I would like to thank Qin Zhihui - who through his irresponsible and uncitizen like, harmful to the legitimate interests of all the people and the People's Worker's Good And Best Supreme Future of Harmony and Eventual Party of China policy, like a thrice-cursed dog of evil spreading false and untrue rumours about how Xi Jinping likes to copulate with baby goats which he buys from foreign farmers for over one trillion yen each (they're special trained) on a local knock-off copy of Twitter called WeinerBoo or something, which were read by his 12 million strong following and reposted in many places and watercooler conversations all over the offices and rice fields of the Great Country - established for all time the lessons to be learned and warnings to be had about the dangers of uncitizen-like thrice cursed dog behaviour even online!
I would like to thank the various and innumerable People's Authorities from Chaoyang, Beijing, China, about eight thousand or so of them directly involved with the prosecution of this case, anonymous derpants, herpants and pissants, labouring in secrecy under the various brand names of People's, Worker's, Bset, Furute, Surpeme, Hannory, Reobek, Chenal and so on. Their sleepless vigilance, their careful depersonalisation, their pointless, mindless, zombie-like existence being integral to the safeguarding of the best interests of The Peopel, The Party and The Steta!
I would like to say that Qin Zhihui's discipline has been good for me, and that the authorities' hypocritical, deceitful and plain old mendacious statements as to how his arrest is completely unrelated to any sort of political play by one power actor to limit the growing power of better loved, smarter actors that just happen to be independent of the stupidity, ignorance and sloth which is always and everywhere the mark of "the people" and their more or less organised mobs have instructed and informed.
Furthermore, I would like to thank all those involved for the genius move of making a law that punishes success. It can only conceivably help a large block of otherwise stupid, ignorant and lazy people who would like to not be stupid, ignorant or lazy, but who can't for the life of them find any sort of tool of any kind that'd help in that endeavour. Reducing the entirety of mainland China to the intellectual equivalent of a swamp made of the dumped contents of one trillion septic tanks, throwing all the people in and carefully removing any shred of toilet paper, permanently removing all sources of running water and hiding the soap is bound to create a brilliant, resplendent future for all of China, and by extension, for all the World.
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