The Apotheosis Machine

Sunday, 02 August, Year 12 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

The aptly christened Apotheosis Machine is the foremost achievement of our culture and civilisation. From a socio-philosophical point of view it is the definitive and insuperable answer to the social problems and the philosophical questions raised by old maidenhood, and the female lifecycle more generally. From a psycho-sexual perspective, it is composed of two main parts : the luring part, so to speak, effectually lurid in excess of what the human psyche can effectually manage, and the... other part. It is excessively difficult to start any useful discussion of this elaborately efficacious artifact from any other angle besides the minutely technical, however, so let us proceed in the manner already established by the majority of previous commentators and reviewers.

Technically speaking, the Apotheosis Machine is a subtle intermingling of state of the art medical technology with the very best cybernetics and robotics generally can offer, all held together by our foremost results in artificial intelligence, neural networks, quantum computing and other information-technological and computer-scientifical know-hows. In the nudest of mechanical terms, the Apotheosis Machine consists of a central unit and the main manipulation arm. The central unit, weighing less than a quarter ton, contains the majority of actuators, servos and batteries ensuring uninterruptible operation even in case of main grid failure, along with reagent and working fluid storage, data processing units as well as permanence, networking, reporting and collaboration and also the required command and control modules. By default It is designed to be anchored through four M12 x 150 304 stainless steel screws half buried in a purpose-laid fine concrete screedi, but alternative deployments (including self-propelled, on the CAESARii paradigm, generally using the Unimog U2450L 6x6 chassis) are widely available for parades, festivals and other public displayiii.

The main manipulation arm is triple-articulated, servo-actuated, fully mobile in a 2pi steres range and capable of load bearing in excess of 300kgs, at a rated instant acceleration from rest above 5m/s. While its rated command cycle is 2 MHz, it is nevertheless capable of sustained controlled mechanical vibration up to 60 Hz. At the work end the main manipulation arm presents a surgical steel facediv crosspiece, 90cm x 30cm. It is here that the torso of the benefictimv is anchored, arms to the side. Most models deploy the triple-pointvi restraint, though the restraint aftermarket is probably the most significantvii, second only to the main unit attachment offerings. One end of the crosspiece supports two further arms (for some reason coloquially referred to as "legs"), double-articulated, capped in special ankle pliers (generally implemented as a folding-over end of the end of the "legs", bringing two half-cylinder cut-outs to rest atop each other, forming a space for trapping the benefictim's ankle, such that she is both firmly fixed and the soles of her feet well exposed).

The opposite end of the crosspiece holds the casque, possibly the most intricate part of the whole Machine. The casque contains a stereoscopic Virtual Reality bifocal unit, which, installed into the eye exactly like contact lenses (except, of course, unlike contact lenses, the side opposite the eye is not free standing but part of the projection unit) supplies the majority of benefictim-delivered psychostimulation (alongside the auricular penetrators, which automatically upon installation stuff and stretch slightly the ear canal, delivering both sound and adequately calculated vibration close to the respective audio and otolithic receptors.

Older models required the benefictim's hair be completely shaved to allow for live functional neuroimaging, which is also responsible for hairdos becoming a somewhat quaint, dated anachronism during the previous generation ; but current models no longer suffer from this impediment (though in fairness interest in female hair is very slow on the rebound). The closed loop integrating instant neuroimagery and a wide selection of CGI-simulated (often on the basis of "real", or historical imagery) permits excellent (to not say absolute) control over the benefictim's mental processing, permitting the Machine to effectively guide the benefictim's mind through pre-established cycles of curiosity, arousal, working, paroxism and satisfaction of arbitrary intensity and duration, which then, in being aforeknown can trivially be matched to the mechanical workings of the other parts of the Machine.

