Our everyday rape

This is a translation of Violul nostru cel de toate zilele, which substitutes rape for bread in the original christic prayer, "give us this day our daily bread". The formula is disused in Romanian, and consequently stands out. The whole original text uses somewhat antiquated forms, which stylistical mastery is broadly untranslatable, but you will perhaps note that the prayer is addressed to their Daddy.

I have a confession to make. In my household there are enshrined through tradition two manners of carnal copulation between man (which, to be very clear, means me) and woman (which there are), conventionally known as "fuckingⁱ" and "rape".

When it's with fucking, in general things occur of the nature that sane people (which we are not, to lay it plain, neither me nor the girls) would probably call hardcore, animalic, hot sex, things. It's not an absolute rule, sometimes fucking is consummated in quiet laziness, on the rythms of an old rocking chair while water dropplets make their way slowly on the outer wall of a misty carafeⁱⁱ half filled with lemonade. But generally speaking it's effervescent enough to startle the streetwalkers.

When it's with rape, however, all the dice are cast, quoth Caesar. It's not a matter of handcuffs, ropes, beatings and such (which are a different species of the dramatic genre) but it is with chasings and drubbins of the stiffest persuasion. It's a sort of full contact sport, practically speaking, the speed and the force of the two participants being seriously put to the test. A sort of wrestling, if you must look for a comparable, being that here the result is also known aforehand (after all she also wants my penis inside, or else she wouldn't have been poking herself into me going "aren't you gonna rape me, pleeeeeeeeze?" like a kitten in estrusⁱⁱⁱ).

As such, I think we're the troop of civillians that best understand the thematic considerations of rape in its practical development. The girls are without a doubt the best informed when it comes to concrete rape of all birdie bearers, given they participate with some regularity. I've recounted all this, I must point out, not out of a sort of livresque exhibitionism, nor out of the perverse pleasure of turning you on while bothering you with my assorted superiorities, perceived by you as such even though they're no big deal.

And now, to proceed to the matter at hand : I can't always manage. At least two of the dozen-plus girls with which I've practiced this amusement at least somewhat for a lengthier period can escape if they wish to escape. Another three-four-five can escape if they wish to escape and get lucky to a variable degree. This means to say that I could rape in the correct and common sense of the term about a woman out of two, from among those who are in consideration.

I'm a young man, I'm in fine physical shape, I carry on the whole body about a spoonfull worth of fat if you were to gather it all together^iv. On top of all that, I enjoy some further, and considerable, advantages. First of all, the girls wear no knickers, nor anything else whatsoever between the legs. The rule demands the cunt be aerated, and it is obeyed. Secondly, I'm not below tackling a zgitie^v in the cleanest rugby style if she pisses me off. I've none of those "don't hit girls" complexes, on the contrary, I'll smack them like potato sacks. You know the English bon mot "It's only funny 'till someone loses an eye. Then, it's hysterical." Something like that.

Nevertheless, I could manage to rape, without aid from the object of my affections, about a woman in two, irl. In domestic practice I generally enlist hounds, "hey, come help me catch that one". If there's two of us hounding the balance inclines and absolutely nobody has any chances of making it away, because we work well as a team, me and my girls. As you would expect, after all. Sometimes I'll enlist the whole herd to aid with a sufficiently hybric slut. Sort-of like it works for goats, come to think of it.

Therefore, you can imagine the shock and consternation laid upon us when one of the girls brought to public knowledge the wonder :

He raped three women on the Zorilor-Manastur road.^vi

Hang on, brother, there's problems afoot. So, the majority of women do not wear skirts, but trousers. Denim trousers. The majority of women are the sort of bores that wear bloomers. How the trunk of god almighty did this dude rape three women when I can barely manage one out of two and even then with help ?! General consternation. Scandal, agitation and anarchy, "that's it Mr. P, we're leaving you and going to find that guy", listen to them the rags, after I picked them out from the street, forcibly, after I've beaten them like my own children, after I've undressed and starved and educated them this is the ungratitude I'm being offered! We live in a world without morals and without principles, my lords!

Finally, one of the more creative sluts came up with a possible solution : maybe they were triplets. Which is to say, the man raped a single blob with six legs and three cunts on its surface, which legally speaking was approximated as three women but in practice looks more like an exercise ball on which someone randomly sprinkled limbs, mouths and lips.

I breathe easier (see my dears, that's why it's good to keep multiple women, because even if the whole troop lays siege upon you with revolutionary ideas you'll still find one to help, and one's enough, no more is needed) but this opens a very great theoretical problem.

I'll confess we've sat in conversation until early night with the two of them who are qualified in the profession of law (or whatever, only one's a lawyer, the other's but a student being a goatling yet, but we take her in consideration as an adult because she's not a child, and so she may speak in the forum, ok ?) to establish a simple point : what chances has a defense of raping just once when you in fact raped three legal persons in one physical body ?

And, of course, what kind of impression would such an approach create in the judge, the district attorney, the legal profession as well as the press. Plus comparative study between civil and common law systems, not to mention other considerations connected as well as historical. After which we went and had sex.

That'd be about it. But still... The problem, it remains.

1. Ah, I forgot to warn, apparently. Yes, dear reader, this article is with words. If you don't like for it to be with words, the blogosphere (which there is) will offer a large palette of alternative articles with images, moving or standing still. I'm just saying. [↩]
2. If the Jeremy Irons / Nabokov reference wasn't clear you're probably underage and should go play more Larry. [↩]
3. This given as example. [↩]
4. Ah, ou sont les nieges.... [↩]
5. The Romanian word has no known etymology. It denotes in the direct a snake (in the antiquated sense of dragon, devil) and in the (almost always used) figurative a young and very active woman, with great muscular tonus etc. [↩]
6. At the time this was a rather rural walkway going in between two neighbourhoods. It crossed a "forest" (Agronomical Institute experimental plantation) etcetera. [↩]