thelastpsychiatrist.com - Charlie Sheen Has An Awesome Experience, This Time With Drugs and A Hooker, Which Was The Same As Last Time. Adnotated.

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Charlie Sheenⁱ :

Sheen appeared highly intoxicated when officers arrived to his room around 1:30 a.m., and a woman with him said they had been out drinking and partying that night, according to a law enforcement official. She said he was yelling and tossing furniture when they returned to the room

The part not in this paragraph is that he was naked, she was naked, she was a prostitute, and she was hiding in the closet. Cocaine was probably involved. Also, he had just spent the day with his ex-wife and their kids, all who were asleep in the next room. That's class.ⁱⁱ

First, the drugs. I know this isn't a particularly psychiatric thing for me to say, but I like dropping truth bombs on the unsuspecting: lots of people get drunk and high and... do nothing. Watch Craig Ferguson. Play Xbox. Take a nap. Go to work.ⁱⁱⁱ

I'm not condoning it^iv, but our minds get tripped up at the drugs as if therein lies the majority of the explanation, and I'm sure Charlie et al would like us to stop there as well.

This goes for psychiatric illness, should he have one. "He's bipolar." So? Seriously, what am I supposed to do with that? Society can't have it both ways, you can't tell me "it's a hurtful stereotype that the mentally ill are violent" and then 180 it and say "he got violent because he was mentally ill." Sometimes they go together, sometimes they don't, but you can't offer either one as an "everybody knows that" and hide behind your postmodernism.^v

Second, he has no incentive to stop.^vi There's a physical toll on his body, I guess, but meanwhile he's having drunken sex with super hot women -- so what if they're prostitutes^vii -- partying, going to clubs, etc. He trashed the Plaza Hotel. That's where he's at with his addiction, the Plaza Hotel. He's three moongates away from anything resembling rock bottom.

When he gets caught, he gets a slap on the wrist and his show gets picked up for another season. The picture they splash all over the news that reflects his insanity is this one:

I'm not advocating punishing him^viii, but you can see that the whole system is set up^ix to keep him going at this level.^x Surprise. He does. If you're wondering why this nut doesn't change his life, it's because you pay him not to.

II.

"He's not a bad guy, he just has a problem." Actually, you have that backwards, he doesn't have a problem, he is a bad guy. I know this because he beat up (allegedly, at least) two women.^xi This isn't the place to get into whether the bitch done deserved it, running her mouth all damn night long, the point is his thinking about it. If I (allegedly) beat up a girlfriend, I'd feel TREMENDOUS guilt, I would really have to rethink the need for my existence.^xii I'd also be scared that she'd call the cops and shamed as a woman beater, ruining my life and/or career^xiii; and I'd be Ed Norton 25th Hour terrified of going to jail.^xiv Charlie Sheen apparently feels none of these fears, at all, ever. After he beat up the first bitch who deserved it he should have sworn of bitches just out of self-preservation, but no, back into the mix, and if the next one gets out of line she'll be getting the People's Elbow.^xv

That's narcissism -- "writ large"^xvi as they say in magazines that suck. Even if the drugs made him completely insane, the fact is that he regularly puts himself in situations that involve something getting punched, and the only explanation for that is that he doesn't see rules^xvii as objectively applying to him, he only sees his behavior as situational, in his context. In other words, there's always this: "well, hold on, this is a different situation, let me explain..." followed by two hours of words. There's always an explanation, it's always different this time, which just means it's exactly the same.^xviii

III.

"It's an addiction, he can't stop." Put the microphone down, wildman. Everyone can stop. You may be bad at math but your brain is doing math all the time and it calculates to the millivolt whether the reward is worth it. Internal forces conspire against you, for sure^xix -- maybe it values things wrongly and maybe your body tries to to trick you when you want to quit by making you more hungry so you eat more, or more anxious so you drink more, more bored, more angry, maybe you remember more vivdly that your wife cheated that one time, or that Karen is dead -- whatever -- but it still ends up being a binary question, "do I do it or not?" You can argue that the scales are loaded one way or another but it is a scale nonetheless. The secret of the universe is this: all decisions are binary. You will never be happy if you fight this.

IV.

I can help you with your choice, with varying success, but when you are punching other people and that isn't enough to get you to stop no one can help you. Before you say, "I want to stop drinking" you have to first have thought it more important to say, out loud, "I want to stop punching people."^xx The latter is for the good of others; the former is for yourself, with the byproduct of being good for others. That's why it fails.

V.

Denise Richards got him to the hospital, and is now trying to protect her kids from Charlie's nonsense and media exposure. You know how I know that? She was on TV blabbing about it.^xxi I certainly don't fault her^xxii, but the desire to interpret personal events in a public forum changes the meaning of the events. "My fans are going to want to know." Sure they want to^xxiii, but that doesn't mean you should tell them. In fact, for your own good as well as theirs, you shouldn't.

The result is it goes from being outstandingly negative to almost positive. If you hired a prostitute or punched a girlfriend you'd hardly put it on your Facebook, but this gets written up in TMZ as Sheen The Party Wildman. Cool. The male deconstruction of it is, "man, if that was me, I wouldn't be trashing the hotel room..." That's where he went wrong, see?^xxiv He took it too far, but the lifestyle sounds enviable... and anyway he sounds like he'd be fun to hang out with, right? Ladies?^xxv Am I right?^xxvi

I'm in

If the repercussions for nonsense and punching your girlfriend is another girlfriend^xxvii and more nonsense, it's hard to identify a reason to stop^xxviii. Which is why it won't. But you're being lied to, by yourself. And now I'm not talking about Charlie Sheen, I'm talking about you.

