"Say my name, say my name..."
Motto: today i learned that mircea_popescu listens to destiny's child
Here's a random cull off tumblr no doubt worth ten thousand domestic arguments :
So now that we've settled down with some milk and cookies, ask yourself, why is it that you expect your boyfriend introduce you to his friends ? No, "because he's my boyfriend" doesn't really cut it as an answer, seeing how it's merely circular logic.i
Why do you expect his friends would be interested in meeting you, at all ? No, "because I am" is not a valid answer ; its properly explicited form of "because I am a person just like them" shows it to be mere pretense to an equality you have no reason to suspect and certainly no basis to expect.
Even admitting his friends might be interested in meeting you at all, why would you expect they'd have the faintest interest in meeting you on your own terms ? This isn't a discussion of how negotiation of terms might in principle fail, but more fundamental than that : what makes you think they'd be even interested in hearing what your own terms might be, at all, so they can be rejected knowingly rather than offhand ?
Chafe as you might under the unforgiving Trilema yoke, but know that good quality answers to the above questions are the only way to avoid being the social equivalent of a dumbel attached, to their detrimentii, to someone's arm.
There are worse fates than not having your delusions of identity validated, you know.———
- Specifically : if your definition of the word "boyfriend" is alligned with the common usage of the term ("male to whom I submit sexually"), and therefore impersonal, then it contains no allowance to support your answering the question this way. Meanwhile if your definition of the word boyfriend is personal, something along the lines of "male that introduces me to his friends" then you're misusing a common word. [↩]
- Yes, Xenophon's miserably behaved slave helped him in his own estimation be a better philosopher, but not everyone aims to be or even could or should be a philosopher, not to mention another Xenophon. [↩]
Sunday, 17 May 2020
Your footnote #1 misses some other common definitions for boyfriend.
Example 1: "male that submits to her in order to get sex." In which case her response of "because he is my boyfriend" is quite logical, and could be rephrased 'because he is my slave."
Example 2: "male that will potentially become her husband and create a family with." In which case, her response is also logical (though possibly subconscious too), because both are evaluating the other for fitness for said project (or should be), and knowing the full spectrum of friends of one's potential partner can tell a lot about them.
Sunday, 17 May 2020
Both of your examples are matriarchical redefinitions of the common term, and so count as simply more offensive versions of "male that introduces me to his friends".