RObotzi S03 Ep3 : Hobby

In Romanian :

Deci ?
Fara deci!
Ce dracu-n conserva ai tot behait azi noapte ca o besina vaginala ?
Foca, poca ciugubes pagaciugele agalala ? Adaga balala debeledelon.
Da, aha, bine!
Azi noapte ? Ce zi o fost azi noapte ? Marticuri ? Joineri ?
Mda. Ai baut pina te-ai retardat si-ai uitat.
Alcolule! Masin'a timpului pierdut, cine mai stie cit, si unde, am baut.
In fine. Esti pregatit sa sari ?
Daaa... peste coarda de mica-ta. Ai prizat igrasie ?
Ma tenie de tastatura! Azi sarim cu cine te-o fatat.
Adica.
Adica, sarim cu... parasuta! Hihihi. In sfirsit ajungem si la hobby-ul meu.
Aia-i azi ? Stai sa-mi consult agenda. Of... ce mizerie! Azi nu pot!
Ba poti! Ca io-am indurat destul hobby-urile tale de cacat. Experimente pe legume mutante... ceapa aia schizofrenica...
> Plingem, plingem, plingem un riu... Plingem, plingem
Si muistu' ala de castravete...
> Ah ah, ye ye, sunt castravetele. Nu-ti plac legumele... ia-ma-n gura ca-s sanatos. Da da. Castravetele.
Aia-i deja istorie ca cultura la romani.
Da ? Da' cind te antrenai sa fii ninjalau ?
> Steluta...
> Vrei sa te resetez, 'tu-ti capu' tau de prost! Te-ai ascuns ? Voltaju' ma-tii!
Asa ca hai, hai, fara discutii ca intiriziem la aeroport.
Foca! Foca io nu sar tototot transpir, mi-i rau de la vezica jubiliara, vomit in pula mea peste borasc.
Nu sari, nu sari. Hai inauntru. Pa!
Ma! Dice m-ai impins! Iti dizloc o pula peste ochi de vezi alb-negru ca ciinii! Dice m-ai impins!
Taci odata. Bucura-te de libertate! Simti ?
Hm... sa stii ca nici nu-i rau. Ah! Cum imi flutura fularu'... Ah-aaah! Mo fin plutea... AAAAAAAAA!
Ce-ai ma, tentativa de avort. Ce urli-asa ?
Mi-am amintit ce ti-am zis azi noapte!
> Foca, pot sa ciuruiesc parasutele alea ale tale ? Am nevoie de niste prezervative de nylon.
> Da, aha, bine...

In English :

So ?
No "so"s!ⁱ
What the devil in a can did you bleat about last night like a queef ?
Foca, poca ciugubes pagaciugele agalala ? Adaga balala debeledelon.
Yeah aha okay.
Last night ? What day was it last night ? Tuesneday ? Thuriday ?
Myeah. You drank until you became retarded and forgot.
O, alcohol! Lost time machine, who ever knows what, and where we have drunk.
Anyway. Are you ready to jump ?
Yeaaaa... over that string of your mother.ⁱⁱ You snorted black mold ?
You keyboard flat worm! Today we jump over she who calved you.
Which is to say ?
Which is to say, today we parachuteⁱⁱⁱ. Finally we get to my hobby!
That's today ? Let me consult my agenda. Pff... what crap. I can't today!
Yes you can! For I've endured enough your shitty hobbies. Experiments on mutant vegetables... that schizo onion...
> We cry, we cry... We cry a river... We cry, we cry
And that cucumber cocksucker...
> Ah ah ye ye, I'm the cucumber. You don't like vegetables... take me in your mouth for I'm healthy. Ya Ya. The cucumber.
That's history like Romanian culture.
Yea ? What about when you were training to be a ninja ?
> The star...
> Do you want me to reset you, fuck your stupid head. You've gone into hiding ? Your mother's voltage!
So come, come, no discussions or we'll be late to the airport.
Foca! Foca I won't jump I'm all sweaty, I'm sick from the jubiliary vesicle, Ima puke on top of puke for cock's sake!
Don't jump, don't jump. Come inside. Bye!
Ma! Whydja push me! I'ma dislocate a cock over your eyes that you'll see b&w like the dogs do! Why did you push me!
Shut it already. Enjoy the freedom. Feel it ?
Hmm... it's not even bad. Ah! How my scarf wiggles in the wind! Ah-aaah! Mo was finely floating... AAAAAAAA!
What is it, attempted abortion. What are you screaming for ?
I recalled what I said last night!
> Foca, is it ok if I cut through those parachutes of yours ? I need some nylon condoms.
> Da, aha, bine...

In conclusion : having the parachute before you jump exposes you to the well meaning activities of people moving through time on the alcohol machine.

1. This is a reference to an oft repeated admonition of higschool teachers, trying to discourage one of the most common antieulalisms of spoken Romanian. [↩]
2. Coarda means whore. Of course. [↩]
3. Also means whore in Romanian. [↩]