Her: So MP, here's one for you. Few days ago, huge topic on Reddit, "straight women, what could guys do in bed to make sex better". There was one overwhelming, somewhat shocking response pretty much all women mentioned. Hundreds of replies. Guess what ?
Me: Uh, give them a blowjob.
Her: You mean, eat them out?
Me: Uhh... do the dishes.
Her: What, in bed?
Me: Ah it hasta be in bed...
Me: I dunno, bring a friend.
Me: Hm. Take their socks off. Wash.
Her: A few of those, but no.
Me: Jesus. Take Viagra.
Me: Stop asking a bunch of retarded questions.
Me: Use a condom.
Me: Okay, I'm spent.
Her: They should... make noise.
Her: Most common complaint, present in pretty much every single respondent's response. Gal's there working her butt off, can't tell if she's working a corpse or a very tight lipped Cistercian. So you know, they'd like to know if he likes whatever's going on to any degree, or what.
Me: *staggering* What a sad state of affairs.
Unrelated to the foregoing, imagine if the entire wetware computing thing takes off. But I mean in a big way : the CPU's organic, the monitor's organic, you gotta plug speaker-animals into the computer-animal in order for the image on the monitor-animal to match the sounds you hear...
What happens if one breaks down ? Why, you replace it, of course. You keep a bunch of them in culture, what's it cost, some HFCS and a little zinc powder or whatever ? Self-replicating computer technology, or "You wouldn't download an ethernet card, would you ?!?" "I would if I could bitch!"
Sort-of like sourdough, everyone'd keep their own variant and keep selecting it at home,
people USians'd meet to exchange mousse recipes... One could have a monitor with hair growing on the back, perhaps a little beard around, tentacles, what have you. The webcam'd be a squishy eye reminescent of an octopus, or perhaps something multifaceted like a spider's, people could have contests with their homemade webcams much like they have robot contests today.
I imagine these two converge, on a finite timeline. The only remaining question being, where do you suppose the vagina goes ?