Se Vende Joyeria Fina

You think I'm kidding, aren't you.

I'm not fucking kidding. Here you go :

Quatro banos de rodeo, biatch! But wait... there's more!

For your curiosity, the dollar is about 600 or so. Apretado would normally denote something with camel toe, yes, but here it's just another sort of dulce de leche.

But let's leave the people with their miseryⁱ and focus on the flora instead :

Above depicted, a young papaya tree. In just a few short years the fruit will be growing absurdly to the side, looking rather like Kuzma's tits. I can't personally stand papaya, but I suspect I'm the only one.

Cactus with fruits and flowers. I've grown to appreciate this plant lately. Cacti are pretty cool, especially if you plant a line of them along a fence for privacy and then all sorts of clingy vines grow on them unplanted, producing a jumbled mess, and then song birdsⁱⁱ decide it's the best possible nesting spot in the world, so they colonize it and start engaging in birdy social behaviours such as standing guard, and taking colorful strips of god knows what back to their housy in great tremulous excitement. Maybe they're making a shower curtain and they've decided it must be yellow to go with the couch or something.

Gotta accessorize!

1. Yesterday climbing up a hill, we notice a pretty girl coming the other way. Nice wide hips, credible tits on an otherwise tall and slender frame, she looks about 17 or so. Girl intercepts her and inquires whether she knows any bars around. She heartily recommends this place about a half mile off. We know it, a danky, pompous restaurant always full of the local aspirational 20yo (jeans and elegant blouse!). I inquire if it's a bar or a restaurant, she admits it's a restaurant, I ask her if she knows a bar, a club, something like that. Where's da party at, beotch ?! She doesn't know. So what does she do for fun ? She doesn't know that either, but nothing like that. Woulds she like to come with us, then ? She can't. Well, have a good day then, neh ?

   Youth is generally wasted on the young. [↩]

2. We've still not really agreed on what the hell they are, somewhere between a crow with a buzzcut and a tucan with a modest beak.

   Did you know, by the way, tucans have this ridiculous hairdo like they're from the navy ? Gotta see one up close to notice, but it's the lol of all time. [↩]