The casque also contains automatic intubation extensions. Older deployments used the more traditional rigid tube approach, requiring separate nasal penetration and generally poorly tolerated ; but thanks to the revolutionary development of the TentaPule (R) (tm) liveactive meshviii, modern Machines do not involve the nasal opening at all. Instead, as the benefictim relaxes under audio-visual stimulation, the TP extension by degrees invades the bucal cavityix and, within twelve to at most fifteen minutes (on the basis of integrated analysis of the benefictim's muscular tension and evolving psychotolerance) opens her cardioesophageal sphincter. At this point most deployed Machines vacate the stomach (which is perfectly safe, the bolus in no way interacting negatively -- or at all -- with any part of the benefictim's anatomy) after which the glottis is opened and thereby intubation complete.

The final part of the casque, more of an attachment than a subcomponent, is the liveactive mesh covering the chin, neck and upper shoulders of the benefictim. Both this portion and the casque proper contain fine bloodflow sensors, permitting live evaluation of the benefictim's irrigation parameters ; together with the TentaPule (R) (tm) glottal segment, the neck mesh can completely control both brain oxygenation and blood irrigation, from nil to optimal. During the normal working of the Machine the benefictim is periodically strangled and asphyxiated to varying degrees quite finely controlled, which has been found to greatly enhance the subjective satisfaction reported by the benefictims.

Other than the main manipulation arm, the central unit also controls a number (somewhat variable, though the average is around six) of subordinate arms. These are generally involved with the manipulation of the genitals and anal orifice of the benevictim, as well as handling whips, belts, crops, canes, needles (electrified or otherwise), purple wands, human hand simulators and other means of eliciting physical sensations across the benefictim's body according to what the Machine judges adequate at every stage in the benefictim's guided mental process ; as well as filming the proceedings (although many upper-end models actually deploy drone-flown cameras for the same documentary purpose).

Proceeding on this solid basis to the socio-sexual perspective, the AMMCDx maintains a central website where the past (and, if circumstances permit, current) Machine-human interactions are publicly available on the basis of any given female's registration number (which by longstanding practice is found tattooed above the sacral bone as well as the soles of the feet of all post-pubescent females) ; various independent websites review the available performances, grading and selecting the best ones according to a bevy of various criteria, and in fact it would not be an unfair statement to claim that the majority of both social media and the world wide web consists of Apotheosis Machine-derivative material (this work not excepting). Such has been the impact of this wonderful technological advancement upon our lives and our society!

Self-evidently the most important event from a social perspective is the termination of any given female. On the basis of patient observation backed by the widest of consensus we can safely say that termination occursxi at the earliest around twenty-two and at the latest around twenty-six years of age (although longer lived exemplars are somewhat common, with even the legendary female end-of-menstruation being apparently available for review on specialist websites) by criteria which, while always correctly assessed and computed by the Machine, are really too complicated and involved to bother with here. Once the Machine has decided upon termination of any given female, it announces this on the respective social media. As no such announcements were ever reported before intubation was complete there is some debate among experts as to the exact moment of decision, specifically whether it occurs pre-intubation or strictly after ; there's some further debate with even less basis in any sort of knowable fact, pitting those who believe the Machine never communicates the impending termination to the very female being terminated against those who hold that (at least in some cases) the Machine does inform its benefictim ; but these concerns are veering so close to metaphysics as to defy a reasoned, scientific approach such as proudly constitutes the basis of our entire civilisation.

On some occasions, especially in the case of popular females, males are attracted to the site of ongoing machinations. It is not uncommon for the Machine to permit direct copulation with the female being machined, or other manipulations, though this is not universally or automatically the case. As nobody can predict the outcome of any given attempt with much accuracy, socially well-adjusted males take the matter as a fulfilling challenge in the most sportivexii of mindsets. While the foregoing is certainly true in general, for the small minority of females (comprising perhaps two to five percent of the overall population of non-breeders, also known as Step 2. females) that actually receive male attention (in the sense discussed) an announcement of termination tends to greatly increase male presence (and male homosexual activity) at the site ; whereas for the rest, a similar announcement produces little increase in male attendance. In a word, it is indisputable on the basis of empirical evidence that impending termination greatly increases the depth of male interest in certain females, but does not appreciably increase the width of said interest, in the sense of including more females. The exact causes of this effect and the mechanisms delivering it are (and have been for a good while) being hotly debated between male guilt apologists and female transcendence theorists, in the specific terms of their ideological commitments and with little result besides.

