Tuesday October the 14th. Maryam and the women's talk about their traditions turned out to be completely bullshit, of course. As we were having breakfast a man came in, to fuck us.
I froze with my canape in my hand and my mouth open for it. If my mouth wasn't opened for it, it would have opened for him. I thought "He is going to kill me!" but I do not know why. He did not look angry, he did not look anything. He just looked. I felt like my life was ending out of me. We all kneeled, our faces down. He didn't move, he stood there, far above all of us. He was ordering us, to kill ourselves, silently. For him.
I dared to look at him. It was hard, my head did not want to move. I had to make it move. It took me a while. He looked at me. Everyone else faced the floor. I wanted to, with them. But I couldn't. I don't know why. He looked at me, but he didn't look like me, not at all like me at all. He looked like he was going to kill me. But why ? How ? And I did not want to die.
I said "Please do not kill us!" I cried out "Have mercy!" He said nothing, nothing at all. I whispered with tears running down my face, "Pitie! Pitie!" in French. I was so sorry I did not ask the women how do their birdsongs sing out for mercy, that I didn't learn it in Italian, please have mercy on ourselves!
I did not know I do not want to die before I met him. But I do not. I want to live his slave, not to die. I do. I never wanted to live so much before, not even when Psych put me on the racks I didn't really want to live, not like this. Not desperate, hopeless, hopeful, enslaved like this. My ankles hobbled together, invisible but forever. I am his. I am a thing of his, that he has many of, that all I want's to live being his thing of his. I am glad and I give thanks that he has many things like me. That way he doesn't have to care about me, he doesn't have to kill me, that way, the only way I may live to be his.
He asked "Are you my slaves ?" and I said "I am, your grace". Everyone murmured "I am, your grace" with me, then we said it out loud, together, "We are, your grace". I don't know why, I don't know how he made us do that, but he did. We had no choice and we didn't need to talk or arrange anything. He spouted it out of us just standing there, like a magnet makes the shavings dance. The Sun smiles far away in the sky, but all the flowers and all the leaves and all the little bugs and birds and every face turns to it. And then he didn't smile. He didn't frown, he didn't anything. He just stood there, and his face looked at us, and I really knew what that story meant. It didn't look like a lion, or like anything. It looked like everything, and at the same time everything.
Sylvia crawled to him. She didn't look at him, she nuzzled his knees, she took his clothes off of him, she kissed his manly rod that looked so round and full and I was so jealous of her. She whispered "May I be spanked, Master ?" and he kneeled next to her. She made a table, on her knees and elbows, right in front of him. She played and rolled her boobs over his beautiful round fulness under them with her hand. She wiggled her butt. He slapped her, and she Ow'd. Doll sat herself on her ass, her legs around my ass, her hands taking hold of mine. I opened slowly, my hands, my arms, my ankles, my thighs. Sylvia Ow'd again. sisi was trembling. Doll told dogslave to rub her bud, to make her pretty orgasm sounds. Sylvia Ow'd one more time, and dogslave sighed like she does when it begins for her.
Doll said "Come take what's yours out of her, Master" and he looked at me. I looked at him. I nodded and I looked at him. I whispered "Please". He came over me, as Doll held me open for him. He looked at me. I looked at him. I couldn't look away. I could hear Sylvia and dogslave both, moaning their moans, but I couldn't see anything besides his face. He caressed my hair away from my face. I burned inside. I knew I was forgiven. That I may live. That I'm his slave and he forgives me for being alive. It is ok because he says it is ok, and he says it's ok by his caress, and that's ok. Mineral water, sparkling, flooded my belly. I felt him, his round, full, happy him touch me right under my little bud, like a kiss. I wanted him to hurt me so much! He looked at me.
I whispered "Please Master, please hurt me with my slave's blood on you. Please." He looked at me. I grabbed sisi by the hand, I pulled her to me, I pulled her over me, to straddle me. She had her ass to him, she looked scared at me. I couldn't see him anymore, but she could see him still in me. I reached behind and touched his magic in my hand for the first time. It tingled. I lined it up for him. He thrust into her hard, I felt her pretty, heavy boobs bounce over mine. I kissed her scream out of her. She cried. I lifted my legs up, for him. Doll let go of my hands and grabbed me by the ankles. sisi wiggled herself up, trapping my legs under hers, sitting her bloody cunt on my belly. He pushed himself in me slowly, so, so slowly. I think it hurts more that way. I think he wanted to hurt me the most. He pushed through my skin and made my hole in me slowly, forever, hurting me bad and ever worse and worse. sisi smothered me with her boobs, Doll hugged me with her elbows, holding me, keeping me stuck for him. They both did, between their bodies and in their embrace I was helpless and hurt. I felt dogslave kiss my right hand on the floor, and then suckling my thumb.
