They're not progressive, they're just lazy - a practical exercise

Tuesday, 15 November, Year 8 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Some voices - the owners of which get to find out through this venue that I despise them ; and that having eschewed the public airing of their "doubts"i they have also eschewed personhood, in my eyes - found issues with the previous theoretical discussion of this topic. Supposedly it's "generalizing", which is the polite form of calling it racist and so on and so forth. You know the spiel, you've heard it plenty, to the point it's triter today than pollutions were to sailors a century ago.

For the sake of fun and games, here's what I did : I created a fiverr account ; I selected the Digital Marketing categoryii and within it the Social Media Marketing subcategoryiii ; and hired everyone there.iv Here's what I ended up with by the time I was bored of clicking :

  1. promote websites or anything on Social media 13 Million active Members
  2. do social media marketing campaign within my 9M Facebook and Twitter fans
  3. tweet your message to 100,000 people
  4. promote your website and any link on social marketing
  5. create social media service with my 12m real people
  6. submit Your Link to 10 000 000 Active SOCIAL Members
  7. do social media marketing within my 7M USA and Europe Facebook Twitter followers
  8. give you 30 expired Tumblr blogs PA 30 plus
  9. tweet your message or ad to 87000 Followers ASAP with Proof
  10. promote ONE of your links using TribePro url will be shared over 117 Plus times
  11. submit your website MANUALLY to the top social bookmarking sites and ping it
  12. socially BOOST your website
  13. promote website tweet with 3M world wide for website Promote
  14. write 15 great tweets for your product
  15. share ONE Url On Tribepro Your Link Will Be Shared At least 157 times
  16. marketing your website to social members
  17. promote your website, product,service via 6Million social people

That seventeen ran me 89.25v, which is exactly the difference between us - when you'll be able to throw away money for idle curiosity and actually do it you'll be in a position to know things rather than in the position of believing things, feeling things, seeking consensusen etcetera. In other words - you'll be a scientist, rather than a human latrine pigvi.

Looking through that list, past the strange capitalisation conventions and approximate use of words, we'll take down the actual numeric claims.

Sticking to the millions, that's 13 + 9 + .1 + 12 + 10 + 7 + .087 + 3 + 6 = 60.187, the figure representing aggregate millions of "members", "facebook and twitter fans", "people", "real people", "social members", "US & EU facebook twitter followers", "followers ASAP"vii, "world wide"s and "social people" - in a word, nothings, but certainly enough of them.

Since the mean of our "data series"viii is 6.687444444 (millions of ~) we can therefore calculate our whole set to be worth 113.686555548, that is to say one hundred and thirteen million six hundred and eighty six thousand five hundred and fifty-five... people and five hundred and forty-eight... thousandths of a people. Because why the hell not, right ? IT'S NUMBERS!

Numbers enough to reverse the US presidential election results 169 times and change.ix How could one resist such a glorious amount of numbers ?!

But wait, there's more! Since the median is 7, it then follows that our "confidence interval" is 0.56 (%) x which is to say that even if we were wrong... we wouldn't be wrong by much!xi Hey - only racists don't believe. ITS SCIENCE! WITH NUMBERS! AND DATA!

Anyway, I set out the following task for these entrepreneurial youth of fiverr :

1. Go to
2. You will be shown a random article. Keep reloading until you hit on an article you like / want to promote / fits your audience.
3. Promote the article you chose - !by url! Right click the title to get the article url.

DO NOT simply promote the root domain (, you will get negative rating. Select an article you like, promote that specifically. Let me know which article you chose.

That's all.

In most jurisdictions 5 dollars still pays for 20 minutes of the lowliest dork's time (by imperial fiat), which is just about how long it takes me to write one of my articles (no, not this one - this one is with NUMBERS), and so the proposition on the table was, "go to, click refresh and skimread a few times, then scribble a few words in your own unmistakable style and be done with it". Hey, it beats flipping burgers - not that anyone would let these nitwits anywhere near the comparatively dangerous (for them) hot stove. Let them sit on the computer all day, it's safer. Not like anyone would take them seriously there or anything.

All this happened yesterday, about this time. Today, roughly 24 hours later, I have a whole pile of results already in!