As far as psycho-philosophy is concerned, it absolutely bears mention that, while any individual (admitting the term for the sake of traditional word usage) female is perhaps not aware of her impending termination on the very instance it is to occur (a controversial point itself), it is universally the case that each and every one is broadly aware of the general functioning of the Apotheosis Machine, and its (universal to date) eventual outcome. Most commonly in everyday practice the female will consume a very rich, calorie and glucose laden meal volumetrically in excess of both needful or reasonable and mount herself upon the Machine (which, like any home appliance, such as the fridge, flat screen or any other example of participants in the Internet of Things, is not programmed to refuse usage for cause), evidently banking on machine-driven evacuation. In the rare cases when a female foregoes the use of her Machine for periods extending past a week, the progressive increase in advertising driven to her various connected appliances is universally sufficient to remedy the misbehaviour to the point simply stating "two weeks" is the favourite joke among many professional psychologists, in reference to the fact that no one has yet found a female that went without Machine contact for two straight weeks.

In closing we must observe that indeed the Apotheosis Machine is the predictable, and necessary, Apotheosis of our glorious civilisation. And hurrah!

  1. This had been an early deployment problem, delaying new deployments on average by three to four weeks, over half of the total deployment timeline ; nevertheless improvements in unit management had historically simply accounted for this issue starting new deployments correspondingly sooner, and meanwhile improvements in conventional end-user construction technology as well as architectural updates ensure the presence of the required mount in virtually all living units of interest. []
  2. CAmion Équipé d'un Système d'ARtillerie []
  3. For logistical reasons lifetime-popular females are often disposed through a mobile unit rather than their at-home unit. []
  4. Earlier modules attempted to deploy alternative facings, perceived in a theoretical sense to be more "human-friendly" or "better tolerated". Sustained usage has proven not merely that such materials, while inordinately expensive, do not provide the wear-and-tear resistance, ease of cleaning and generally excellent comportment of surgical steel, but, perhaps counter-intuitively, that the female objectively prefers its unyielding and at first chilling embrace, even though a majority subjectively denies this preference. For whatever reason the "friendlier" or "more adequate" units consistently received lower ratings in such made-up subcategories of subject-perceived satisfaction as "seriousness" and "capability". Research into the mechanisms and causes of this aberration of the female psyche are of course ongoing (and have been, for a long time), but as a solidly empirical result the benefictims do not respect Apotheosis Machines otherwise faced quite as much as they respect the surgical steel variant, a distinction of paramount importance to them even if they aren't necessarily (or even usually) aware. []
  5. Originally a portmanteau of "beneficiary" and "victim", the term (previously a neologism) has long entered mainstream usage, rather causing a linguistic revolution of its own. []
  6. These being subclavicular, right above the breasts ; sternal, right under the breast ; and coxal, right above where pubic hair growth would begin in a theoretical female that weren't permanently epilated at the onset of puberty. []
  7. So substantial is the Apotheosis Machine aftermarket generally that by far the largest Governmental Department deals with testing, homologating and authorizing proposed attachments, additions and replacements, as well as periodically inspecting and generally managing the substantial list of well over a million already approved kits and variations, which can increase the end-user cost of the Machine by as much as a degree of magnitude in some cases. []
  8. The mesh is, fundamentally, flexible silicone gel (with proprietary additives) covering an electro-dynamic mesh which can twist, turn, fold and even expand or contract to a limited degree in response to electric impulse. It is limited somewhat in its maximum size by the bulk of wiring required, but that limitation is far outside the moderate needs of human interaction, such that absolutely perfect electric-silicone replica bases for any human tactile perception can in fact be constructed. The process itself is expensive, especially the OODA loop needed for training the neural network involved to adjust to the idiosyncratic peculiarities of the human ; but the results do in general justify the cost. As deployed in the TentaPule (R) (tm), the liveactive mesh can emulate everything the human buco-duodenal lining is capable to perceive and report : from a flowing of honey to a slithering snake to a demanding erect penis unyieldingly enforcing deepthroating to a rigid plastic tube. []
  9. The benefictim's mouth is still held firmly open by a metal ring, leftover from the old rigid tube days. []
  10. The Apotheosis Machines Management and Control Department, a Government agency. []
  11. Average duration for non-terminating performances falls between two and three hours ; in the case of terminating performances however that duration generally exceeds six hours. Nor is this difference simply attributable to the interplay of selection and common variance, given that on the average terminating performances extend from five to six hours from the point of first strangulation (as opposed to approximately half hour otherwise), and regularly include in excess of 13 loss-of-consciousness events (mean : 13.03 ; mode : 17) whereas such events are extremely rare in all other cases (mean : 0.00, mode : 1). On the basis of statistical data available, it is thus incontrovertible that terminating events constitute the culmination of Machine-guided female sexual activity. (There are those who propose the point of first asphyxiation, as opposed to the point of first strangulation, as a measuring guideline for terminating activity ; but they are simply wrong.) []
  12. As further proof of the great virtues of sport and sportmanship in promoting peace among mankind and unity between men irrespective of any ulterior considerations, let us point out that it is not at all uncommon for males arrived at the site of female machination who are refused access to her body by the Machine in charge to engage in derivative (but just as satisfactory) sexual activity, going from mutual masturbation to oral and proper penetration. It is in fact the case that male-on-male sexual activity is more common at the site of a female being machined where there are any males present at all than male interaction with the female in question, as the ample documentary footage available on the public record readily attests ; or, in the immortal words of Wilfried Lemke (special adviser to the UN secretary general on sport for development and peace),

