And now for part 2 of our smash hit "Hey, stupid women ? We need to talk. Smart women don’t want to be with you anymore."

Lindsey Kuper is this lanky, glass wearing chick that does something or the other for Mozillaⁱ. She's pretty smart, in an academic sense of that term.

She's also going to get a PhD from Indiana. That's why the smart academically is in there : chick's a savant, she can figure out quasi-deterministic parallel programming and lattice-based data structures, but she can't figure out why sane people quit in the third year of undergrad rather than putting in the work for PhDs. Greenspun has the whole story, for the slower witted yet smart she-folkⁱⁱ.

As you'd expect of the type, she's got a blog. On livejournal. And on top of that, political investment. Obviously.

What's she doing, politically, this academically smart chick ? Is she perhaps fighting modern slavery, trying to make US born cattle slightly free-er tomorrow than they are today ? So that her country and her people may have any sort of future that doesn't look like any other failed socialist state ?ⁱⁱⁱ

No.

No she's not.

Instead, she's fighting... the war on words. That's right : words. Because words matter, that's what matters, were I to call her a cunt that'd be the whole point of interest for her fucktarded brain in this entire article. Form over substance, baby, it's the american way. So here we go :

I don't often choose the "don't use 'guys' to refer to mixed-gender groups" battle. Over the years, 'guys' has come to grate on me, but only in certain contexts, and even then, it only grates a tiny bit. It's almost never a battle worth choosing. So, when someone showed up in #rust and said [sic] "Guys, can you recommend library for getting something from iternets via http?", I almost let it go, because it just wasn't that big of a deal. But I was emboldened by my friend Adam's recent choice of the same battle on a (private) mailing list we're both on, so I decided to say something.

I was polite, I think. All I said was, "please remember that not everyone in the IRC channel is a guy." The initial response was, "Do you have any proofs?" While I was contemplating whether I'd be the only one who would find it amusing at that point if I sent him a link to the latter forty pages of this document ("Sure! Here are some of my favorites!"), "boobs or gtfo" showed up on my screen.

I said, out loud, "Holy shit!" My officemate, sitting across the room, said, "What?" But I couldn't actually make my voice work to tell him what had just happened, because by then, adrenaline was sweeping through me. It was ten seconds before I remembered how to talk.

So then, let's give her a well earned half hour break from articulated speech :

Lindsey Kuper, you butter beanin', button stitchin' carpet muncher, go lick out a clam, plunder some chunder^iv, raid a clit and bash a fanny. You're a contemptible dyke double truckin' flap queens on the side for hamburgers and smokes, you homo side of beef you. The last time your mother visited all she had to say was "whoa, these mirrors sure are polished, Muffins", while your other mother was busy muching the rugs. And etcetera.

Now that we're just among us guys, you'll never guess how the chat log that gave Lindsey pause looks like. Here it is, for posterity^v :

daise Guys, can you recommend library for getting something from iternets via http? And fast xml parser.
Ms2ger Python
* Ms2ger ducks
zalzane why didnt you dorks put the official irc channel on freenode
strcat because it's a mozilla project :P
lkuper zalzane: irc.mozilla.org is where mozilla projects tend to live.
strcat anyway, freenode is always going down and having service issues
zalzane ah
lkuper daise: please remember that not everyone in the IRC channel is a guy.
bblum lkuper: +1
Ms2ger Or likes to be called a dull, slow-witted, or socially inept person
pepper_chico oh noh… that sexism stuff punching hard again
daise lkuper: Do you have any proofs? Boobs or gtfo.

That. That's what it was. Dorks is ok. Guys is not. Don't be calling she-dorks guy-dorks, ye hear ? Because if you do, horrible things will happen. I'm not even kidding, look :

Later on, various members of the full-time Rust staff (who have ops in the channel) apologized to me, and banned the user, and added several more ops from various time zones so that it would be more likely that someone with ops would be around next time (since it had been lunchtime on the west coast and no one had been around). They also added a link to the conduct policy to the channel topic, to help reduce the chances of this sort of thing happening in the future. All that was great.

Seriously. Because the control of people saying "guys" in chat inadvertently is a good use of human resources. I'd rather scrap myspace profiles by hand, but then again what do I know, right ?

Anyway, two final quotes, to make the matter useful for they interested in anything other than, you know, laughing at the dumb lezzie :

I've been contributing to Rust for a long time. #rust is my community, and it's been my community since there were only twenty-odd people in it, instead of the three hundred-some we usually have today.

And I would have left it at that, because, again, it wasn't that big of a deal, and all I really aim to accomplish here is encourage people to think about it a little harder, maybe choose a different word next time. But that's not what happened. What happened was that when I made a polite request, a flood of hate came rushing out at me. And now it's hard for me to continue to pretend or assume that that hate doesn't boil under the surface of our community.

Chick actually imagines this is some sort of issue, that deserves some sort of thought, and any sort of attention whatsoever. Because, again, that's the very definition of the savant, vulgo dork : an inability to distinguish the important from the unimportant.

Meanwhile what happened at actual reality camp was that an old and powerful community member used that power to wipe some newbie that he^vi didn't like. That's all. There's nothing wrong with it, either : it's exactly how it should work.

I don't begrudge Lindsey Kuper his power, in his own community, backed by his own friends. But the point remains that for as long and inasmuch as lezzie's wielding power, she's a he. That happens to be the definition of male, and that happens to be what he stands for. Much like getting a white education is the ticket for success, for all children, be they born white or black out of white or black parents^vii, being a man is - ipso definitio - the only way to power, whether for cuntbearers or cockwearers or any weirdos.

So, welcome to the guy club, Lindsey. Enjoy your stay.

PS. Here's part one, since you ask.

1. In case you've already forgotten, Mozilla used to be this attempt to make an open source browser, which meanwhile failed [↩]
2. Is "she-folk" okay ? How about "herpeople" ? It has herp in it, so it does convey. [↩]
3. Here's some excellent illustrations of how a failed socialist state looks : Jorge Silva's The Tower of David. [↩]
4. Da fuck does all this shit mean, beats me. [↩]
5. I took out the coupla lines where people were doing actual work, because who gives a shit about that. [↩]
6. Yes yes, in this case it was a she. It makes exactly zero difference : we're discussing power, so we'll be discussing it with he's. Because that's how power goes. [↩]
7. Yes, this occasionally happens, the all white and blue eyed babe of a black couple, and vice versa. Genetics is a wonderful thing, "race" as commonly misconstrued is at best a naive simplification. [↩]