Further derps : D.BSTP, D.CBSE, D.CIFI, D.OKCO, D.XAPO

Tuesday, 08 July, Year 6 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

To keep it short and sweet :

D.BSTP, aka BitStamp, the two-cans-and-a-string exchange that found itself accidentally in a market leadership position through a string of failures and scamsi, notwithstanding that marketii has never been dominant, as OTC always held over 50% of BTC FX volume, nor has it grown any single quarter since 2011iii.

  • Alleges to have raised 15`873 BTC (10 million USD), at an implied valuation of 55`555 (35 mn).

D.CBSE, aka CoinBase, the well known, well beloved VC scam trying to eke out some Bitcoin relevancy somehow. It doesn't actually have a business model, mostly known for trying to steal D.BPAY's payment processing.

  • Alleges to have raised 50`317 BTC (31.7 million USD), at an implied valuation of 125`793 (79.25 mn).

D.CIFI aka Circle. Entire business predicated on the Potato Salad Phenomenoniv. No business model.

  • Alleges to have raised 26`984 BTC (17 million USD), at an implied valuation of 107`936 BTC (68 mn).

D.OKCO aka OkCoin. Void entity. No business model.

  • Alleges to have raised 15`873 BTC (10 million USD), at an implied valuation of 63`492 (40 mn).

D.XAPO. Guy made a Bitcoin wallet, which he then "sold". Six months later, same people at the same business address are making the same exact thing, which they will "sell". No business model past PR.

  • Alleges to have raised 31`746 BTC (20 million USD), at an implied valuation of 60`317 (38 mn)v.

All of these will be available on MPEx in the coming days, in conditions quite similar to the previous set of derps.

———
  1. Yes Kenna, the scam you pulled with TradeHill has not been forgotten, will not be forgotten. []
  2. Website Bitcoin exchanging []
  3. You remember, the year MtGox "got hacked" and nearly fucked Bitcoin over in the process. []
  4. Square was "successful" you see, in the manner of Potato Salad Success. Consequently, there is "market" "demand" for Big Awesome Burritos and Circle. []
  5. Or over 100mn, if you actually credit WSJ. []
Category: F.DERP
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4 Responses

  1. Peter Lambert`s avatar
    1
    Peter Lambert 
    Thursday, 9 October 2014

    How about this one, Coinplug? Who comes up with these stupid names, anyway?

    http://www.coindesk.com/coinplugs-2-5-million-funding-round-reveals-bitcoin-growth-korea/

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    2
    Mircea Popescu 
    Thursday, 9 October 2014

    Lol coinplug.

    I have no idea, maybe a Holy Blender somewhere.

  3. what's in a name anyway

  4. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    4
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 2 March 2015

    For the record, D.CBSE announced a $75mn investment today. With the BTC at ~250, there's roughly 300k BTC worth of equity diluting the previous ~50k.

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