Bucuresti Non Stop

Motto : Who names a bar Cheers ?

Bucuresti Non Stopⁱ is a "Romanian realism" (aka unbridled magic) cinematic compression of that idiotic TV show. Specifically, a local gangland bossⁱⁱ intervenes in the lives of a bunch of retarded children (all named Gusti). He nominally is working a "non stop", which is to say a typically Romanian always-open convenience store-booth, whereby

• He understands the plight of an old otaku army colonel, and produces - literally, magically, through pure mindpower - a candle in the age of flash&fleshlights, for the man's dead wife.ⁱⁱⁱ This, the magical comprehension and the magical incarnation of the ideal object into sensible form, is the true attribute of the Romanian leader throughout the cultural history of that place, following twenty-some centuries unchanged along the sheep trails, through numerous formal appartenences to various "empires", flags and otherwise colorings. This, and the antipolitic humbleness [of he who is beyond the possibility of being honored by the hordes living].^iv
• He understands, inexplicably and without basis, the treason of the film's Judas, a Cristaxi cab driver who sells out a good girl / prostitute^v. She teases him lightly about spying on her cunny^vi as she's changing into train clothes ; she honestly regrets not having the time to throw him a freebie^vii ; he sings her escape plan to her rather miserable pimp^viii. Yet, under the magical leader's magical leadership, he also turns around, recoups the girl, gets her some food and her child^ix replacement candies. This, the power to redeem the Judas, is what makes the Romanian Ideal Leader better than Jesus.
• He is baffled by a kid. For all his arrayed powers, enough to make any god in any pantheon run away screaming for its ugly mommy, he is baffled by the adolescent male xenomorph. He does his best, which isn't much, and the result is a woman ranting on a disconnected line about her best intentions and past impregnation ; as well as a spirited bout of fucking. It's not much.
• He points out to two dudes who thought they were literate that they are not ; and a grandma could have read better than them. They split up under the pressure of this realisation. He gives a beer to the "loser" of that split, who also happens to be carrying all the value of the "team" of two^x (and, obviously, none of the cash).

The film itself is strictly incomprehensible to just about anyone ; and to those to whom it yields its intricate folds willingly and effortlessly, it is unimportant. It is, if you will, a whore with a heart of gold of a film. It knows this, and... well we couldn't properly say that "it doesn't mind", nor could we properly say anything that you'd readily understand. "Stop, si de la capat" says the outro, and so it is.

And so it goes.

1. 2013, by Dan Chisu, with Gheorghe Ifrim, Ion Besoiu, Olimpia Melinte. [↩]
2. Anachronistically, of my generation, twenty years off course. Some imund Depesar even fucking calls him "a rocker" in the hollowed expression "futu-ti gura ma-tii de rocker" - the expiating final gasp on life of many a feminist-metrosexual-discoheaded fucktards. [↩]
3. The film is far from perfect - for instance, the happenstance that the house of a 70yo woman whose principal fear was dying without a candle (it's an Orthodox thing) contained no candles, and the calm, positive, calculated, structured and altogether rational career officer tolerated this situation. [↩]
4. Famously, one Calogero played the town's fool, "appearing dim-witted to those who didn't know him". [↩]
5. The technical term is "whore with a heart of gold", except it doesn't really cover the subject anymore than her dresses usually do. [↩]
6. Pasarica, ie birdy in Romanian. [↩]
7. I've said it before, but it bears repeating : to the Romanian mind, it is both unseemly and degrading for a healthy woman to allow an erection to stand, for the obvious reason. It is a scandal to refuse if invited, but it doesn't stop there - it's even dubious to not invite oneself! Consequently, that offer is the fundamental pivot establishing the woman as Madonna, the pure-above-matter. [↩]
8. Who, incidentally, for all his vainglorious pretense, fails to impress the store-booth clerk ; who promises to have his head, and doubtless has his head as we speak. [↩]
9. To whom she was planning to escape, and you can tell from the conversation the child is a man and a substitute anchor in her world. [↩]
10. Throughout the movie he gives out freebies, in fact about 90% of the movement of that lowly store-booth is him giving the merchandise away. If that's a merchant I'm the pope. No, he owns the place, all of it, casa quantu stai style, the shop is just his pretext to be always on the street. Remember that, "always be closing" ? That's the job : always be close. [↩]