After he tore me he stopped, and pushed sisi away. She curled herself around my left hand, on the floor. She cried on it, she rubbed her hair and her face with it, by herself. He bent over me and kissed my mouth. Doll let go of me. She let go of my legs, I wrapped them around him tight, so tight. Doll let go of me, moved away from under me. I could hear her moan too, with Sylvia and dogslave, as he fucked the hell out of me. He pounded and pounded me, it hurt and it stung at first. Then I felt my joy raise from inside, from deep inside where he hurt me and he pounded me heavy, again and again. It was like a little spark that flattens and grows, like melted metal spreading itself everywhere. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him in his mouth as far as I could reach and further still. I knew when he was done, I could feel my new hole squeezing him in the way he was squeezing himself inside of me. At the same time, I squeezed like he squeezed, no space between us, not me pushing him not him pulling me, just both independently the same thing. Like a dance of him and me inside of me, a squeezing of a squeeze, to fill me with his cum, the part of me inside bashing itself crazy against the tip of him.
He came out of me, and was on his knees, drawing his breath. Doll bent over me, and kissed his tip, his blood red tip with white streaks on it, and then she lapped inside of me. dogslave crawled over, and she kissed his tip, that Doll just kissed, and then she lapped inside of me too. Sylvia crawled over, and licked his balls from the side, where blood and cum dripped, and then she lapped inside of me. sisi sniffled and she sat on my face. I kissed her bloodied cunt, and licked inside, like the twins had said. She pulled my legs in, and kissed me, and licked inside. He wasn't panting anymore, and when sisi got off of me I could see Doll and Sylvia on either side of him, kissing each other around his rod that he had used on me. It quivered and spat out more cum, all over me. They licked their lips, and put their faces on his feet, behind. dogslave licked it all off of me. I sniffled "Hey!" and she kissed me with it, so I'm not left without tasting the taste of it. I put my hand in some and rubbed it on my cheek, then I rubbed it on my bud, and made myself have it against my will. It was so deep!
Doll purred and asked "Are you satisfied with your slaves, Master ?" He laughed, for the first time he laughed, the best laugh that I ever heard. Then he said "You're perfect, whores" though Doll says he said "You're perfect whores" which is different, if he said like that. But I do not believe so. Then he left. We were left behind, crumpled on the floor, like that one day. But this made me so happy, I felt for the first time since I can remember complete. Full and ok, and like I should be.
We just lay there, for the longest time. Nobody said anything. sisi was sniffling and crying softly. dogslave was making herself have it over and over again, but then she stopped. She can have it forever, but eventually it has to stop. She always stops, eventually. Sylvia stopped first, then Doll, and then at last dogslave. It was quiet. We were dead. I said "I am dead now." Doll looked at me, and I told her "I'm dead, Doll". She grabbed my head to her chest and whispered softly, "We all are, Princess. We're all dead." Suddenly a scare came all over me, everywhere. I started and I looked at her. "What do you think he'd like for us to do ?" She patted my hair, and she said "He'd like us to wash, and talk, and be happy for him."
We all hugged in the shower, it's so tight if it's with all of us that nobody can really move. We just poured soap on each other, by the shoulders and the neck. It lathered itself between our bodies, seeping down as we moved and rubbed together. sisi wasn't bleeding anymore, but I still was. I bled a lot. They kissed it better, first Doll and Sylvia, then they kissed my mouth while dogslave licked at my hurt. Her tongue inside me stung, and I could taste the most strongest cum from Doll. She says it is just blood, Princess, but really it's true cum.
Then we got out and hung around my bed. I sat on a small towel until my bleeding stopped. Doll sat next to me and I leaned in on her, sisi laid herself flat on the other side. Sylvia sat on the floor, with dogslave, at my feet. Sylvia rubbed them softly in her hands and dogslave kissed my toes a little bit, now and again. "Why are we here ?" I asked myself. "I'm here because I fell in love with Doll" said Sylvia. "You brought me here, Princess", sisi said. "I'm here because when I met you I died, just like you died, Babydoll" said Doll, and then dogslave said Ruff! Ruff! meaning she's here because she's my puppydog, and puppydogs follow you everywhere you go. "We're all here because of me", I said, but Sylvia answered "We're all here with you, Princess. We are together, with you." I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to. I asked them "Can you still love me ? Now that I'm dead ?" Nobody said anything. "I'm dead", I said, "He's killed me. I'm dead by him. For him." But Doll said "so are we" and sisi rolled on top of me and hugged me tight crying and kissed my mouth. "He's scary, isn't he." asked Sylvia, and dogslave said he looks like he has a lion's head. She's seen the same as me! sisi held my head and nodded her head at me, facing me, her eyes in my eyes. She whispered "Will he eat us ?" and Doll said "He looks so fierce, doesn't he." but I said "He's not angry" and Sylvia said no, not yet.
