Motto: Hugh Grant is probably going to show up at any moment.
I tried to watch this atrocityi because I don't know who recommended it and what for, I think it was supposed to be sexy or something. I made it as far as the scene where Lisa Kudrow, playing the same verbose waitress she always plays no matter what the bill says, sat down at some dude's table. Because totally, so many waitresses strike up conversations with random bums that look like they kiss speeding vehicles for a living found asleep at the table past closing time you wouldn't believe. And then they sit their ass in the booth uninvited, that's how waitressing goes, didn't you know. And hookers run arround kissing everyone in the brothel lobby. On the lips. And Lisa Kudrow is so fucking stupid it's a wonder she escaped the doll house.
Jessica Biel is a terrible actress. Leaving aside how bad the dialogue is, her delivery in that car is so incredibly inept it doesn't even qualify for arid. If someone told me she's the new Google bruteforce "AI" doing mechanicistic reading for the stage I'd have readily believed, because her performance is strictly below what you commonly see in freshman performance arts classes in two year community colleges. This spells the end for this woman's life, incidentally. Her maidenly charm is gone, the interest in looking up the underage preacher's daughter's skirt went with the smoke, all that's left now is a gauntii marionette that can't read.
Forest Whitaker is doing his usual quadriplegic routine, I'm guessing we're supposed to be so impressed he manages to shamble about in spite of the stroke we'll put up with all the obnoxious alien grimacing. How the hell did this walker make it off the set of Zombies Attack XVIII or whatever ?
I'm not even going to go into that paralytic Liotta. Guy's a mook, he strictly exists to be that dude in mobster films who has two lines of spoken dialogue, a quirky quirk and then gets shot to build up some other, up and coming, on a hero's journey, whatever subhero.
A final mention re hitting dogs : if you hit a dog with your car you might consider stopping. Maybe. If the owner's right there and you feel generous that day you might give him a twenty or something. If however the dog's running wild in the middle of nowhere in the road, you ain't fucking stopping. You ain't fucking touching the damned thing. You ain't fucking "saving it". If the dog's too dumb to know to stay out of the road, the dog's got no business existing. Certainly you don't get your fucking hearse towed because you're too busy walking down the highway coddling a dog in a blanket in your arms, what sort of batshit insane idiocy is this ?! Dogs aren't people, dogs are things. The sort of idiots who fail to comprehend this, like for instance Lisa Kudrow, also aren't people, but things. Stop trying to advertise your imaginary virtues to them, it's complete and utter waste.
I remember a time when "zombies" was what we called the idiots watching TV, and we thought Ben Stiller or Affleck or whichever of the obnoxious jews with his merry band of idiots were inept and insufferable. Meanwhile, the Idiot Mothership also known as the United States of Idiocy appropriated zombies conceptually, to show zombies zombie films about zombies zombying about ; and the obnoxious jew team of the 90s was replaced with an even more obnoxious bunch of polacks. Fucking burn the whole flea circus down to the ground, there's no further need for any Lisa Kudrows, Forest Whitakers, Patrick Swayzes, Kris Kristoffersons or fucking Hugh Grant.
Off with their heads.———
- Powder Blue, by Timothy Linh Buy, with Ray Liotta and a bunch of retards. [↩]
- She looks like she's been dieting badly ; suspiciously just like Lisa Kudrow looks like she's been dieting badly. And they also share similarities in their reading manner, just Kudrow is naturally idiotic, whereas Biel seems rather just dull. The theory that the latter found in the former a mentor of sorts is not entirely without legs, on the strength of the observed record. The dull learning from the aggressively stupid, how's that for a summary of the US excursion in left wing politics this past half century ? [↩]