And don't go around upgrading the Testaments, either.

Saturday, 27 May, Year 9 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

It can't escape the notice of anyone with two neurons to rub together what sort of rank nonsense that so called "new testament" is ; nor will they encounter much difficulty in guessing exactly how it came to be, and why.

After a long while during which the Torah followers played approximately the role of these days' Afghani, bothering the inventors of mapmaking immensely and constituting the only culture to impress the Romans other than by force of armsii, an interest in "Eastern Wisdom" became fashionable amongst the outskirts of a dying empire, as it is always the case.

This newfound manner of vicarious living produced forthwith a whole legion of anonymous implementations of madam Blavatskyiii, dead set on "improving" the original texts. Bowdlerizing does not do the idiocy justice, it's not sufficiently negative a term by very far. This pictogram would be a better illustration of what happened there :

cina-cea-de-lol

The wrathful god of the Jews grew up, don't you know, in the manner idle old women imagine this "growing up" goes. He's no longer wrathful, nao. He's got a wife and a child, presumably also a dog, makes mortgage payments "like everyone", presumably clips coupons and is on the lookout for vacation deals and life insurance policies. Besides, properly speaking he's mostly retired, letting some schmuck, putatively "his son" do most of the talking. From ordering Jacob to fuck his own son in the ass to permitting Jesus to scour the very hell -- quite a... modernization ? Evolution ? What is the proper word for this "progress" ?

The edulcoratediv nonsense did catch on splendidly among the stupid poor, of course, which in due time became the very predicate of the whole concoction. It was no longer a case of the god of the Torah, who will deliver your enemies to you, and rain frogs and dismembered sons on Pharoh. It was now the god of the Useless Old Woman, getting you likes and upvotes from rats and cockroaches. Who wouldn't prefer the upboat god to the disembowled-xenomorph god ?!

Me, that's who. Little ol' me.

PS. The Coran is a better... rendition, let's call it, of the Torah than the Christian crap could ever hope to be.

———
  1. Place where empires go to die ; look it up. []
  2. No, the Greeks did not impress the Romans. As far as the latter were concerned, conquering Hellada was akin to conquering the Frisco bay area, "what the fuck is with all these transvestites and why the fuck do they imagine we'll be giving them free money / buy their '''art'''". That's a direct quote. []
  3. For the record, the nonsense of "Theosophism" and related gargle is very much Feminism 0.1. It's not just Blavatsky, either, but a whole laundry list of idle, mentally stunted, tedious old women -- Constance Goergina Louise de Bourbel de Montpincon, Maria de Mariategui, Annie Kingsford (early PETA activist, vegan etcetera -- meritedly obscure for a century but rediscovered recently by her kindred sisters), Anna Ballard, Jennie Owen, Annie Besant (weathergirl for both Fabian Society and Marxist Social Democratic Federation ; then adoptive mother of reluctant Messiah/World Teacher), Emma Hardinge Britten, Emma Coulomb (known for the SCUM manifesto of the 19th century), and so following on and on while patience lasts.

    This vein of early feminism is not entirely dead even today, by the way. They're poetesses and whatnot, don't you know. []

  4. Old meaning, "washed up". []
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7 Responses

  1. Inb4 Jesus was a black gay "unpriveleged" transgender empowered woman.

    Sorta like this.

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    2
    Mircea Popescu 
    Saturday, 27 May 2017

    All hail teh holy meatballs.

  3. 1.

    He's no longer wrathful, nao.

    The new testament has plenty to say about the wrath of Christ who is God, most notably in Revelation 19:

    11 Now I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. And He who sat on him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and makes war. 12 His eyes were like a flame of fire, and on His head were many crowns. He had a name written that no one knew except Himself. 13 He was clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. 14 And the armies in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, followed Him on white horses. 15 Now out of His mouth goes a sharp sword, that with it He should strike the nations. And He Himself will rule them with a rod of iron. He Himself treads the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. 16 And He has on His robe and on His thigh a name written:

    KING OF KINGS AND
    LORD OF LORDS.

    2.

    He's got a wife and a child

    He had a wife in the old testament, who He actually divorced!

    Jeremiah 3:8 Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also.

    Also, He had a child before the creation of earth, although this is a new testament assertion. But consider instead that Christ was

  4. Arg, missed a doublequote in the href. Previous comment continued:

    But consider instead that Christ was born of a virgin in the old testament!

    Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel. 15 Curds and honey He shall eat, that He may know to refuse the evil and choose the good. 16 For before the Child shall know to refuse the evil and choose the good, the land that you dread will be forsaken by both her kings.

    3.

    From ordering Jacob to fuck his own son in the ass

    What chapter/verse says this?

  5. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    5
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 29 May 2017

    1. I dunno about that, seems it's all "Jesus loves you & is love & fonzies abound".

    2. I had no idea, how did this certificate of divorce happen ?! Also via mountain-tablet delivery ? Who fucking cheats on God, Jesus!

    3. That's just confabulation on the loose basis of Jacob getting renamed (to Israel!) and Abraham having to sacrifice his son and stuff like that.

  1. [...] You see, the transition from the original Jewish god, eternal, omniscient and very, very angry to the catholic-protestant "Jesus", a ridiculous concoction, substantially as well as fundamentally undivine is exactly this same [...]

  2. [...] It's never stated like that by the idiots, but usually in some version of "act so as to not disturb anyone's illusion of being the single player in the MMORPG of existence", such as for instance "all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them". [...]

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