My First Bitcoin, or How Do I Get Some Satoshi ?

One obvious approach would be to buy it. Nevertheless, this doesn't work for everyone. Maybe you've no money to spare, maybe you don't trust any of the fiat exchanges, maybe their patent insanity is making it impossible for you to buy.

Whatever the reasons - here's a list of alternative means of getting your hands on a few satoshi, bitcents, bitdimes and who knows, possibly whole Bitcoins :

• Play Eulora. Eulora is a Bitcoin-based MMORPG developed by MiniGame. You can download the latest client, check out the wiki or chat with the community. On the latest estimates you should make at least 100`000 satoshi/day playing. There's no maximum.
• Write for Qntra. Needing no further introduction, Qntra has been dominating Bitcoin news for years now. Accepted articles gain you shares at the end of the month ; shares currently trade at 0.00014970 BTC on MPEx, meaning a hundred word news report will net you close to ten dollars' worth of Bitcoin at the end of the month. If you manage one weekly, that's 213`857 satoshi / day in cold hard cash, not counting all the other benefits (such as for instance making a name for yourself). You'll have to talk to BingoBoingo in #trilema to get started.
• Go topless. Plenty of girls took up the challenge already, but there's always room for another pair of boobs. You can only do this once, but on the day you do it you'll get 1`000`000 satoshi for ten minutes' "work", if you can call it that.

The only question left is, why would you be wasting your time on faucets, PPC schemes and tired old boring cookie cutter videogames once you have this list ? Like they say in Latin America, "if you don't have Bitcoin, it's because you want to not have any!"