Why is IRC so hard ?

So I wake up, and come to

05:58:44 * DarkSonic1338 (4e66be6d@gateway/web/freenode/ip.78.102.*.*) has joined #eulora
06:10:15 <diana_coman> hi DarkSonic1338
06:10:25 <DarkSonic1338> hi
06:10:58 <DarkSonic1338> where can I get an account on eulora?
06:11:13 <diana_coman> ask mircea_popescu for one; did you get yourself registered with deedbot?
06:12:57 <DarkSonic1338> mircea is afk, I think
06:13:08 <DarkSonic1338> I'll wait
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11:49:14 <Ciechom> hello
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12:57:49 <mircea_popescu> hola
12:58:08 <mircea_popescu> lol why is irc so hard!

I'll go over the "why come in at 5 in the morning, and be gone by 9" part lightly. It was 11 am in Berlin or somesuch, this is the Internet and who cares I'm on most of the day. 11 am in Berlin, bitch! Fine.

But five minutes thirty-one seconds, really ? If you post a question on whatever experts-sexchange forum, do you generally get an answer within five minutes ? Is it useful ? I've never tried, so I'm asking, does this work anywhere ? From what I hear calling Comcast support on the phone - some people you are actually paying! - does not result in your call being even routedⁱ within five minutes. Heck, you're lucky if a 911 call gets a response in five minutes. How in Final Fantasy MMMDCCCLXXXVIII is this supposed to work ?

Seriously now : leave the page beⁱⁱ, it'll wait for you. And if anyone says anything to you, you get highlighted, which probably blinks something somewhere or bolds something somewhere or something of this nature.

And see you in game.

1. Given this experience (because no, this is by no means the first time), I'm starting to understand why, also. Apparently if they let you wait for six minutes you mostly go away, and there's literally no cheaper CS than the C wandering the fuck away under his own power.

   Wanna complain about poor CS phone support ? Turns out that much like superficial, untrustworthy politicians, much like ambitious, irresponsible financiers, much like every other horror in that hell of your own making - you made them this way! All hail modern democracy, that rare jewel of "the people know what they want and deserve to get it long and hard". [↩]

2. Admire the perverse self-propagation of lizard evil : because "modern browser" must always load "modern page" chock-full of that "modern language" of a shitstain, it necessarily follows from "modern best practices" that memory allocation continues unbound over time so if you leave any page open for more than a minute or two your browser will crash.

   This has the side effect of people being unable to use kiwirrc, notwithstanding that it doesn't do the same thing which is why I recommended it : their reflexes are built a certain way, the "what's to be expected" and "what's to never ever be thought about" are already defined sets. And of course they can't have a proper client because "everything must happen in the browser", unless of course it's "an app", which necessarily doesn't work, as per the definition of what an app is (no, not up to the app developer - it's baked in the platform).

   How does the bitter black fungus keep out the tasty lactic bacteria ? Certainly not directly ; it's a terraforming process you see. Which is why you can't "just want to" : either you permit it or you don't permit it. There's no third option available. [↩]