How to be a pimp - the simple, comprehensible and exhaustive guide

Since people seem to copy and apply my stuff without as much as putting out a trifle of a link on the tit of the misfortunate being discussed (as it'd be expected and in good taste), what occurs to me ? Let's insist in the same vein, by putting at the disposition of the interested public a guide which will allow the last among the scrubs to be a pimp and consequently not have to personally work another day in his life. And when all the scrubs will be pimps, let the suckers wash their head with them thenⁱ and deeply regret they didn't link out to me when they should have had -- the moral of the whole story being that "don't fuck with the guy who can blow up the barriers to entry of your bullshitⁱⁱ pseudo-business if you wish to soup tomorrow", but let us not anticipate.

There are three and only three reasons for which women submit to men. One is sex, the second is fear, and the third is stupidity. There are no others. Fart-based theories about feelings (perhaps in the form preferred by the middle-low class, what with "mutual respectⁱⁱⁱ" ; or even more amusingly in the form favoured by the aspirational class, "joint future & plans" and other hallucinations^iv copied by Vogue Romania after some older editions of Vogue^v) are exactly that : shit gas. "Sentiments"^vi are ulterior outgrowths (which flower generally on the root of sex, but not necessarily). To propose their primacy is to suppose the flower and not the root is what matters. Get fucked, a flower separated from its root will die in a coupla days, a root bereft of its flowers will make others in a coupla weeks.^vii

As we've already established she is going to be a whore, it is not practical to imagine you'll subdue her sexually. What the dick will you do to her, she comes home after six hours' drubbing with twenty dudes and you... take her rabidly ? And she'll be so extatic at this treatment she will... streetwalk all over again tomorrow, and all the while, bent over in an alley for various, shorter dicks or longer dicks, competent men or family men, she will be thinking of naught but the monstrous fucking she's in for when she gets back home ? I... don't think so. You may try, but it's not seen.

Practically speaking, there's fear and stupidity left. This time around we'll discuss fear, stupidity to be left for a later article because it's a broad topic.

The thing with fear goes something like this : woman beaten sufficiently and well goes into a passive state in which she is dutiful, obedient and submissive. This quality is otherwise not reserved to womanhoon : man also, beaten sufficiently and well goes into the same exact state. It has naught to do with individuals, it's the barest and simplest physiology of the human psyche, which isn't built for individual well-being nor for satisfying the expectations of life and world imagined by whatever Jessica or Jennifer, but it is built for one, single purpose : survial and reproduction. Which are two purposes. So two unique purposes : survival, reproduction, and buying shit. Three! Three unique purposes!

The only individual variation is how much of a beating is needed the first time. In rare, extremely rare cases you have to beat the individual more than he^viii can physically take, so the most you'll manage is to kill it, which makes simply ignoring it the cheaper alternative. But don't imagine exceptionalisms about how "oh noes, I'm that one in a million that's gotta be beaten to death". No chance of that, the sort of braves in their own head generally overcompensate, which is why they think themselves so brave, and in practice crack^ix first.

So then. After this lengthy preamble, concretely and by steps, the strat :