Will he be angry ? Will he be angry at me, at us ? We'd better not make him angry. What would he want ? I asked what they thought, and sisi said he wants us to be fat and round and juicy, for when he decides to eat us. I asked Doll if he's going to eat us and she said "I don't know." but Sylvia said "He looks like he could" and I said it's just like in the story, isn't it! But they didn't know the story with the lion head, so I brought out my journal and I read it out to them. They liked it very much, although they never read it before, not even Doll. I said to her "Oh silly Doll, it's from your book!" but she said she never reached that far yet, and it is true because I did not start from the beginning, I just opened the book at any page it wanted to open itself. It's a really thick book. We talked about it, though, and we agreed it's not the same, because there isn't just one of us, and because nobody dreamed of a merchant guy, I asked everyone and they all said no. And we would never be lonely because we're together, and we love each other and we'll all give ourselves to him. Together. Then Sylvia said "and then the children will come". I was like "wut" but Doll asked me if I will ask my Master to give me children ?
It's true, you know, even if I'm little I could caress and comfort his small babies inside of me. And then they would come out, like in that drawing of puppydog, but they wouldn't be small puppies, they'd be small lions probably. Maybe they wouldn't even wait to be hatched out normally, maybe they'll scratch at me from inside of myself and come out that way, leaving a hole in my body behind, a new hole leading to where they were, where they started from. Maybe they'd eat me from inside, for him, and there'd be nothing left, just the skin. They could fill my empty skin with oats and hay and set it down and point and laugh at me, but I wouldn't be there anymore, because I'd be inside of them, all inside of them but not knowing myself anymore. Maybe they'd tear me apart from myself and leave just the skin behind to look like there once was a Babydoll.
Doll asked me if I would and I said I don't know, I'll have to ask the Master what to want. I asked her if she wants to make her own Babydoll, but she said she only wants it if I do. She said if I want it she wants to swell up in the same time with me, and hold my hand. But Sylvia said she doesn't want babies at all and dogslave grabbed her by the hand and didn't say anything but I think she didn't want to either. sisi just cried quietly and caressed my arm and I think she wanted to make lots of babies that eat her from inside until she's gone in them. I said I'll do whatever it is that he wants me to, and we all have to. I said we have to all promise and swear that we will do exactly as he wants us to, and I held out my hand. sisi put hers on mine, and then Doll, and then dogslave lowered her face and head way down low and reached with her hand upwards, towards us, so I grabbed her pretty black paw into my hand, under sisi and Doll's hands, and mine. We'll crush you into goodness, puppydog! Sylvia just looked at us, her eyes thickened with big tears that wouldn't drop. I said "Please Sylvia, we're slaves, we have to" but she didn't say anything. We looked at her like she looked at us, and then Doll said "Please, love. Do it for me." and Sylvia's tears came out, because she grabbed herself by her own hair with the left and pulled herself hard, moving her head from behind. She reached on Doll's hand with her other hand, and I kissed it when it settled down.
We're all His slaves, we've agreed, my Master and their Master too, we'll serve Him together, the Great One. The Greatest One, that hurts inside and kills and maybe one day eats us, too, the great lion head guy of the end. I wanted to sing a song about it, but I don't know any songs. I have to learn some songs. We all do. Then he came in! He had Maryam and the others with him too, and he was dressed in a different thing from the last time, it's very weird what he wears like a sort of bahtrobe really but not made out of towel like normal bathrobes and it is with clinging and wrappings around and he doesn't have a normal hat but a sort of scarf on his head. You can see his beard, and his face, but you can't see his rod when he is dressed like that. I wish I could see it though, I wanted like a burn to see it again, like a wasp's sting into mouth's lips I wanted to see what makes slaves of little girls like me.
He asked very loud "Who's hungry ?" and sisi opened her eyes big and wide and said "You are, Master ?" and I could tell she thinks the time has come, he's hungry and he shall eat us now for lunch. I said, "We're starving for your company Great One" and the women dressed us and we all went out to eat! Together, we were with just him, six people at our table, one person and five slaves. I told him while we were eating soup that sisi didn't mean to be cheeky, but she thought he looked just like a lion, and she thought for some reason he is going to eat us, like a lion. And she thought he's making a joke because he is hungry and he will eat us, isn't that right sisi ?
