Chicks in pantsuits winning arguments with yours truly, a comedic goldmine of lulz and tears.

Somewhat a continuation of Lord MP of TMSR and the plebeian princess club, I guess :

Kin-kyyyK 22F Exploring I had every intention of answer this message without being rude but considering you couldn't be bothered to show the same courtesy......
Firstly, if you read my profile AT ALL you'd know that I'm not interested in any men. I'm engaged and am only interested in adding women to my sexual relationship.
Secondly, do NOT EVER come in my inbox (or anyone for that matter) without any preface of who you are or any inkling that you're interested in me as a person.
I don't know if something about my photo (bc obviously you couldn't take to time to look at my page) intrigued you to the point you felt you had some kind of authority here or if you just messaged a bunch of random hoping to get a bite, but this isn't the way to do it.

The Exalted Great Lord Me etcetera Looky, reading up on how you're working to get other chicks interested in whatever loozer you're shagged up with isn't worth anyone's time.

Kin-kyyyK 22F Exploring So why message me at all? Go fuck yourself.

The Exalted Great Lord Me etcetera Because maybe you wake up and smell the coffee. But anyway, no need to get uncivil about it. Let's simply say we discovered we really have nothing to say to each other.

Then and only then she rageblocked me. Because the problem with the shitty phones they use is exactly this : everything takes 10x the effort and 100x the time (hey, they're retarded, it is not without consequences), meaning that I have ample opportunity to leisurely shoot off a fifty word reply before they manage to get through the intricate procedure of clicking one button. Fun, huh!

Anyway, there's lots and lots and lots of these. In fact, it's pretty much even odds that some chick "looking" for "girls only" is actually looking on behalf of some dork who figures it's safer this way. Because, to quote Marylin,

I'm not very bright, I guess. I'm just dumb. If I had any brains, I wouldn't be with this crummy girls' band. I used to sing with male bands, but I can't afford it any more. Have you ever been with a male band? That's what I'm running away from.I worked with six in the last two years, but I can't trust myself. I have this thing about saxophone players. Especially tenor sax. I don't know why, but they curdle me. All they have to do is play eight bars of "Come To Me, My Melancholy Baby" and I get goose-pimply all over. And I come to 'em! Every time! That's why I joined this band. Safety first. Anything to get away from those bums. You don't know what they're like. You fall for 'em. You think this is gonna be the biggest thing since the Graf Zeppelin. The next thing you know, they're borrowing money from you, spending it on other dames and betting on horses. Then one morning you wake up, the guy's gone, the sax's gone. All that's left is a pair of old socks and a tube of toothpaste all squeezed out. You pull yourself together, you go on to the next job, the next saxophone player. It's the same thing all over again. You see what I mean? Not very bright.

In short, chicks are dumb -- because if they weren't, the species'd have ended long long ago.

But moving on...

Subject : Eww
Unicornslaughter 27F Switch Don’t be gross to my friends you piece of shit

The Exalted Great Lord Me etcetera Who are you again ?ⁱ

Unicornslaughter 27F Switch Never mind that, let’s talk about who you are.

Some ‘Dom’ type who goes around messaging submissive women and telling them to serve you.

Does it get you off? Make you feel powerful? It really shouldn’t. If you need to sink that low to get off, you’re clearly not all that.

You really shouldn’t be in the BDSM scene if that’s how you’re going to treat people. Take a good, long, look at yourself.

Stop being a fucking scumbag.

The Exalted Great Lord Me etcetera You're too old for me, sorry.

You see how polite I am ?

Anyway, I'll spare you the flurry of eleventeen angry follow-ups, they're pretty much the same tired old nonsense respun : the gods will punish me for this scandalous situation whereby retards' models fail to productively describe reality, which is wholly and entirely my fault because... she's wearing the pantsuit! Just like they told her to! What, there's more ?! But there couldn't be! Shit that works ain't gonna be working and I really "need" to do it stupidly instead because... omfg this really isn't fair and it shouldn't even really be happening, which probably means it isn't! Etcetera, etcetera, et...

Can you believe what abundance of clueless idiots ready and willing to give me fucking advice on how to conduct myself lies undiscovered in the great zone ? Seriously now, if I ever need someone to tell me just how to go about things, there's like a full million twentysomething clueless twats just waiting in the wings, ready to serve! Don't you find the thought comforting ?

After the dry heaving finally subsides, I mean. Don't you ?

1. Other than some chick retarded enough to still find herself mentally captivated by the cognitive models of early adolescence. At the ripe old age of TWENTY SEVEN! "Gross", seriously ?! [↩]