PSA : If you're trying to escape the gravity well, you'll meet this on your way.

Thursday, 20 November, Year 6 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu



I. If you leave the US and you leave money behind, it will necessarily be left in a bank account.

II. If the bank suspects that you've been gone for a while, they will lock the account. Because they can, because "reasons", because your security and so on.

III. The process to unlock your account involves you showing up, in person, at one of their branches.

Except that excludes any branches outside of the US. The pretext that you'll hear is that Citi, like all the other major banks, simply sell their name as a franchise, shameful as this may sound.i The actual reason is that their owner, the USG, wants you physically present on its territory.

You could alternatively send them the notarized form. Provided, of course, that it's notarized by a notary public. Need I wink at this point or will you supplant the needed winks ?

You could of course sue. But the bank has a ready made defense to any legal proceeding on this line, because it can simply forward the account to another agent of the USG, that's in charge of "abandoned property". You can of course trivially recover your property from this entity, provided you manage to locate it, and... drive there. In person, of course.

Yes, there are ways to break bones so as to fix this wholly imaginary "problem". Yet. But not everyone has the means to break bones, and it definitely isn't likely to get any easier over time. In fact, exactly the opposite is liekly.

"The keys", as the legal expression goes, "are in your own pocket". By this novel legal doctrine allowing indefinite detention for as long as you could do something the government wants you to do and in so doing "be free", there's no further need of all those obsolete, reactionary things called complicated, racist, hateful names like "habeas corpus" and other such nonsense reminding people of a time when slavery was prevalent! Did you know the Romans were terrorists, by the way, had weapons of mass destruction and kept slaves around the house ? So then! Of course "society" has finally moved past the antiquated forms of their injust, patriarchical organisation. An' the keys are in your pocket.

tl;dr : spread your money around the world and don't leave any behind, because once you've left, your property is practically Tara.ii

  1. No really, think about it, there's a repair shop that can't repair, a bakery that can't bake and a Citi that can't Citi. Exactly like in the soviet state of old tales, a city consisting of shops in name only, a whole construction of cardboard - don't lean! []
  2. "Oh, wait. I forgot to lock the front door. What are you laughing at?"
    "At you, locking the Yankees out." []
Category: SUA care este
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4 Responses

  1. Banks turned crooks everywhere. Here in the EU, bank refused to pay out from old savings account to friend, because the account was identified only by his name. That is apparently insufficient owner identification because ID number, signature specimen and whatnot is required nowadays.

  2. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Saturday, 22 November 2014

    So what did they do, keep it ?!

    Anyway, banks were the paragon of credibility back when they had competition, especially from people just keeping their own gold. Once the government decreed you must keep your dough in a bank, their incentive got kicked right out from under them, and that's the end of that.

  3. I actually thought this was going to be about Interstellar :))

  4. Mircea Popescu`s avatar
    Mircea Popescu 
    Monday, 24 November 2014

    Trilema titles, they're for trolling.

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