Can you guess what they are ?

Six of the seventeen cancelled outright. Do you wonder why ?

Because "this isn't what they do".

You may be excused from having formed a contrary opinion on the basis of reading their offerings. You may be excused from thinking they're not in any position to argue, seeing how, as the old adage went, "baby, if you're naked on the set, you're taking the cock" - that's all bias and the patriarchy speaking through you. The fact remains that these fine gents and ladies of the new generation have decided what they'll do is lazily skim for an url, put that url in the box, click the button and no more. NO MORE! Nothing else, no matter what, they're masters of their destinies and kings/queens of their imaginary castles, and they'll do what they do - if it suits you fine and if not ... whatever!

But wait - there's more. I also received no less than four completions! Guess what they did ?

O yeah, that's right - they skimread even more acutely than the other six, fished out, "promoted" that, and expect to be paid. What do you mean "it says don't do exactly that, right there!" Too much text. They were tricked. Please don't focus more on abstract conceptsxii rather than the people themselves! What are you, some kind of sociopath ?! They did the "work" (as they define it - and why shouldn't they get to define it ?xiii), they should be paid!

I rejected the four "completions" with a terse

Read the instructions and re-do.

One of them responded by cancelling the project. Now you have the context to deeply comprehend Stan's point about amoeba. Yes, it's this bad - as if language were a foreign language. No, I don't mean as if English were a foreign language. I mean language, in general and outright, altogether. The ability to think, the simple intuition that there is a relation between "stop or I'll shoot" and the blood-oozing hole in its side is missing. The relation between phenomena and symbols is gone. They are not people, that's what I mean by it - they'll go where the gradient seems to be, and if it turns out not to be, a well. A well! That's it!

Another one of them responded in the most amusing fashion :

goodworkservice: Hello friend how can i help you? Cheers Jase.

This protozoan is actually virulent : it can express the "friend" protein structure that sometimes works to open up the cell membrane. "Jase" has no idea what it is, or how it works, or even what a jase is, but no matter - sometimes it works. And if sometimes it works, then that's all Jase needs, because look up reproductive strategies, r/K selection etc.

Supposedly I'm going to sit there and explain. Because why ? Because Jase's entire life there was an adult available (paid by the state with borrowed money) to "explain" things to him ? This is what your miseducation system has produced. Do kids perform better when there's no beatings as part of the public schooling ? Really ?

Who knows, maybe all I really wanted is for someone to talk to, and Jase could just plug me into an Eliza for half an hour ? Maybe he makes the fiver then ? Worth a shot! And besides - it works for the phone companies, doesn't it ? And for the banks ? And for the "that is our policy" idiots everywhere ? Why shouldn't it work for Jase, what, he can't have "good customer service" and phonelines with music that doesn't require licenses playing in the background ? Down with the patriarchy!

The other two of the four are still thinking about it, but I suspect it'll go either one way or the other. Which... oh, you thought we were done ? We aren't fucking done, not by a damn sight. Consider this jewel :

Hi lordhurr,

Hello! Unfortunately I don't promote articles on my own site. I write tweets on your content or product then I deliver the 15 tweets to you for use on your Twitter account. Let me know if you want me to write a few tweets on each article with a link to the article and you can upload to your own site.


She will... write. Tweets. This is what she will do, in her mind, she will write. Tweets.

You can tell that she's the only old onexiv in the lot, because vague remnants of human civilisation still seem to adhere, even if the bulk of the body has thoroughly undergone amoebatic transformation. So, to honor those long dead people who I happen to have been fond of at some point, I entertained their sad offspring, enough to provide her with

No thanks. I didn't realise your copywriting offer was mislabelled as SMM. Please move it to "creative writing" or whatever and refund this job.

You can probably guess the continuation - but if you can't, it's something about the definition of terms and how she expects the world to work and etcetera. Hey - there's a reason she's single and starving two years short of menopause. I'm not about to entertain the nonsense, and I'm especially not fond of women who imagine my words are open to their interpretation.

Which brings the matter home : of seventeen, ten who didn't perform, of which ten four who also didn't read, whereas six were only lazy. Plus one utterly confused old woman. Of the remainder, one's labelled as late by the very system, and the other five will no doubt fail to surprise.

