A week ago some unread sectioni of the New York Times ran some inane story about Penn State coeds. Something about how they spend their time or such nonsense, as if anyone cares what students do with their time. They'll probably like ask teenagers what they like think about like life and stuff next, you know ?
The famished libertard pressii took umbrage to this, for a very understandable reason : they write just as badly. Isn't it unfair the Times has some dough and actually like... pays people to write ? Actual money, occasionally! Whereas the entire "industry" as represented by Gawker Media has to live off of hopes and promises ? But how could this be, howl-howl.
So far this'd be business as usual, yet another sterile catfight among the useless, part and parcel of the blossoming command economy they've got going over there. It gets better once Whitney Tilson joins the fray however. In case the name's about as familiar to you as the style section of the New York Times, he's Charlie Munger's (Warren Buffett's unofficial boyfriend) official biographer.iii
Anyway, fifty year old banker type, the sort that has to pay thousands for the same sex work that half drunk, sort-of washed and horribly dressed teenagers get for free. If we subscribe to the theory that submission shapes social hierarchy it'd mean he counts for much less in this world than people with no experience, no clue, no money and absolutely no style whatsoever. I guess we'd better not subscribe to such reactionary theories then. Let's quoteiv instead :
A truly horrifying story from the front page of tomorrow’s NYT (especially if you have three daughters, the oldest two of which are teenagers).
Awww. Seriously cute, he's spent all his time and money making cockwrappers for random strangers and he's not had the foresight to get therapy ? Hopefully he's not doing the strategic management of those funds himself...
I certainly hope that my daughters would never spend a second with a guy who would ever dare say “get down on your knees” – but if that happened, they would:
a) walk away
b) better yet, punch him in the mouth and walk away
c) better yet, kick him in the balls and walk away
d) better yet, pretend to go along with it, but when he pulls it out, squint, laugh, and walk away
e) better yet, bite it!
Right. Well... here's the problem Tilly. Mind if I call you Tilly ? Since we're practically related in a sense, and moreover Tilly sort-of sounds like Tilica, which is one of the traditional Romanian names for the iconically, votively stupid. I think it's fitting.
So, Tilly, one of those three girls likes being told to go on her knees, and does a superb job of it, too. The girl's talented, if underage. I take it she takes after her mother ? Would you like to see the pictures ?
Lastly, after doing any of a-e, come home and tell me his name so I can buy my first gun and...well, you get the idea! ;-)
Name's up there in the title of the page. What now, tough boy Tilly ?
I cerially wish to see how a first-time gun owner fiddy something pasty ass American banker guy handles coming after me. Super cerially.
PS. Stop encouraging naive adolescent girls that got used for the intended purpose to misrepresent their usage as "rape". It's unseemly, and not something people who've already bought their first gun approve of.———
- I honestly had no idea they have a "style" section. If I had any idea I'd have probably done them instead of Elle and whatnot. [↩]
- Basically Gawker plus its entire fifty man readership - phear them for they all write blogs nobody reads and thus are a force on the Internet!!! [↩]
- If by this point you are thinking the references are getting a little gnarly, I would like to point out in my own defense that I've just been reading de Retz' memoirs, which is probably colouring the comings and goings of the US Court in a distinctly unamerican taint. [↩]
- The guy's on blogspot. Yes, really. Yes, he really is a fund manager. Yes, he's on the spam platform. Yes, I know it doesn't make any sense. In his defense, he's probably paying blogspot 2k an hour + free cocaine for hosting. [↩]