Free sitcom idea, with butts.

Tuesday, 08 April, Year 6 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

So the show's about this kid, right, about 14 or so, going to new school because his parents died under mysterious (but undisclosed in the show) circumstances and he's been moved to live with his aunt or somesuch.

The other kids in school are kinda probing him to see if he's cool or whatever his story is right, like kids do, and they discuss shit that's on TV and so it comes out the kid likes "Batman" except he pronounces it a little off, so some kids that also like that franchise sorta bond with him and all is well, except in the immediately next period the kid - who apparently is a decent draughtsman - spends his time ignoring the teacher and instead draws a very convincing illustration of Batman and whatnot, except 1/3 of the page on top is this wicked caption which reads Buttman. So the other kids see it and they're completely fucking weirded out and blown away, the teacher eventually confiscates it, takes it to the principal.

The principal is like... a pretty hip guy, he's boredly shuffling through dumbass red tape on his desk, happens on the drawing in question and starts laughing and flailing around the room, falls off the balcony into the parking lot right in the damn front of a moving car so he's definitely smushed.

So now the kid's being investigated by Mr. Bookmani for having maybe killed the principal, but there's this whole dispute because the secretary declares she had heard laughter inside, but some other guy is all like nono the principal sorta sounded like he's laughing when he was angry or scared and so on. But they find some sort of recording of the principal being all angry on the phone, which is kinda odd, and at this point Bookman produces a tape of sorta famous looking circus act from way in the past in which a midget gargles broken glass like shards of that shit, and it sounds exactly like the principal laughing noise. So the secretary is on the spot now, what did she hear, more like the tape or more like the midget gargle (which of course sounded exactly alike). At which point some derp in the audience sorta chortles derpily and the secretary points out it well actually... it was more like that.

So the kid is now ordered held without bail by the judge who is this very weird fucking bananas type of old judgeii over a lecture & stern advice that his money should be saved such that he can attend college instead of wasting it with bondsmen.

At which point it is revealed the kid really wants to take this Latin class in HS, but it's one of those that has an examination as a pre-requisite, which the kid now can't attend being in jail. Except there's this old woman who has all sorts of arcane clearances and experience in the penitentiary system and whatnot who'd be qualified to do a one-on-one examination sorta like a rogatory commission for highschool Latin classes of sorts. Which she accepts to do, but she also happens to be quite heard of hearing (and unwilling to admit to it), so she sorta takes down what she thinks the kid is saying, and the kid doesn't actually get to read what she writes. So it all ends up a pile of pretty much nonsensical butt references.

This ends up on the same desk, in the principal's office, where the secretary mails a whole pile of stuff to the new substitute principal.

Who looks kinda like a grasshopper really, and is shown having dinner in a nice restaurant with a very hot, Portia deRossi-style woman who proceeds to confess that she is both a lesbian and a virgin, and has never had vaginal intercourse, nor does she intend to. So the guy - - is all sad and droopy-antenna. But, she continues, she likes him very much nevertheless. Well so what are they to do? he wants to know. Does she suck cock? Meh she says. But! She really likes anal. So he does her in the pooper, and he's all euphoric and happy, and makes his way home and has a bath.

In which bath he goes about the business of reading his mail, a piece of which is the test output of the boy as written by the institutionally-approved old deaf woman. Given his euphoric state, his recent buggery, and the ample references to ass strewn throughout the test answers, the man laughs heartily, and keeps thrashing in his tub and flailing his arms around, eventually (lots of foreboding here) accidentally knocking his stereo into the bathtub with him. So he dies.

That's the first episode, aka the pilot.

For the next episode, the boy's obviously taken to jail awaiting trial, which opens the pot so to speak for a lot of soap dropping jokes and further revelry, including the fact that the weirdo warden has had installed in each bathroom, connected by a metallic chain to the metallic toilet, a book of various potty humour.

Let me know if you get picked up, I might write the first season for it.

  1. Seinfeld character []
  2. Think Jack Warden in ...And Justice for All. []
Category: Cuvinte Sfiinte
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