Il bestione

Il bestioneⁱ is a very correct comedy describing the adventures of a pair of truck drivers -- an older guy whose even older previous partner got retired by the doctors, and a younger Sicilian jus' tryna make it in dis biznis.

For one corectness, sexual relations. There's this down to fuck brunette waitress that serves them an ample dinnerⁱⁱ, and then jumps the older guy's bones like that's what she was waiting for all week. In fact she even says so. Then there's this random farm girl that happens to see the younger guy piss, so he takes after her. She doesn't speak Italian, he doesn't speak German, but he plugs her in the barn like the most natural thing in the world. After all, the dick goes into the slit, neh ? It is the most natural thing in the world.

Then there's this blondy girlfriend of the older guy, who picks her up from her place of work as the most natural thing in the world while the younger one's spying (he was lonely!). After the young'un fails to find any tail on his own, he visits his good friend, who is laid flat by alcohol and fucking, so he lays into the girl. Who's all for it, notwithstanding she barely speaks Italianⁱⁱⁱ and she barely got done being worked over by the other one. But you know, "mi piace moltissimo".

The older guy finds out (by discovering a lost scarf) and then they fight, but you know, like friends fight. It's just fucking, you know ? The older guy also has a daughter, who falsely tells her mother she's taking classes from some neighbour woman in order to one day be a schoolteacher ; but in reality is out whoring the whole time, and for the plainly, explicitly stated correct reason^iv, at that!

The younger guy converts her naturally, and effortlessly. This may seem entirely mythological to you, any and all portions of it ; but then again so does everything European seem to the misfortunate USian, the cheese, the air, everything. Euro cunt works correctly, unlike UStardian preciously worthless cuntlet, what can I tell you. Or at least used to work correctly, back in 1974. Especially if Corbucci directed.

For another correctness, timing. I don't merely mean comedic timing, which is indeed judicious. Nay, the piece's tragic like all good comedies ever are, and the flimsy equilibrium between laughter and tears is entirely a matter of precise timing.

Definitely a film that must be watched. Preferably, if at all possible, in the company of well trained whores, but if those aren't available then some proper mates, whether truckers or not, might also work. If ever a film captured the essence and substance of working class solidarity and this isn't it, I'd very much like to hear which the hell other is it supposed to be!

1. 1974, by Sergio Corbucci, with Giancarlo Giannini, Michel Constantin [↩]
2. Did you know by the way that back in 1974 TIR drivers drank a whole bottle of wine with their lunch and then drove the truck, and somehow cancer was lower than today nevertheless ? Incredible what four decades of progress can achieve, wouldn't you say. [↩]
3. She's learned off records, she loves Italian pop. Imagine that! [↩]
4. She says that she feels she has to whore out because otherwise she's never going to meet the cool guys nor will she ever be rid of the suffocating idiocy her mother secretes. Smart girl. [↩]