their bedding. I did give him a civil answer, but shall think twice of it; and the more, not just because we receive so little and do not seek like my lord Buckingham the favour of such as young gentlemen make a habit of visiting, but most because of the changes we are like to have in the Navy, which will not make it fit for me to divide the little I have left more than I have already done, God knowing what my condition is, I having not attended, and now not being able to examine what my state is, of my accounts, and being in the world, which troubles me mightily ; though it might be observed that perhaps one goes with the other. He gone, I to the office to enter my journall for a week. News is lately come of the Algerines taking L3000 in money, out of one of our Company's East India ships, outward bound, which will certainly make the war last ; which I am sorry for, being so poor as we are, and broken in pieces as to almost have nothing left to mend. At night my wife to read to me, which she does in her old manner seated, and then to supper, where Pelling comes to see and sup with us, and I find that he is assisting my wife in getting a licence to our young people to be married this Lent, which is resolved shall be done upon Friday next, my great day, or feast, for my being cut of the stone. So after supper to bed, my eyes being very bad.
22nd. Up, and by water, with W. Newer, to White Hall, there to attend the Lords of the Treasury; but, before they sat, I did make a step to see Sir W. Coventry at his house, where, I bless God! he is come again; but in my way I met him, and so he took me into his coach and carried me to White Hall, and there set me down where he ought not -- at least, he hath not yet leave to come, nor hath thought fit to ask it, hearing that Henry Saville is not only denied to kiss the King's hand, but the King, being asked it by the Duke of York, did deny it, and directed that the Duke shall not receive him, to wait upon him in his chamber, till further orders.
Sir W. Coventry told me that he was going to visit Sir John Trevor, who hath been kind to him; and he shewed me a long list of all his friends that he must this week make visits to, that come to visit him in the Tower, or sent him meat pastries and sultry wenches ; and seems mighty well satisfied with his being out of business, but I hope he will not long be so ; at least, I do believe that all must go to rat if the King do not come to see the want of such a servant. Thence to the Treasury-Chamber, and there all the morning to my great grief, put to do Sir G. Downing's work of dividing the Customes for this year, between the Navy, the Ordnance and Tangier, which it did so trouble my eyes, that I had rather have given L20 than have had it to do ; but I did thereby oblige Sir Thomas Clifford and Sir J. Duncombe, and so am glad of the opportunity to recommend myself to the former for the latter I need not, he loving me well already, and his daughters well as well.
At it till noon, here being several of my brethren with me but doing nothing, but I all. But this day I did also represent to our Treasurers, which was read here, a state of the charges of the Navy, and what the expence of it this year would likely be ; which is done so as it will appear well done and to my honour, and so the Lords did take it ; and I oblige the Treasurers by doing it, as done at their request. Thence with W. Hewer at noon to Unthanke's, where my wife stays for me, she having a new girl with her, and pretty enough ; and so to the Cocke, where there was no room, it all being full, and thence to King Street, to several cook's shops, where nothing to be had ; and at last to the corner shop going down Ivy Lane, by my Lord of Salisbury's, and there got a good dinner, my wife, and W. Newer, and I, she having her girl kneeling besides us at the table all the while and suckling on her feet like a contented babe ; and after dinner she, with her coach and quarry, home, that I perceive she is mightily fond of, as she sometimes goes to great fondness of the maids, but I shall have her for myself soon as well ; yet he and I to look over my papers for the East India Company, against the afternoon ; which done, I with them to White Hall, and there to the Treasury-Chamber, where the East India Company and three Councillors pleaded against me alone, for three or four hours, till seven at night, before the Lords ; and the Lords did give me the conquest on behalf of the King, yet could not or would not come to any conclusion definite, the Company being stiff and unbending ; and so I think we shall have to go to law with them.
This done, and my eyes mighty bad with this day's work, I to Mr. Wren's, and then up to the Duke of York, and there with Mr. Wren did propound to him my going to Chatham to-morrow with Commissioner Middleton, and so this week to make the pay there, and examine the business of "The Defyance" being lost, and other businesses, which I did the rather, that I might be out of the way at the wedding at home, and be at a little liberty myself for a day, or two, for I have sampled enough of Jane as is ; yet wouldn't want to give offense or at all a bad omen by refusal or withdrawal, so it is best as it works out as being for my work thus, and it'll give my eyes also little ease ; though I do suspect my servant Tom will not give me peace of her until she is at first with child at the least. The Duke of York mightily satisfied with it ; and so away home, where my wife troubled at my being so late abroad, poor woman! though never more busy she was, and panting her breath, the new one between her legs as I encountered them, all knot up together, but I satisfied her in satisfying myself of her girle, who is a whole whore and well skilled though very young in years, but not of these parts ; and so begun to put things in order for my journey to-morrow, and so, after supper, to bed.
