Discordatum Wormatiense

Friday, 12 January, Year 10 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

Chordata is how you say "spined" (as opposed to "spineless") in Latin ; whereas coarda is how you say whore in Romanian. Of course ; and not by happenstance but necessarily.

These two unrelated datapoints will serve here to create a wholly imaginary etymology for "discordatum", and to underline the fundamental and unyielding substance of the pantsuit "concordatum"i, their spurious "solution" to a well resolved problem.

But first, let's take the time to rigorously define our terms. So, in any sexuate species, there will necessarily be one productive and one improductiveii sexiii. Consequently it will be the chief strategy of one sex to manipulate the environment, and the chief strategy of the other sex to sit around on its (therefore larger) ass and await for the metaphysical transcendent to manifest itself.

This much is self-evident and deductively necessary on the basis of the given premises, and therefore inescapable. That the mainpulative sex will go about pretending the inept sex is "truly manipulative", that the inept sex will go about pretending that rape's at least slightly less legitimate than pregnancy... The advantage, dubious such as it is, of a brainbox dangling from the anticaudal end of that chord is that its bearers get to tell themselves whatever stories get them through the night ; and I earnestly hope it works for you as well as it works for them.

Back to the issue of interest, as around the hearth so in the heavens, or rather -- as in the chord's caudal end so in the other one. As society becomes sufficiently complicated, which is to say as the individuals composing the group become sufficiently lazy and self-absorbed, there will be a split among the avocations : some will occupy themselves in jobs of the inept, sitting on their ass waiting for things to happen, and some others will occupy themselves in jobs of the manipulative, going about fucking things up for everyone forevermore. Such is life, also inescapably, but if it helps you any I believe the Pantsuit Concordatum on Terminology calls the former "priestly class" and the latter "warrior class". Not that it makes any difference.

Now then, the bullshit of 1122iv was a relatively unimportant event whereby an "agreement" was reached on how to dispose of matters already well disposed at that time. The correct solution, put forth by the Waiblingen side and actually agreed to by the chief pantsuitv of 1111 -- thereby becoming the only proper, and only possible Concordat -- held that the idle class may await the second, third or whicheverth coming at their pleasure or until they fall over, whichever comes first, but may derive no secular anything whatsoever from it no matter what happens. The subjection of the Mother, if you will, complete and unyielding, equating Lucy with utter and completely destitute poverty in perpetuity.

For reasons incomprehensible and which directly and immediately map upon evil, the idle class then proceeded to imagine an alternative chain of events, in which their fork of 1122 somehow "took over" and "mattered" and therefore there shall be some kind of something in this world for they awaiting the manifestations of the next, a little, no matter how little, an epsilon quanta of nothingness but something nevertheless.

To say that this nonsense is disputed by the Republic would do the situation no justice whatsoever. The correct statement is to observe that the Discordat of Worms is a concordat of no one with nobody in particular, and of no further interest. The awaiting of the manifestations of metaphysical transcendence is and will forever remain a purely spiritual activity, with no lands and no secular offices affixed thereby.

No so se mi spiego.

———
  1. Which was how they said "community consensus" (aka fecal matter) in 1122. []
  2. The selection of where to attach the provided "productive" and "improductive" labels stands at your option, however the system itself does not. To quote Mimi,

    - Signora Mardocheo. Le baccio le mani.
    - Che bacci cani.
    - Cammina. Ora tu devi venire en chiesa con mi.
    - Tutto quello che voglio parlar' con ti ti parlo con l'avvocato.
    - Aaaa, non e' piu tempo d'avvocati. Questa creatura innocente, porta il nome mio o no ? E allora, ci devono vedere tutti, comme quella grande famiglia che siamo.
    - No. Io con te non ci vengo.
    - Cammina o ti porto a calci.

    - O te! Ma che cosa e che voi fare, sei matto ?
    - Io a questa bottana ci mangio il cuore!
    - Zitta, cammina. Questa non c'entra.

