Millennial problems.

I've had people scour the interwebs looking for "what do those idiotsⁱ even understand of money ???". Unlike the idiots in question, my people deliver. Pars pro toto :

I'm not going to try and explain this. Much like humour, idiocy of the socially-supported sort is something you either see or else are drowning in. But provided you don't need it explained, do note that the idiot is actually aware he's failing all the time. It's not that the shared hallucination actually protects him from this realisation. It's true that the shared hallucination supports his bizarre misdirection of the source towards the outside, as if his insufficiency, inadequacy and fundamental state of doom is something to be tweaked away, as if he's one bulleted list, one diet and one "weird trick" away from no longer being insufficient, inadequate and fundamentally doomed. The lamb with a hairdo reading a self-help guide a week before Easter, Prikoke with Engels under one arm and Ziggler under the other, a Hiroshima woman protecting herself from the light in the sky with a silken umbrella carrying the all-important symbols for "wealth" and "good fortune" caligraphed expertly on its surface. Facing away.

The margins of the range are on plain display, evident to anyone but the "free"ranged. Really, seriously, honestly, "grappling, lifting, real estate, writing, etc" ? These aren't the same sorts of things, to begin with. That they ended up in an enumeration (WETHEPEOPLE BIKE CO. BMX bike ; Vespa LX50 moped ; cars ; spaceships) already indicates a certain narrowness of acquaintance with the world surroundentⁱⁱ. But that they're randomly culled into an enumeration that doesn't even have any sort of filumⁱⁱⁱ speaks loudly to inability - genetic, structural, objective. This herbivore will never be a human - not anymore than any other herbivore, and certainly not before Afanti will teach the potentate's donkey speech.^iv

As the Gypsy woman famously inquired, "do we wash it or do we make another ?". In this case, the retort is necessarily that you must make another - no river and no soap will ever wash these ones.

1. Yes, if you were born cca 1990s you're part of a demographic that's the first interpretation my people put on my saying "those idiots". Congrats! [↩]
2. Would it be "the world surroundent" or "the world surroundant" ? If you pick the wrong vowel, that's error predicated on unfamiliarity ; but if you don't even comprehend the meaning of the question, you're simply illiterate - no longuer a quantitative matter, but qualitative. Which is to say : no amount of practice will allow you to fix your inadequacy on the present bases. [↩]
3. Really, real estate and writing ? This shows that you've read nothing ; and built nothing. Nor ever will. [↩]
4. Do you know that story ? Let's recount.

   Nasreddin was truly and utterly poor, his house barer than his cupboard. One day, Nasreddin's wife had enough of her life and told him that he must go out, and bring something, lest they both die. So Nasreddin went out, and walked around for a long while, until eventually tired feet and grumbling stomach taught him the wonderous intricacies of courtship, and so, happening upon a rich man with an even richerly dressed donkey, begun to heap praise on the animal in the hope of making something of it.

   His praise evidently well received by the potentate, Nasreddin dared to test his chord, and asked if such a visibly talented donkey also speaks ? And to the owner's puzzled retort he explained that indeed some donkeys can be taught to speak, as he has heard from other wise men in other lands ; and then upon the rich man's insistence agreed to take the animal in for purpose of study and vocalisation, under the understanding that the ordeal will take a year, and the reward will be paid upfront.

   Without delay the donkey was sent to Nasreddin's house, along with its precious covers and dedicated solid brass trough, and other amenties ; Nasreddin went to the tavern and for the first time in many months ate well and drank better. Towards nightfall he made his way home, where the very worried woman that had seen her husband leave to abate starvation and then all manner of valuable, rare and precious matter come by itself into the house, was awaiting him awake.

   So she inquired what had transpired, and he told her the whole story. In her desperation she tried to find some way to undo the deed, but in his wisdom he reassured her : a year's a long time, who knows what may happen ? Maybe the donkey learns to talk ; or maybe the owner dies ; or God knows what else. [↩]