Republican Flight Manual

That these are unordered is not a bug, it's a future.

• All take-offs are optional. All landings are mandatory.
• Flight is not inherently dangerous ; crashes are.
• Propellers are nothing more than large fans, installed there to keep the pilot cool. This is readily verified if they ever stop : the pilot starts sweating.
• When in doubt during flight, keep altitude. No one has yet managed to crash into sky.
• A good landing is one you can walk out of. An excellent landing is one which leaves the machinery involved in a repairable state.
• Learn from the mistakes of others, you won't live long enough to make them all yourself.
• If you need full engine power to taxi, it's possible you landed wheels-up.
• Operating aircraft in perfect safety requires the minute observation of three simple rules. Unfortunately nobody has yet figured out what exactly they are.
• Helicopters can't actually fly, they're merely so ungodly ugly the Earth is actively repulsed.
• If all you can see is a spinning horizon and all you can hear is excited screaming, it is conceivable the flight is not proceeding as planned.
• In the constant confrontation between man-made objects hurling themselves down at speeds of hundreds of kilometers per hour and the Earth hurling itself up at zero kilometers per hour, the Earth is still making progress.
• Proper thinking comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience comes from improper thinking.
• Everyone starts with a pouch full of good luck and an empty experience tank. The trick is to fill the latter before you empty the former.
• "My first life didn't like to fly either" is a fine label for the parachute hatch.
• Flying a plane is a lot like riding a bicycle. With some practice you can even stick baseball cards in the spokes.
• The odds against there being a bomb on your plane are significant ; but the odds against being two bombs on any plane are even greater. Next time you fly don't forget to pack a bomb for safety.
• There's a strict relation between the intensity of turbulence and the temperature of coffee.
• The common man is actually better equipped for flying on his own power than he is for making up his own mind.
• It's all in the cards : if you down a lot of enemy planes they'll call you an ace, if you down a lot of your own planes they'll call you a joker.

As you can probably guess, this is a work in progress.