    - Brigadiere Amilcare Finocchiaro! Permetette due parole ?
    - State dicendo a me ?
    - Si signore, a voi. Brigadiere Finocchiaro, dico proprio a voi. Si non vi disturba, le permetette due parole ?
    - Ma io sto entrando en chiesa.
    - E cosa de un momento. Quando... per mettere a posto le cose a la luce del sole, qua en piazza, davante a gli amici, come se debe fare per gentilomini. Datosi, come tutti sanno, che la creatura de la mia signora e figlia a voi, e che quale que la vostra signora maturische de qualche giorno e figlia mia... si siete d'accordo, quando nasce, quando zgraba, ce l'ho scambiamo. A voi il vostro, e a me il mio. A cosi mettemo a posto tutta 'sta confusione d'onore, di tradimenti, prego, regolarizziamo. E poi como se dice -- un bastardo per uno no fa male a nessuno. Io no so se mi spiego.
    - Ne', che sta dicendo ? Che sta dicendo! Che dice!
    - Te ho' rida', maritu' mi bello! Tu mi h'ai fatti corni a mi, si ? E invece io ti h'o fatti corni a te! E, si! Sei cornuto, brigadiere!

    Now then, shall I translate or do you already know what it says ? []

  3. The cultural constructs of gender are not yet interesting here. []
  4. Pompously called "the Concordat of Worms" in pantsuit sources, as fucking if. []
  5. Paschal 2, who then reneged, of course. []
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7 Responses

  1. Since note v is so obscure, here is the English text:

    Paschal's Privilege (February 12, 1111)
    Bishop Paschal, servant of the servants of God. To his beloved son Henry and his successors, forever.

    It is both decreed against by the institutions of the divine law, and interdicted by the sacred canons, that priests should busy themselves with secular cases, or should go to the public court except to rescue the condemned, or for the sake of others who suffer injury. Wherefore also the apostle Paul says: "If ye have secular judgments constitute as judges those who are of low degree in the church." Moreover in portions of your kingdom bishops and abbots are so occupied by secular cares that they are compelled assiduously to frequent the court, and to perform military service. Which things, indeed, are scarcely if at all carried on without plunder, sacrilege, arson. For ministers of the altar are made ministers of the king's court: inasmuch as they receive cities, duchies, margravates, monies and other things which belong to the service of the king. N"ence also the custom has grown up-intolerably for the church-that elected bishops should by no means receive consecration unless they had first been invested through the hand of the king. From which cause both the wickedness of simoniacal heresy and, at times, so great an ambition has prevailed that the episcopal sees were invaded without any previous election. At times, even, they have been invested while the bishops were alive. Aroused by these and very many other evils which had happened for the most part through investitures, our predecessors the pontiffs Gregory VII. and Urban 11. of blessed memory, frequently calling together episcopal councils did condemn those investitures of the lay hand, and did decree that those who should have obtained churches through them should be deposed, and the donors also be deprived of communion-according to that chapter of the apostolic canons which runs thus: "If any bishop, employing the powers of the world, do through them obtain a church: he shall be deposed and isolated, as well as all who communicate with him." Following in the traces of which (canons), we also in an episcopal council, have confirmed their sentence. And so, most beloved son, king Henry,-now through our office, by the grace of God, emperor of the Romans,-we decree that those royal appurtenances are to be given back to thee and to thy kingdom which manifestly belonged to that kingdom in the time of Charles, Louis, and of thy other predecessors. We forbid, and under sentence of anathema prohibit, that any bishop or abbot, present or future, invade these same royal appurtenances. In which are included the cities, duchies, margravates, counties, monies, toll, market, advowsons of the kingdom, rights of the judges of the hundred courts, and the courts which manifestly belonged to the king together with what pertained to them, the military posts and camps of the kingdom. Nor shall they, henceforth, unless by favour of the king, concern themselves with those royal appurtenances. But neither shall it be allowed our successors, who shall follow us in the apostolic chair, to disturb thee or thy kingdom in this matter. Furthermore, we decree that the churches, with the offerings and hereditary possessions which manifestly did not belong to the kingdom, shall remain free; as, on the day of thy coronation, in the sight of the whole church, thou didst promise that they should be. For it is fitting that the bishops, freed from secular cares, should take care of their people, and not any longer be absent from their churches. For, according to the apostle Paul, let them watch, being about to render account, as it were, for the souls of these (their people).

    from MG LL, folio II, pp. 68 ff, translated in Ernest F. Henderson, Select Historical Documents of the Middle Ages, (London: George Bell and Sons, 1910), pp. 405-407

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    2
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 20 August 2018

    Sa fie primit.

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