23rd. Up, and to my office to do a little business there, and so, my things being all ready, I took coach with Commissioner Middleton, Captain Tinker, and Mr. Huchinson, a hackney coach, and over the bridge, and so out towards Chatham, and dined at Dartford, where we staid an hour or two, it being untimely warm a day and they having at the cook shops some pretty wenches out in naught but pastry, and all kind and manner of morsel and fig-fruit and flesh and fowl affixed to their bodies thereof, for all to dine, as is tradition for Spring time first, and one had a whole great eel inside her which she could retract or push back out at will, though I do not think it were truly live ; but Capt. Tinker made jest of using his cutlery upon one such as to cut more than had been affixed on her, which affrayed the poor girl something fierce though it were only jest ; and so on, and got to Chatham just at night, with very good discourse by the way, but mostly of matters of religion, wherein Huchinson his vein lies. After supper, we fell to talk of spirits and apparitions, whereupon many pretty, particular stories were told, so as to make me almost afeard to lie alone, but for shame I could not help it ; and so to bed and, being sleepy, fell soon to rest, and so rested well.
24th. Up, and walked abroad in the garden, and find Mrs. Tooker's daughters are here as I expected, and so walked together through the yard, having left Middleton at the pay, and I only walked up and down the yard with the young lasses leashed like dogs, their mother having said they lack the practice and it should greatly benefit them in their finishing and education in this world, only they'd have not done without their undergarments, for shame and shy of their large bosoms dangling under them like cows' udders and in plain sight in their yard ; but I, making use of no cane, just merely in words stood upon them, that such it is for, and as it should be, and then they were most content to, and would have gone on for longer but I had not the time ; only at the end I mounted upon the youngest and then the middle one a little, who have indeed grown fine young things.
Then to the Hill-House, and there did give order for the coach to be made ready ; and got Mr. Gibson, whom I carried with me, to go with me and Mr. Coney, the surgeon, towards Maydston which I had a mighty mind to see, and took occasion, in my way, at St. Margett's, to pretend to call to see Captain Allen to see whether Mrs. Jowles, his daughter, was there; and there his wife come to the door, he being at London, and through a window, I spied Jowles, who perceiving me readily begun exposing herself, but I made no notice of her but made excuse till night, and then promised to come and see Mrs. Allen again, and so away, it being a mighty cold and windy, but pretty and clear day ; and had the pleasure of seeing the Medway running, winding up and down mightily, and a very fine country ; but only to my displeasure that it was run with bought slavegirls at this time and not with daughters, which I do prefer ; though I suppose it is humiliating to them all the more to be made to share the bought slaves' pens and to their great benefit in learning as they almost always find themselves, the daughters, under the savage girls and in all manner prevailed upon by those, yet I still would rather see them be run than the others.
I went a little out of the way to have visited Sir John Bankes, but he at London ; but here I had a sight of his seat and house, the outside, which is an old abbey just like Hinchingbroke, and as good at least, and mighty finely placed by the river ; and he keeps the grounds about it, and walls and the house, very handsome such that I was mightily pleased with the sight of it. The pillory was empty and seeming a while now deserted, such I suppose he must've been long time in London ; but thence to Maydstone, which I had a mighty mind to see, having never been there; and walked all up and down the town, and up to the top of the steeple, and had a noble view, and then down again ; there were not many maidens affixed by its bolts, being the weather yet on some days cold, but only a few urchin-looking, haggard ones thin and gaunt as bone without marrow, whom I perceive will more likely die there than be picked up again ; and in the town did see an old man beating of two small girles tied together and hung by the wrists, and did step into the barn and give him money, and saw that piece of husbandry which I never saw, it not being habituall in our parts, and yet it is very pretty. In the street also I did buy and send to our inne, the Bell, a dish of fresh fish.
