The Exceptionalist

Wednesday, 12 June, Year 11 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

"You have to be careful what you say around John. He's an Exceptionalist."
"What the hell is that ?"

"Oh, nothing... I just call it that. It's like a pet name."
"Ha! I thought it's a college degree or something. So you and John..."

"No, no, nothing like that. But you'll see, he gets to asking you pointed questions..."
"God, I hate when they do that..."

"He really doesn't take well to being cut off, either. But the worse part isn't the questions themselves. The worse part is that if he doesn't like your answer -- and he can not like the answer for any reason, mind you, the most obscure, impredictable and unexpected things will set him off. Not to mention he will pick any random part of whatever's going on to stand for your answer, he'll freely disregard what you say because a crow didn't fly right in the background or who knows what..."
"This sounds terrible."

"Wait, that's not the worst part. The worst part is that if he decides he doesn't like your answer, he'll just throw an exception and that's that."
"What do you mean that's that ?"

"It's hard to explain. I've been watching it happen for a long time now, and it still doesn't... basically, the world just stops. Then he plucks you out of it. Altogether. Then the world recompiles itself and continues. You understand me ?!"
"No."

"It continues! Without your ever having been here at all!"
"This doesn't make any sense."

"I know."
"But wait, wait. So John can just throw up his arms whenever any little thing doesn't matter which goes maybe slightly not exactly his way."

"Basically."
"And everything magically changes to suit."

"Yes."
"And in this best of all possible worlds -- for John, in this world literally tailored to his every whim, John is a... what the hell is he, even ?"

"Senior Techniconsultant."
"A fucking grease monkey in a basement somewhere! Nobody's even exactly which. Are you freakin' kiddin' me ?!"

"Unbelievable, isn't it ?"
"It's not even believable. At all! I mean... you smoke a lot, don't you ?"

"That doesn't even have anything to do with anything!"
"Whatever. Listen, I have to get on top of those reports, Boss will have my ass. Hmm... that didn't come out quite right."

She takes a moment to chuckle to herself, then barely audibly, as she's walking out the break room door, "come out, get it ?"

"I'll be seein' ya" offers the other in her wake ; then "I call you Sarahs, just so you know", also barely audibly, and by now well outside of Sarah's earshot.

Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte
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