1. Linked to omg.yahoo.com/news/sheen-leaves-hospital-after-nyc-hotel-outburst/49580, which seriously now... [↩]
2. No, actually, the part not in that paragraph is how the fuck did some pigs / "law enforcement officials" end up in some dude's room ; and the reason it's not in there is the self-obvious impossibility. There is no mention of how for the simple reason that there's no possible how. Other than that, whether he was naked with some hooker or not is none of anyone's fucking business, as per the exact definition of what "his room" even fucking is, what the fuck nonsense is this! [↩]
3. Not usually cocaine, but sure, why not. Lots of people are boring as fuck, and for that matter most women get naked to... drumroll... nothing special, take a bath, whatever. [↩]
4. What ?!

   What's this moron on about, seriously now, he's not condoning "it" ?! What the fuck, are there some missing pope hats in this grand design or what did I miss ? [↩]

5. Yeah, well, by now it's a whole pile-up of these idiots, using language like sepia uses ink. "La parole a été donné à l'homme pour déguiser sa pensée", as the prince once said. [↩]
6. The... what now ?! [↩]
7. Actually, prostitutes are preferable for this purpose, they're always new. [↩]
8. Dude -- holy hell! -- get the fuck over yourselves, all of you "popular sovereignity" fuckwits. What "advocate", what "punish" ? Go slap your dumb face while looking into a dirty mirror, what the everloving fuck impudence is all this. [↩]
9. There's no "system" and there's no "set up", and if I fuck your daugther while you jack off to porn it's not because "set-up", it's because nature. There's a fucking world of difference between self-important, self-centralizing wank and actual reality, aite ?

   Pro tip : you had no hand in it, whatever "it" is. None. You didn't "elect" a president, you didn't "create" or "set-up", there's no "system", get the fuck over yourselves, buncha idle useless impotent fuckwits going about pretending to shit that's, quite literally, "three moongates" away. [↩]

10. "This level" being pretty fucking lame wanna-be wank. [↩]
11. This is not the criteria for badness. In fact, beating some women given plain like that's probably a public service -- definitely most women ambling about the USGistani retard reservation would benefit immensely from a good beating. This is not even a novel observation -- Clark Gable even included it in a very popular film a century ago. It is indeed probable the whole place'd greatly improve if a few million stompdowns were delivered on a yearly basis for a few five-year plans going forward. [↩]
12. Dude, get THE FUCK over yourself, what the fuck. If "your entire existence" is to be called in question by some chick's momentary inconvenience, you should reconsider it altogether and right now, you belong here less than the pandas do. [↩]
13. Or you could just... leave ? Maybe that's a better solution, get the fuck out of the insanity with one shrug and no cares, go somewhere people aren't this fucking bored with existence altogether ? [↩]
14. I thought not giving a shit about going to jail's a required prior to even living in the Inca lands, seeing how it's the one place in the world where anyone could in principle go to jail at any time.

    Why would you live there if you cared about going to jail ?! Why not go somewhere where they only put in jail people who aren't you according to some criteria instead ? [↩]

15. Suppose alternatively the bitches could swear off being obnoxious ? Or is that not on the pantsuit table like ever ? [↩]
16. Maybe it's just not being a total pencildick dork, tweezer-fucking himself while reading crap on omg.yahoo.com ? [↩]
17. Oh, rules, right, right, some obnoxious chicks got together and produced three romcoms and The Book Of Rules, and every Ballas in the land's now bound to obey.

    Where's all this shit come from, anyways ?! [↩]

18. People aren't equal, get the fuck over it. Prostitutes exist principally to be punched. In most cultures that's why they exist at all. [↩]
19. Holy hell what the fuck, nobody punched anyone yet "because the cocaine made them do it". What utterly alien come from beyond complete ignorance nonsense is this ?!

    What next, the water you drank made you float ? [↩]

20. Why ?

    Seriously now, a world where nobody gets punched ever is desirable or something ? Is he insane ?

    Keep punching people, by all means, the larger the population the more punches are needed to keep things going smoothly, and if you ever quit (or even merely slacken) you get Portland. [↩]

21. Yeah, that's very much exactly how mothers "trying to protect" behave : they transform into starlets and go chasing like wild banshees after any black rectangle with a blinking red light attached. Just how fucking dumb is this dork ?! [↩]
22. And why not ?

    Has this dude ever faulted a cunt ? I don't mean some old mayogendered could-be-the-mayor alleged female. Has Ballas ever said the bad about a hottie, ever ? [↩]

23. No dude, not "sure they want to" ; "what fucking fans ?"

    That's the only question here, this is 1990s Zsa Zsa Gabor we're talking about, not some kinda Nicole Kidman, always-bigger-than-Tom sorta juggernaught. The only reason she exists at all is that she happens to look kinda like a popular 1950s doll, that's all. [↩]

24. It's certainly why "it isn't him" -- too pussyfooted to even trash a hotel room.

    See ? [↩]

25. "Ladies" ?! What, the cunts got ennobled sometime I wasn't looking ?! [↩]
26. He certainly sounds way the fuck better than you do.

    Yes, because he beats them. [↩]

27. Speaking of which, a solo shot of the meth-head is probably not sufficiently descriptive. Here :
    [↩]
28. What the fuck should he stop and why should he, again ?

    Obviously he should stop hanging out with all these idiots with panties glued on, and generally being a dorky poseur and me-wannabe -- but not in the sense of turning into fucking Ballas, lawds' mercy! [↩]