And so, having walked all round the town, and found it very pretty, as most towns I ever saw, though not very big, and people of good fashion in it, we to our inne to dinner, and had a good dinner; and after dinner a barber come to me, and there trimmed me, that I might be clean against night, to go to Mrs. Allen. And so, staying till about four o'clock, we set out, I alone in the coach going and coming; and in our way back, I 'light out of the way to see a Saxon monument, as they say, of a King, which is three stones standing upright, and a great round one lying on them, of great bigness, although not so big as those on Salisbury Plain ; but certainly it is a thing of great antiquity, and I mightily glad to see it ; it is near to Aylesford, where Sir John Bankes lives. So homeward, and stopped again at Captain Allen's, and there 'light, and sent the coach and Gibson home, and I and Coney staid; and there comes to us Mrs. Jowles, who looks a very fine, proper lady, as most I know, and well dressed, after the French fashion, in the front open corsett. Here was also a gentleman, one Major Manly, and his wife, neighbours, who had brought their own daughter to play with Mrs. Jowles ; and here we staid, and drank, and talked, and set Coney and him to cards while Mrs. Jowles and I to talk, and there had all our old stories up, and there I had the liberty to check her often and in whichever manner I inclined, and had her pull off her modesty herself, where both her hand and otherwise mighty moist, and she mighty free in her opening to me, and je do not at all doubt that I might have had a most wonderfull amusement in her had I had time to have carried her to Cobham, as she, upon my proposing it, was very willing to go, for elle is a whore, that is certain, but a very brave and comely one, as is for the best. Here was also a pretty cozen of hers come in to supper along, come of a great fortune, she mighty pretty but had now such a cold, she could not speak, but pert and eager nevertheless, though I perceive over-ready to put herself over the other one. Here mightily pleased with Mrs. Jowles, and did get her through the door out into the street, and there to expose her breasts, and abased herself without any force, eager to any and all else, though it was not time nor place, though she did demonstrate her petit mort there in the publick street, her breast growing most red from cold. Here staid till almost twelve at night, and then with a lanthorn from thence walked over the fields, as dark as pitch, and mighty cold, and snow, to Chatham, and Mr. Coney with great kindness to me: and there all in bed before I come home, and so I presently to bed, therein finding it warm and pleasant scented, Mrs. Tooker having sent her eldest to prepare it to my liking which doth shew the skill and wisdom of that great woman, and so to sleep among that girls' warm bosom, almost larger than most any I ever saw in my life.
25th. Up, and by and by, about eight o'clock, come Rear-Admiral Kempthorne and seven Captains more, by the Duke of York's order, as we expected, to hold the Court-martiall about the loss of "The Defyance" ; and so presently we by boat to "The Charles", which lies over against Upnor Castle, and there we fell to the business ; and there I did manage the business, the Duke of York having, by special order, directed them to take the assistance of Commissioner Middleton and me, forasmuch as there might be need of advice in what relates to the government of the ships in harbour.
And so I did lay the law open to them, and rattle the Master Attendants out of their wits almost ; and made the triall last till seven at night, not eating a bit all the day for it, only when we had done examination, and I given my thoughts, namely that the neglect of the Gunner of the ship was as great as I thought any neglect could ever be, which then might by the law deserve of death, wherein Commissioner Middleton broke off and did declare for himself that he was against giving of sentence such. Thereupon we withdrew, as not being of the Court, and so left them to do what they pleased ; and, while they were debating it, the Boatswain of the ship did bring around to us two of their ship wenches, with old but very solid-looking leather straps about the wrists and ankles, with large brass rings inset, like I learn it is customary for such as them, but the straps very worn and smooth ; and they carried the one a piece of hot salt beef then out of the kettle, and the other some brown bread and brandy ; they being almost completely black as ever did in my life see in a negress, except in their mouth and otherwise as pink as any woman, which we made great sport of and the girls, who both spoke French the more and one Spanish, took a long while to understand the point of our jests but then fell in a-laughing like it was novell matter neither had ever heard of before or thought of in their life. So thereupon we did make a little meal, but so good as I never would desire to eat better meat while I live, only I would have cleaner dishes, and girles. But with much merryment, and by and by they had done, and called us down from the quarterdeck; and there we find they do sentence that the Gunner of "The Defyance" should stand upon "The Charles" three hours with his fault writ upon his breast, and with a halter about his neck, and so be made incapable of any office.
The truth is, the man do seem, and is, I believe, a good man; but his neglect, in trusting a girl to carry fire into his cabin, is not to be pardoned. This being done, we took boat and home; and there a good supper was ready for us, which had been meant our dinner. The Captains, desirous to be at London, went away presently for Gravesend, to get thither by this night's tide; and so we to supper, it having been a great windy and mighty cold, foul day ; and so after supper to bed, whereat my wife did eye me with raised brow and thereupon falling to sniffing my breeches inquired whether I had been with negress, and upon my recounting her the story of the ship girls she begged to be permitted, and I did bid her feast, which she did with great contentment, and so in her arms to sleep.