1. Kidnap the girl. It dun matter how, lure her who knows where with empty promises of employment like those dorks with the tattoos^x, pick her off the street a la voltige^xi, get her drunk at who knows what corporate^xii party and stick her in the trunk, whatever. If it comes to it you can pick her directly off o puteti lua direct her own wedding, for maximal trollage.^xiii
2. Sequester her. The whole point is solitude. Whether you take her to a cave, a forest, an abandoned house or anywhere else, as long as she can't escape [herself] it's good enough. In extremis simple confiscation of identity papers works in this vein, and now you understand why the pig takes your paperwork : exactly for this reason, you're being re-educated towards whoredom. Congratulations, you're starting to understand how the empire works, this slow moving rape.
3. First beating. She must be beaten well, for hours, not until she faints but until her tonus^xiv drops. With a little experience you'll learn to recognize the moment when any notions of individuation and other maggots in her head flew away and the process of resocialisation in a role more productive (for the pimp) may begin.
4. Resocialisation. The newborn whore must spend her time only in the company of other whores, and preferably some trustworthy girls you can rely on. She will re-learn her social role (because that's how people live, following scores like mechanical pianos, which can be changed, why not). Keep her on a "beginner" regimen (lotta beating, not much food, inferiority in the group) until she desires for herself and of herself to progress to the status of full whore, a favor which you might generously concede just as soon as she seems honest and ready.
5. Reminder. The newly minted whore must be beaten periodically to reactivate the mechanisms that subdued her in the first place. Depending on the individual the needed reminder beatings may be more or less intensive and frequent, but do mind the dosage because that's how runaways occur, when they do. Bear in mind it's better to beat her too much than too little.

There you go, that's the whole story. Even if an average streetwalker makes rather little, nevertheless a competent pimp with two or three aides selected from the whore herd can beat properly maybe three a week, and ensure the needed reminder for at least another 10-20, deeming he works eight hours a day like a normal person. If the average stay is six months and the reminder interval three weeks it then follows herds of up to a hundred whores may be kept as a theoretical maximum. Field values are generally under fifty.

Evaluating the daily net production of each to a hundred dollars (which is probably somewhat exaggerated^xv, but whatever) the pimp can dispose of about a hundred thousand dollars a month, to cover security and other costs. This may seem like a lot of money for the kiddos who are intelligent enough to reach competence in this occupation and also sufficiently uneducated to lack more productive alternative fields in which to apply that intelligence. Fortunately this class is rather narrow, practically speaking prostitution through violence is the sexworld equivalent of Internet spam : a minor inconvenience caused by the early travellers of that inexorable path connecting a woman's uterus to the death row.

I hope I was of service, and if not I hope at least you've learned a thing or two from my own experience, so there's less need of new experiments to be applied to fresh flesh. It's a pity to waste the girls.

I hope, but I've no illusions.

1. Romanian expression, "wash your head with it!", approximately equivalent to "blow it out your ass", except for things rather than words. [↩]
2. The Romanian "cacastecherita", a word I did not invent but apparently own as far as google is concerned, is composed of three parts. Stecher is how you say socket in Romanian, especially wrt electric couplings. Caca denotes fecal matter, and thereby cacastecher would be the fecal matter socket. This aggregation, which is not by itself meaningful in the English sense (it's not to be encountered on prepared "lists of words") but nevertheless is directly comprehensible in sane languages (because of flexion and composition) then acquires the feminine diminutive : fata, fetita, cacastecher, cacastecherita. So it'd be the "electric shit socket of little girls". To be perfectly clear : when I say English sucks, I don't mean something vague, or difficult to explain. I mean something very concrete and very easy to explain : there is no way for you to say "that electric shit socket of little girls of a business of yours" in one word, neatly and clearly.

   And to think you think you have stand-up comedians! [↩]

3. See, clasically, "io te stimo moltissimo". [↩]
4. The original uses English as a cum rag, in the sense of taking the English word "commitment", which does not exist nor is comprehensible in Romanian (strictu sensu it'd be a misspelling of something to do with earlship, as comite is earl in Romanian and -ment "which does something in the vein or of the nature of ~", much like -ship) and putting it in a Romanian gramatical form. This suggests that something has been swallowed undigested and placed in improper context, which is exactly the case. [↩]
5. Found by dazed and confused kiddies in the outhouse and misappropriated for reading instead of the more obvious function. [↩]
6. Originally, "the sentiments of Fish". This is the Romanian convention for mocking a concept (and its proponents) : add "of Fish" to it. On the lowest level it denotes exasperation in the speaker with the uncomprehending but insistent manner of the proponent ; and it picks up from there.