To make it plain, and to state it clearly : the kids aren't "progressive". They're just lazy. That's all.

To which plain and clear statement there will of course be some doubts raised, by some voices who etcetera, and so ad infinitum. Those voices will continue, forever. If you're not willing to grow up, "talking about things" is the best possible defense.

Those voices must be killed.

PS. For the truly curious - yes those "deliveries" delivered, in the sense this term is contemplated among the scum. They have elaborately faked "screenshots" and doctored urls and etcetera to "prove" they "did the work". And yes, on careful inspection there are a coupla hundred hits to the main page that can be traced to this misadventure. They're exactly of the substance of Facebook trafficxv, and apodictically not worth money.

  1. There's a reason V is all about authorship - the swamp in which these live is built exactly out of anonymity. Hiding their person behind "institutions" and behind "principles" and behind "the death of the author" and the pretense that political speech may be judged "on its merits" irrespective of its authors', as if there could even be such a thing as the merits of political speech irrespective of its authors', they aim to realise the vermin's immortality. As history shows, the only actually realised part is being vermin.

    They do not wish to be wrong, is the catch. They wish for their naive fantasies to be made reality, but pointedly not at the risk of their childish fantasies being exposed as childish, with an incumbent obligation to grow up being reflected on them. They must speak anonymously, because if Father heard what they're saying he'd whip them. This is the sad, broken remnant of immortality that's available to these stunted souls.

    Seriously, did your wife have the kids with the household pets ? They're not human, these things, they're subhuman, how did you end up with them in the house ?! []

  2. The other options were Graphics & Design, Writing & Translation, Video & Animation, Music & Audio, Programming & Tech and so following, which you might notice all require specific talent and ability. They aren't open to all comers. Seems judicious to select the only one "anyone can do", seeing how kids today have no talents and no abilities. []
  3. It was the first listed. []
  4. Because unlike the girls who work their ass off and have an ass to work off in the first place - I'm rich.

    Before you ask - my being the only billionaire you know doesn't mean I do what you think I should. It means you do what I think you should. []

  5. "Fiverr" ie everything costs $5, except there's a 25 cent surcharge for whatever reasons, so $85 for the workers and $4.25 for the site or something like that. []
  6. 人彘 if you prefer the classical Chinese notation.

    Speaking of which - I wonder what will happen now, since the US is practically a Chinese colony.

    I wonder what will happen to you. []

  7. I'm guessing this is like the USDA amirite? []
  8. Hey, everything can be a data series, right ? That's how progressive Earth science works! []
  9. 113.686555548 / (61.047207 - 60.375961) = 169.366455142. Problem ? Take it up with the "elite" and "educated" and "cultural" progressive dorks, they came up with it. Be sure to also ask about "alliance of demographic trends" since you're there, they'll tell you all about it. []
  10. √(7−6.687444444) = 0.559066683. Problem ? Bwahahahaha. []
  11. You think this argument is made in jest ? It isn't made in jest. It is made in education - yours. Try, for your own benefit, and think how you'd upset it. Then think what that means for "modern democracy", and how tenable "representative" whatever is in the face of your objection.

    Can you actually thread this needle ? Let me hear you.

    Let me hear you, and know that your silence on this topic is of the exact substance of the silence on that other topic, and on all the other important topics - it creates upon you an obligation. It creates upon you the obligation to change your mind, and to cast out the things of childhood, and to fucking grow up already. []

  12. Such as you know, the actual job description. []
  13. No, seriously, the expectation of the lazy "progressive" that zher's the one to define zher's own work (and preferably also the scoring criteria for said work) is so deeply ingrained as to beggar belief. Try testing it sometime. []
  14. Ie, 40+ rather than 20-something. []
  15. I won't sully the pixels with an exact restatement of the exact same thing, but it is the exact same thing. []
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5 Responses

  1. Wasn't there a parable about a fellow who went to a beehive and tried to hire the bees to plow a field, but instead got stung repeatedly? Because it is the nature of bees to sting, etc., and wtf, really, a beehive? plow?

    If there wasn't, perhaps there should have been.

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Tuesday, 15 November 2016

    And if there weren't, now there certainly is.

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