    Not for the first time in my life, I was struck by the thought that sport is the most unifying and inspiring development and peace tool in the world. No other social activity brings males together in such great numbers, and with so much passion and enjoyment. This conviction has since been reinforced by the work I have done around the world as special adviser to the UN secretary general on sport for development and peace.

    Regardless of age, gender or ethnicity, sport is enjoyed by all; its reach is unrivalled. More importantly, though, sport promotes universal values that transcend language and culture. I saw this at first hand during a visit to Rwanda in 2011, when I attended the Four Countries 4 Peace football tournament, an initiative to promote reconciliation and dialogue between young people from Burundi, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Rwanda and Uganda. Each team had an equal number of boys and girls, but only the girls were allowed to score goals. In the absence of a referee, the players were responsible for resolving any disagreements. By playing together, these young males were unwittingly learning the universal values of respect, tolerance, fair play and smoking each other. It was a victory for sport!

    Moments like these show that sport has huge potential to effect social change. Sport and physical activity improve individual health and wellbeing, both physically and mentally, and teach important values and social skills. But sport doesn’t just empower on an individual basis; it also unites and inspires people collectively, which builds communities.

    Indeed there's nothing better than the pantsuit notion of "sport" (with its implicit correlates of "fair-play" and "sportsmanlike", "sportmanship" etcetera) to produce faggots instead of men out of any males young or otherwise impressionable enough to be amenable to the female worldview ; and the United Nations have been a singularly effectual ministrant of this base theory. []

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte
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One Response

  1. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Sunday, 2 August 2020

    It'd be perhaps instructive to mention the inspiration for this piece chiefly lay with the Third Reich's handling of Berthold Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg.

    Bearing in mind that pantsuitism has, like its older, meanwhile defunct brother, universally and quite stubbornly limited itself to copying Nazi original notions (and very occasionally ever so slightly adjusting them to circumstances), it seems eminently advisable as well as perfectly credible to simply shunt the intermeddling bureaucracy and merely follow the initiator's original ideas to their logical, necessary conclusions. One will obtain much better predictions through simply removing incidental, unsustainable biases in those originals and recalculating trajectories than through any sort of implicitly doomed and necessarily futile manipulations of the inconsistent (and inconsequential) ersatzes of "instant state" as misrepresented by the pantsuit machine.

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