   Nor is this the only convention available for this signal. You could say "of life", for instance, as in "Ce masina vietii ii aia!", "What the life's car is that!" to vocative a clunker. You could say "of your mother", a ma-tii, to denote particular effrontery towards the individual rather than the concept such as in "ce omleta ma-tii ii aia!", "what your mother's omelette is that!" if displeased with the cook's work. Or as in you know, "pizda ma-tii", literally your mother's cunt. Aha! Now we start to really understand why I say English is a joke of a language intended for discussing things with one's dogs! Because in real languages, which have fully developed signalling trees, the interpretation of any text becomes a matter of choosing which among a whole set of competing, ambiguous structures of sense to follow! Who could have fucking predicted!

   And to think you think you have stand-up comedians! [↩]

7. And here we have ample opportunity to deeply stick the well salted blade in the pre-existing wound : there is no such thing as that woman which simultaneously a) is well fucked and b) cheat. There doesn't exist such wonder today as there hasn't existed such wonder from the invention of the world nor will ever exist. Woman cheats for the dude that fucks her well and that's it. Aside from this, stories and superstitions : if she's cheating on you, you're impotent. And everyone knows. [↩]
8. No, not she. She has more sense than this, and besides some eggs to lay, fuck you. I mean that literally. [↩]
9. Romanian has a reflexive. There's a difference between "crapa" (cracks) and "se crapa", (cracks "itself"). It happens to be relevant here. [↩]
10. This was at the time a reference to some contemporary criminal case. I didn't bother to note it down and by now it's lost in the dusts of history. [↩]
11. Without stopping the horse, however you say this in English. [↩]
12. In Romanian the feminine of coporate, corporatista, denotes a specific sort of girly everyone in the third world well knows : the 20something "receptionist" of a "multinational" (ie, foreign, ie, moneyed) company. Who is pursuing a career. Etcetera.

    Kink.com did a special on her, look for Bound Gangbangs volume 12403, Skylar Price takes part in a party. [↩]

13. As you perhaps intuit, once this first step implemented you've earned for yourself that ancient distinction of hostis humani generis as the Latins called it, which is to say public enemies. As a result you might expect things not working well for you on the long term.

    In particular in some juristictions (such as the US) which imagine themselves "hard on" (as opposed to hardon) with kidnapping and rape (and therefore efficient when it comes to combatting them), it is advisable to kill the girls rather than let them go, or risk one escaping or being found, given the punishment for murder is just the same, but murder's slightly more difficult to prove seeing as how the object's silenced. As such you might consider implementing a process flow for corpse disposal and not keep a girl around for more than a few months or something. Behold the fabulous advantages of harsh criminal prosecution for the victims of the various infractions!

    No, really, think about this : your sixteen year old is abducted on her way home, spends the next week chained to a pipe in a basement being fucked by a bunch of dudes and some dogs. At the end of the week (nine days, whatever), she is to be disposed of. Now then : in world A, where the punishment is six months or a $500 dollar fine, you get her dumped on your front lawn ; in world B, where the punishment for innocently grabbing ass is losing your job and ~everthying else is life in prison (as fucking if), you get to identify the body. Would you, a responsible and loving father, prefer the male state which makes no promises and offers no guarantees, or the female state which makes all the promises you'd like you to make and offers the strict guarantee that once lost, your daughter will only ever show up as a body to identify if she ever shows up again ?

    Work this out as an exercise : what relative ratios of incidence would you need in order to sell yourself on the idea you prefer B ? 100:1 ? 1.1:1 ? what is it ?

    Once you have a number, do compare the incidence ratios across jurisdictions. How often are women kidnapped and fucked liberally in those places where nobody gives a shit, versus in those places where dorks like you make a huge deal out of it ? Oh, right, because cunt is overabundant and nobody can be bothered, I forgot, and besides who could have predicted. [↩]

14. Muscular tonus, the muscular excitation at rest. Look it up. [↩]
15. No, I know you're delusional. Consider for instance Tangerine, it's much closer to reality than your own imagination. [↩]