No Such lAbs (S.NSA), December 2016 Statement

Wednesday, 04 January, Year 9 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu
S.NSA incoming and outgoing
Incoming Outgoing
Description Value Description Value
FUCKGOATS salesi 2.50420466 256 GB ECC RAM box 0.83568442
2.50420466 Clerical expensesii 0.2956039
Total 2.50420466 Total 1.13128832
    S.NSA assets
    Account 01.12.2016 Net change 31.12.2016
    Cash 436.66159337 1.37291634 438.03450971
    Tangibles 13.63795811 5.4329iii 8.20505811
    Intangibles and goodwill 22.46053352 4.56413755iv 27.02467107
    Total assets 473.26423889
    S.NSA liabilities
    Account 01.12.2016 Net change 31.12.2016
    Shareholder equity 472.76008500 0.50415389v 473.26423889
    Total liabilities 473.26423889

      S.NSA has a total of 4`737`075 authorised shares outstanding. The total assets per share implied value is thus 0.00009990 BTC. The cash+tangible assets per share implied value is thus 0.00009420 BTC.

      S.NSA realised 2.50420466 BTC in operating revenue this period, but it is altogether unclear what that does for P/E.

      S.NSA has Special Stock Warrants outstanding issued as per the IPO agreement, as follows :

      # Fingerprint Shares BTC Par
      1 17215D118B7239507FAFED98B98228A001ABFFC7 3`315`952 331.5952 1
      2 6160E1CAC8A3C52966FD76998A736F0E2FB7B452 1`421`122 142.1122 1
      T 4`737`074 473.7074 1


        We have a number of outstanding orders as well as a second run underway, on which basis we expectvi to flush the queue by the end of the month.

        NSA will continue its work, designing and manufacturing the future of the Republic. In the meantime, remember - if you are running a machine without FUCKGOATS, you are running an incomplete machine.

        1. Mwahahaha! Can you beliebe it? []
        2. We spent about $200 buying packaging materials, antistatic bags, that sort of thing. We further ate about $100 in shipment fees as disguised marketing expenditure, call it goodwill if you will. []
        3. It is true, we spent in excess of 5 BTC in materials to realize less than half that in sales proceeds. TMSR, the place where business works backwards!

          In all seriousness, activity was deliberately structured in this way with a view to supporting scaling up of production. We did not expect to realize a profit on the final prototyping run, and we did build the capacity of spinning up production to proper levels (which, for a piece like FUCKGOATS, is somewhere in the six digit units runs). Not entirely unexpectedly, however, the world outside of the Republic's gates showed itself once more entirely dedicated to pretending that lichen's greener than grass, and fully devoted to its hopeless ways. Consequently, we won't be doing a proper run of these, even as we retain the capacity to do so.

          We will however maintain the item in production, to serve the needs of the few actual humans today found on planet Earth. Prototyping runs are sadly a lot more expensive than production runs, for which reason the sale price of FUCKGOATS is going to go up to 4.95 Bitcents from now on.

          We are also withdrawing the "bulk" order from the form. Businessmen interested in becoming resellers of this (and other No Such lAbs items in the future) are encouraged to make contact in the usual way ; we will consider a well structured, mutually beneficial agreement.

          Congrats to the winners! []

        4. Other than the usual cost of maintaining the Phuctor server, this period's figure also includes various customer sweeteners. See Patrick McKenzie for an explanation as to how this works. []
        5. Note that most of this gain is of the illiquid variety. []
        6. It is not guaranteed, seeing how electronics do sometimes turn out dud. []
        Category: S.NSA
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        3 Responses

        1. Woe be the boy who thought the price of FUCKGOATS would go down to compensate for the deteriorating dollar. Had he forgotten MPEx ? Did he not think history capable of repeating itself ?

          Congrats on making some sales!

        2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
          Mircea Popescu 
          Wednesday, 4 January 2017

          History is very apt to repeat itself!


        1. [...] bought out the first batch of FUCKGOATS. I didn’t buy them with the intention to resell, but the latest No Such lAbs statement inspired a change of plans. The price is 4.5 million satoshi per unit,i plus a shipping charge of [...]

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