So I went to a nice place in the middle of nowhere. Because hey, what's the point of pristine nature, great beaches, jungle untouched by the axe of man, great views etcetera if you're not going to have your grappa and San Pelegrino and imported rum and cigars and on it goes, a lengthy list ?
Here, let's get on the same page :
Above, crocodile. He was quite friendly, and didn't even try to bite at all.
Below, nice place.
So we sit down, and the waitress wants to know how I learned Spanish. From girls, I tell her. She may not be particularly endowed, but sports a pretty smile if you look past the braces, and a great attitude. Attitude is pretty much the main thing, as you perhaps know, so I ask her where she learned English in exchange.
She admits that it was her novio, and she volunteers that she's got tired of it after three, almost four years. He did take her to see Florida (but not Europe), and he even showed up every 22 days to novio all over her! I propose that's kinda not enough for a young woman, and she agrees -- by the way if you're starting to get antsy let me put your itch to rest : the crabs are coming.
So I ask her if she'd like to go out with us, which she would, brings us free cake, does some research, finds the only thing happening that night anywhere there (karaoke, but of course) and so on.
Let's continue with the visuals. Underneath, the sea. Above, the girl. In between, the crabs.
Time for a short interlude, while I show you the birdy.
You have to be ready first.
Are you ready first ?
Alright, here goes...
The next thing is going to be... the birdy!
But let's continue our detour, down to the very beach depicted above :
Isn't it romantic ?
Not depicted, the cunnyrub bench, somewhere further up the path. It's glorious, basically a bench overlooking a three hundred meter drop through the jungle into the ocean, where you can spread your knees and rest your back while I play with your clit.
Care are clit. Cacare n-are...
But anyway, enough peristalsis, let's get to the crabs. Here you are :
Above and below : craci, the crabby habitat. Do you know how "to spread your knees" goes in Romanian ? I bet you don't. Or rather -- I bet you didn't.
Above and a coupla below : spurious beach shots. Because I can, cun't I.
Finally we are ready to get crabs in earnest.
The first thing you need to get crabs (the MP way) is an erect stick.
It doesn't have to be very big, nor does it have to be all that straight. It's even ok if it's wet.
You grab it firmly in hand, and you apply it insistently into the crack. As depicted :
Eventually you extract the crab. You can place it where hair goes, such as for instance your hat. The legs are naturally scarlet.
Above : further spurious beach shots. Ain't it pretty tho ?
Below : spot the lifeform. Tip : it's slippery and wet. Pro tip : schlllllurrrp.
Above : crab not yet got awaits its getting. Take hold of your stick and stuff it in the hole.
Below : Yes.
Above : tree impersonates reptile.
Below : I don't have have ni puta idea what the fuck this is. It appears rather like what some aliens might imagine a totally unremarkable earthling fly-bug-thingee might look like, because they read so in their bok. The damn thing ~actually flies~, too! Anyone know what this is ?
Antigoat tree waves you good-bye. So do I.
PS. I am happy to report Rae is well on her way to enslavement ; which she's both aware of, perfectly happy with, and entirely unaware of. How does she manage this ? She's female, what!