Oslo, that unredeemably sad shithole

How do we even start this discussion ? Well... when in doubt, use a quote. Here :

asciilifeform: mp_en_viaje: i can't resist to ask, why went to oslo ? what's there, other than tomb of naggum ? ( i dun even know where it is, cannot help to either piss on it or to put flower )
asciilifeform: afaik it was 'europe's worst shithole' even in 19th c. competed with bucharest.
mp_en_viaje: i dunno... it was there

What he says may even be true -- for one thing, you don't breed inbred morons to this standard of useless tembelismⁱ in a mere few generations. It took the "confederate" Southern states well over a century to achieve that peak of implosive imbecility where they willingly an' cheerfully turned off their own exports years and years before the Union was anywhere near strong enough to do it for themⁱⁱ because "King Cotton" and assorted bugaboos. It is thus perfectly possible that indeed the norwegians have been Europe's negros -- stupid and inconsequential, impotent and misguided -- for many, many years prior ; and that ~nobody knew about it before exactly in the way I never knew about it before : through sheer lack of giving a shit.

Nevertheless, what I say is strictly the only way anything is ever found or discovered. There's always perfectly good reasons not to do, not to go, not to try, not to say. There's hardly ever any good reasons to do, or say, prospectively, which is why education and slavery are indistinguishable : the good reasons only ever come in retrospect, like the life well lived. And so, here I am, in Oslo, finding out first hand some facts rather "toxic" to the femstate's hallucinations.

First off, norway is exceedingly expensive. A cab tripⁱⁱⁱ from their sad tiny airport 20 miles out of town set me back 150 euros. A bottle of (very shitty) mineral water in an unpretentious very pretentious^iv convenience store costs five dollars. Oranges fit for pitching, old, tired, are proposed towards retail at ten dollars a kilo -- a ridiculous proposition buttressed by the sad reality that no fruit fit for human consuption are to be found anywhere^v. So ongoing in this vein, and that's where you start noticing the fraying edges of the pantsuit "northern system" delusion : on the basis of extremely well developed infrastructure, Europe enjoys extremely cheap transportation. The plane tickets taking me from Budapest's very elegant Ferenc Liszt^vi to Oslo's deeply rural Gardermoen set me back the same hundred fifty euro a head. And yet... the train connecting Oslo's central trainstation^vii to the same airport costs 196 kroner one way, which, at the local rates (a topic we'll get back to) works out to just about thirty dollars. For twenty miles! Six quarters per track mile! Per person! See... this has nothing to do with me being rich and going for strange anymore. This is the mass transit system!

As you might've figued out by now, things can be expensive for many reasons ; but in norway the reason things are expensive is the cost of living with and among idiots.

It's not a matter of things being expensive because of wealth and success. That goes differently, which is to say like so : were it so expensive to get oranges all the way to over here and had everyone here so much ready money, then the price of oranges might be seen to almost double the average elsewhere, in spite of lots and lots of the country's best and brightest going into some kind of orange-importing business on reaching adulthood ; and one'd have to also consider that the quality of oranges found here is not matched by any other place, because the high costs involved act as a buffer : a ten percent premium on orange price for orange quality that'd be experienced as such in the orange countries is here so diluted by other incidentals that it manifests as much less, permitting the locals to pay large premiums in their import markets and therefore resulting in the best quality product being always shipped here. You know, like how the tuna-Japan relationship works.

Those italicized are the important elements in a discussion of "expensive by reason of genuine economic difficulties backed by wealthy market". This is how pomodori ended up called "golden fruit" in Italian : that notwithstanding the exceptional difficulty of getting tomatoes to the Venetian market, nevertheless the presence of people there capable and willing to pay the weight in gold for that fruit ensured the best tomatoes in the world were to be had in fucking Venice. And so with spices and everything else that made the age of sail the age of trade.

Such is not the situation in norway, but on the exact contrary : because everyone here is a complete shithead and utter moron, still alive merely because nobody else could yet be found to waste good bullets on such pointless quarry, they get exactly what Argentina gets : everyone's surplus goods. The year Seinfeld backs out of a deal to advertise the puffy shirt, leaving a bunch of puffy shirterias all over New Jersey in the lurch and some entrepreneur sitting on a bunch of shirts nobody wants or could possibly be persuaded to take for love or money, that's the year norway gets a large shipment of "fashionable" shirts from abroad^viii. Because stupidity is always the default last resort, once love and money both fail.

Sitting around here, watching everyone be poor but proud, stupid but pretentious, I was suddenly reminded of that scene in Argentina where I was waiting in a shop for a bou ahead of me to finish his intricate three dollar transaction buying a pair of socks on credit, involving internet access and complicated machinery and engineering all because his mommy didn't give him a cash allowance and what's he to do. That bou, an argentinian aged in the 50s and going about the world masquerading as an academic, with the stupid "respectable" shirt and the idiotic "respectable" bag on the shoulder and the "academic" facial hair and glasses etcetera, no doubt imagined himself some sort of expert, ready to sit on EU or UN or WE^ix "committees" and "direct" and blablabla.

This is all of them, sitting around, waiting for someone to give them money to fuck up, and meanwhile running up debt because (inexplicably !!1eleven) nobody does ever come. Not even the people who came here to stay a month, they're (inexplicably!!!) leaving the very next day. But one day someone will give the norwegian trabajadores free money, just like the argentines, just like all the rest of them. Why have you no faith in the haymasfuturo ?^x

The locals' life in norway is exactly the inpatients' life in an US hospital. They're here on credit, surrounded by things they can not afford but may occasionally get for reasons that to them are entirely opaque, through certain absurd (in the strictest sense of absurdity -- inexplicable, perfectly opaque to the mind) bureaucratic proceedings. It's not that they've "built a cashless culture", it's most pointedly and quite strictly they do not have any money.^xi At all. It's not a matter of optionality at all, the norwegians simply spent all the cash they had a few years ago and do not know of any ways to get any more. That is it.

