Whore strat

You will scarcely believe what I'm about to recount, and that's fine. I can scarcely believe it myself.

A friend brought me this girl, because that's what friends do. She's seventeen yet, but not for very long, sort of skinny, sort of lanky, sort of blondy, random teenager.

She's also a whore, and while she identifies as such in private I don't think the word begins to do justice. You see, a few years ago, back when she was about to move on to high school she formed a plan, all in her head. A fifteen year old with a plan. Think about that.

She figured school's a waste of time anyway, and since she's stuck with it she'd be better served by having a little fun and making a little money while rounding her education. Much like the heroine of whatever book she was reading at the time (she does read a lot). And so while her grades were pretty good she deliberately picked a highschool with a heavy male slant, somewhat to the confounding of her family. She did this for the direct reason : more customers, less competition. She has said this, her words.

Once school began she spent a few weeks collecting intel on her classmates, specifically to find out who's daddy is rich and how rich exactly, who's daddy is strict and how strict exactly and so forth. She made herself a list. Then she waited to be hit on, which indeed happened in short order. She privately explained to the young fellow that while she's not at all interested in a relationship, she is more than willing to help him (help him, yes, her words), according to the following price schedule. And she dictated her price schedule. A blowjob went for about a week's average pay. I know this because she pointed it out, because that's how she figured it. She'd kiss for free, she'd go all the way for three times that, she'd do anal as a throw-in on her own call and she never spent the night.

She did however provide toothpaste services, which apparently is so named for some intranslatable idiomatic that's pretty funny in the original language. These consisted of going with the guy places as if his romantic interest. Family dinners, what have you. This was free except the guy had to buy her outfit, all of it, in the sense she'd only wear what he got her. After which she'd keep it, all, underwear to earrings. She said the idea came to her once some older friend explained how modelling works, as a profession, and she further said that on pricelist-basis this was the more productive of all her work. She amassed hundreds of dresses, pairs of shoes and assorted womanly crap in this fashion.

This is not all. Every one of her customers, no matter how distant in time his last buy, was entitled to one free blowjob a month. Each month. It is this particular cranny that blew me away the most, if you'll pardon the pun. Specifically : for very little cost, because indeed what's a blowjob, it gives the whore ascendancy in the sense that down on their luck (ie, grounded) teenagers aren't likely to do anything to jeopardize their stream of monthly blowjobs, especially seeing how their parents stick with their unhappy marriages for much, much less than thatⁱ whereas kids on high horses are quite unlikely to stop at just once a month. And who turns down free no string attached blowjobs anyway ? Course there's always a string attached, but who even knows this ?

(I was going to insert an illustration here of a string attached, to illuminate this article.
Pretend I did)

This particular bit of strategic brilliance has served her exceedingly well, in the sense that one time a year or so ago when somebody tried to blow the horn by exposing her activities to the general public she simply pointed out to her entire list of dole beneficiaries that if her whoredom becomes a point of common knowledge she wouldn't particularly care, but she wouldn't bother with giving away free blowjobs either, as what's the point ? This managed to put the haples guy on the receiving end of the fear and anger of a consistent troop of frustrated teenagers, which arrangement dispatched the problem for her within a day, and permanently.

She never had a pimp, she never did an adult, she never caught anything. How about that! Three year+ prostitution veteran (or whatever, victim, if you must look at things that way) never caught as much as a good dose of the clap. There's apparently a lot of wisdom in this entire "never did adults" notion.

She's quite original on other scores, too. For instance, she does not believe homosexuality to be an actual thing. She considers it to be strictly a fashion, like wearing shoes instead of sneakers (her words). The central reason for this being that all the gay people she knows are exactly three couples, and the reason they're gay couples is that she did the boys together back before they were gay, and made them do things to each other. Things of a sexual nature. And so they got used to it, her theory goes, and now when they can't get the real thing they sort of jack it together rather than apart. How about that ?

I did my best to try and explain that while what she's saying is certainly correct about the vast majority of confused douches that self-identify as gay, nevertheless there exists real homosexuality and it's a tad different if a lot rarer. I'm not sure whether this theory of mine managed to convince her, but I guess she has a lot of time to figure this stuff out, in her twenties or whatever.

I could go on, but I think this much is enough to prove the original point : unbelievable, isn't it.

1. I bet you no 40 year old married woman goes on her knees before the cock quite so rapturously worshipful as this teenaged hussy. [↩]