Jimmy Vestvood : Amerikan Hero
Jimmy Vestvood : Amerikan Heroi is a hysterical piece of pantsuit wank.
Fundamentally, the entire thing is built around the proposition that carefully selecting an exotic sounding list of names for the castii somehow confers upon the finished product legitimacy -- an argument exactly identical to pretending that an assemblage of quarterpounders with cheese and whoppers purchased in shops scattered all over Europe confers worldliness upon the meal.iii
This aside, about half the gags work (which is how gagmedyiv goes in the first place) and the half that doesn't work doesn't bother either, nor hinder nor irritate. The dude's 70s moustache and hysterical Depeche Mode era geddup make you readily forget that it's a little strange for an Irani expat to immediately know what a red car is supposed to do on a bystanding blondy, and what the whole lotion rubbing at the beach thing is all about. Did he learn it all off VHS tapes or what happened there ? And besides, chances are you're much too young to know who Gloria Guida was, or for the beach scene to scream La liceale al mare con l'amica di papa in your inner ear. Who is this Alvaro Vitaliv anyway ?!
We can't all be cultured and we can't all have refined taste. But even the precious few among us who are, and do, which is to say me in preference of you, nevertheless can, if so inclined, readily enjoy nonsense in this vein. And so it goes -- as an option for some, as choicelessness for most.
———- 2016, by nobody starring a very hot TV starlet (Deanna Russo, no relation to Rene, whose sister's name is Toni) & nobody else. [↩]
- Except, of course, for the pizda, because apparently (and contrary to evidence) there exist no hot Irani women.
(Rather the problem is obviously that Irani women are [permitted to be] exceedingly coy, which makes them useless and their society miserable, but why tackle serious problems in art. Cinema is for wanking and nothing above that, after all. Right ?) [↩]
- This was offered as such in a very important result of ESLtard cinema, and for the very good reason that while perfectly defective it is nevertheless utterly specific. Americanski Girl, teh sweet rose of Alabamy, has heard of a country named Hungry, but Turky ?!
Speaking of which, one of the dumbasses just asked "me" if I live in Duluth. Here :
Self-centeredness to the point of plain blindness is one thing, but for fucking Duluth ?! Really, dumbass likes more temperate climates ?
Now estimate the chances navelgrazing idiot actually reads this ; and when you're done with that 0%, estimate the chances she actually comprehends how fucking broken she is ; and when you're done with that 0% read Diana Coman's next installment of the EuCrypt story, to see right there plainly that no, it's not just some dumb ho. It's you. All of you. [↩]
- Gayngel!! [↩]
- You know he's still working, by the way ? [↩]
