So I went for a spell to the beach, right ?
Did I ever tell you about my tyres, by the way ? They're special order, brand Kumho. No kidding, that's what it says on them, an alternate spelling of Cum Whore. The [very competent] guys at the pit stop assured me they're the best, top of their shelf.
There's only one slight problem with them : whenever you let out air (such as for instance because you're attaching the lighter-powered little red frog guy that measures pressure / pumps air) it smells of stale cum like you wouldn't believe. It reeks! No kidding. How the hell anyone would manage to get cum past the valve and into the tubes (yes, my car rides on tubed tyres, because fuck "progress", I don't want it) is anyone's guess, but a fact's a fact. Biodiversidad, amirite ?
But let's not get distracted here, we were discussing cum hos and tyres. So! Earlier on the road (driving to the beach, you recall) there was this car up front, some Kia or some other dumb bimbo fare like that, and it kept sliding off the road. It was plain that through no direct prodding of the bimbo driving it, the car just naturally slid left. The poor idiot at the wheel kept steering it back towards the line, but as soon as she released whoop, there it went, back towards the ditch.
And then we noticed : the dumbass had wide tyres on one side, but narrow tyres on the other side. No joke. This actually happened, and I don't think it could've occured anywhere else.