Of course, the arabs and negros actually running the country, and actually doing things (including, no doubt, occasionally deigning to even accept the proposals of aspiring young norwegian slavegirls), they -- do have money. This consideration is made all the more manifest by the circumstance that when I pointed and laughed at the local morons' sad excuses for exchange houses, trading 9.2 / 10.4 and such amusing nonsense^xii, the place an arab boy sent me to, owned by some distant relation no doubt, had a competent Korean cashier at the ready to negotiate. They, the "immigrants" / conquerors, they have money alright, no reason to "cashless" whatsoever.

The only possible closing of this article is to point out that "norwegians" as an... what the fuck would we call it ? It's not an ethnic group, they're just a bunch of Swedes who saw [what they thought was] an opportunity towards scamming their countrymen and ran with it, a few decades ago. The only proper thing they can be called is a DOC, a norwegian girl is just like a bottle of Bordeaux : the name's supposed to communicate to you that some cursory effort went into verifying it comes from where it claims.

So : the norwegians as a DOC are ending fast. If you're interested in picking up some white slave girls, come here for a (short, believe me) Summer stay, pick among the garbage and ship your choice out. Bearing in mind however that contrary to whatever misguided reports you might've heard, the biologic quality of the norwegian slave isn't anything remarkable. They're either overweight or excessively underweight, they're not particularly cute nor are tits a thing here. I suppose they are generally tall-ish (though nowhere near what your imagination might lead you to expect, they're on average an inch over the average maybe) and they can grow asses like any female can grow an ass if she does the movements systematically enough, but honestly...

There's really no point to norway ; expect it to be discontinued in the mid term.

1. Turkish word for indolent idiocy. [↩]
2. And not even as a government-mandated idiocy, where individual morons could in principle and theory hide behind ye olde "Hitler told me to do it ; what could I, mere cowardly abomination upon humanity do but obey". No, this was very broadly popular consensus, "we dedicate our lives to this obscure if inconvenient nonsense, it permeates all around us through our own lazy, indulgent negligence, therefore this is what the world is, therefore how could anyone else not give shit one!!!" [↩]
3. This isn't what you imagine -- get out of airport, hail cab. Look what they do here :

   

   That fat atrocity on the extreme left is... distributing the dole. The morons on the right, easily a thousand of them, are sitting in line for a cab.

   Needless to say I did not do this ; but importantly enough -- they did. All of them did. This is what they do, in socialist paradise : they queue. They queue today like they queued thirty years ago, and "skeptical" voices thinly veiling their evil under "reason" and other such borrowed trinkets voice their "concern" : maybe the Romanians want to queue in front of the shop that doesn't have meat ? Maybe that's why they applaud the guy ?

   That guy that got fucking shot, and was called a tyrant, you remember. Do you remember ? [↩]

4. See, here's the thing : everywhere else, the item in question would be called "unpretentious", it had that air of sad neglect and forgotten edges typical of discount korean kwikimarts. But what the word unpretentious actually means, notwithstanding that calling convention, is very much at odds with norwegian reality : what would you call a store purporting to sell terrible wine for fifty to three hundred a bottle ? The word is "pretentious", am I right ? This is how we say "pricey shit only a moron would buy" in this language, "pretentious". Well... [↩]
5. Nor indeed anything else. Take any item you will choose, the packaged nuts say -- they had been sitting on the shelf for decades, perhaps for decades since whatever airline abandoned them as ancient garbage. But you don't get to find this out until you open the package and gaze in amazement at the discolored, withered contents ; and the locals (I suspect) don't get to find this out ever, for lack of any experience with any actual products of human industry, as opposed to the garbage discarded through what's usually known as the surplus mechanism in functional economies. [↩]
6. Yeah, that's right, he's a Hungarian to them. Everyone is. [↩]
7. An ugly concrete atrocity, directly reminiscent of Buenos Aires civil engineering. It's literally a jumble of decaying concrete that looks like it was set there by the soviets, covered in assorted industrial debris, mostly spindled metal and such. Plain pressboard blocking all holes, sometimes six meters long, and call it good, or at least good enough. [↩]
8. And they'll retail in the stupid market for n times per unit what they'd have sold in the fashion market, had they sold there ; except they'll take three decades to sell and never make anyone any money in the process. [↩]
9. Whatever else. [↩]
10. The future looks indeed fucking grim, everyone engaged in any kind of productive or useful activity here is either arabic or black, the norwegians subsist as a temporarily tolerated useless class. Precisely like in Argentina.

    The younger generation is aware of it, too, upon seeing my pile of euros the receptionist at the lulzy hotel-that-wasn't out and out begged me to take her with, "she has friends, she can trick them into slavery too!!" as her principal notion of what a sweetener might be.

    No, I'm not fucking kidding, not at all ; and yes she has a point, but I wasn't fucking interested. [↩]

11. There are deep reasons from the other direction, too. The "perfect socialism" that is the hospital, run as it is upon the fundamental socialist cleavage between benefit and responsibility, has perfectly comprehensible reasons for driving the cost of the aspirin over nine thousand per unit. And no, you're not getting better aspirin in the US insurance-run hospital, just like you're not getting better oranges in Norway. [↩]
12. I even asked one of the morons, "you think you're that interesting, to get a 15% spread ?!" ; his retort was that "he can not get into the system to change anything". See, impotence as an excuse, what if Romanian exchanges work on the THIRD digit of any currency, what if I trade euros at 4.795/4.796 RON as a typical format ? This has no bearing, norwegians are speshul, especially in the head. [↩]