"Today's Tuesday, all your friends are in PE just about now... come to think about it so are you, huh! Huh-huh-huh."
The anchor's voice had the gruff undertones of a steroid abuser, and his chuckle all the markings of mindlessness. Mike Judge might well have hired him.
"It went viral you know, that's what they call it. Every dude in town is gonna come over, I bet you there's dudes all the way out in Pikesville and Rosedale making up stories to tell their wives right now.
Oh honey, Jim's just texted me that I left my tyre iron in his lunch box, Ima run over and get it.
Then the wife lifts just one eyebrow and doesn't bother to voice her surprise that he even knows what a tyre iron is, last time he had a flat tyre they had to wait for the crew an hour and a half. And wasted the ballet tickets. Then he jumps in the sedan and skids all the way over here!"
She hummed a tune to herself, solidly anchored by him, stretched flesh pulsating to the barely visible rythm they call the pulse. He went on, and on, and on, droning indistinctly about things she might have otherwise recognized.
"... I bet you're pregnant by now. How many was it, did you even count ? I guess you'd have to be good at math for that, huh. Figure it out, you'll be the only one that doesn't make up a number because she doesn't like the real one. You'll be making it up because you simply have no idea..."
... with that many gallons of jizz up your snatch, if you're not pregnant by now there's definitely something wrong with you, isn't..."
The pulsing continued, the pendulation continued, the pullulation drew on. Maybe he was right, maybe every guy in town plus all of suburbia was coming over. Maybe it all came already. Twice.
"... maybe your Dad shows up. Or your annoying younger brother, Dennis. Jeez what a..."
She held on tight to the back of his shaved head, as he dangled her ass back and forth. Jeez reverberated through her mind, back and forth in the space between the ears. Jeez. Jeez. Jeez.
"... but the funny part is, they probably wouldn't even know who it was, you know ? Not like any of these guys look at your face, have you noticed ? They'd go back home like nothing happened, because of course for them nothing has, and then next week or whenever you'd show up and they'd have no idea. But you'd think about how they felt inside, wouldn't you. If you can even still feel anything, that is..."