She blushed and nodded, and he laughed his great laugh and said that is the greatest thing, the pretty slave mistaking him for a lion, because a long time ago, when he was young, just a small boy even younger than us, maybe only five or six years of age which is how he says "years old", he says "years of age" and I think it is better to say it that way because that's how he says it, his Father the king told them not to go into the lion's cage, because they had received a large and scary lion from far away to live in the palace. And his older brother told him and his other brothers that they're cowards and little chicken shits because they don't dare go in the lion's cage, though their Father told them not to and the lion might eat them. All night the little Prince tossed and turned in his bed, and then he went down to where the lion was, and opened up the cage, and went inside! He gave the lion a great big hug, and the lion put his big soft paw around his neck and slobbered all over him and then they went to sleep together, until they found them in the morning!
I asked him why did he do that, why did he go inside the cage ? Did he not think the lion will kill him ? He told me he thought the lion will kill him for sure, but that is why he tossed and turned, because it's even worse if the lion didn't kill him because he didn't go. Then his older brother will be right, and that is much worse than being dead. He said the reason it's the greatest thing, sisi mistaking him for a lion, is that he never felt that way since then, except when he came into our room. All night he tossed and turned, but then he came, in the cage with the scary lions that we are, because it's okay if we kill him, why shouldn't it be.
Doll was all pale, and Sylvia had her mouth open to her knees, and dogslave hid under the table, I could feel her wiggling my toes with her fingers. I said Great One, it's not just sisi that thought you were a lion. We all did. You looked to us, to each and every all of us the same, like a big guy with a lion head that's come to eat us. And when you left, you left us all crumpled on the floor and we were dead. He was very surprised, and he said this is like in the poets of old, because we thought of him the same as he thought of us, and I asked him if he knew the story of the merchant guy on the island and he said he did! And then he told it to us, but it was a little different from how I wrote it down because as he told it after the lion guy found the merchant guy and killed him and ate his liver and left his body to be eaten by the vultures and the crabs on the beach he forced himself into the beautiful girl, although she cried and cried and begged him not to, but he did it anyway, and every night, and it made her pregnant which is when his baby is growing inside of her, and then she gave birth to a baby boy but he looked just like the merchant guy! Only littler but the same, except for the clothes of course but in the face and everything.
So the lion guy ate the little baby! And the pretty girl fell asleep, she moved around in their fane that they had on the island but with her eyes closed, and she still ate and drank but she did not speak or sing anymore. And the lion guy forced himself into her every night, and she was pregnant many times but every time the baby boy that she had looked just like the dead merchant guy exactly, and the lion guy ate it the same night that it came out of her, and the years passed and went by until the girl was old and the lion guy never came to her anymore, and she wanted to sing again about how lonely she is but she couldn't anymore, because she was quiet and never spoke for so long a time she couldn't remember how to speak or sing anymore. So she went and lay down where the merchant guy's body was long ago, and the crabs were clicking their pincers and the vultures circled above and there she died.
We said this is an even sadder story from before, and he said that is the true inheritance of his people, that their stories are the saddest stories of all the stories in all the lands, and their water is the bitterest water of all the waters in the whole wide world. But I told him we talked about it, and it must be a different story because it's true that he looked that way to all of us at first, but we don't dream of any merchants like that girl, nor ever have, and we love him and we're his slaves. He said that makes him glad, and then I asked him if he wants to give me babies ? Because, I told him, we talked about it too, and we are all agreed that it is up to him and we will do as he pleases but if he wants me to have babies we please may all have them and be swolled up at the same time and hold our hands together ?
To that he said little Princess, it's not your time yet to have babies, you are a baby still yourself. And he said to me that what he wants is for us to be happy together and for me and dogslave and sisi to grow up into ourselves, and be young women like Doll and Sylvia are, and that it won't be long, just a few years which to us is like endless forever, of course, but it is really not that long and we'll be young women with Sylvia and Doll together and we can all be lovers truly and have the greatest and best time of this life, short as it is for everyone but longer by a hair for women.
We all said it's a splendid idea, because anything he wants us to do is the best for us, and besides Doll said we've all been trying too hard at this slavery thing and it is great but even great things can be too much, and Sylvia smiled, and I will do exactly what he tells me to.
Ok I'm gonna go be a kid now. Bye!