Wallmart or the Mall ? A debate.

Friday, 29 November, Year 5 d.Tr. | Author: Mircea Popescu

J. R. R. Tolkien

"First things first, I am a Genderfluid, meaning I consider myself both male and female, but I am a biological woman. I am in tune with myself and I am a Black Beta Wolf."

H. P. Lovecraft Oh Jesus. Lock this person in a Walmart.

J. R. R. Tolkien

pankkake Black Beta Wolf?
mircea_popescu I dare not ask. Tho a "Why not a dragon ?" seems appropriate.

H. P. Lovecraft Isn't it obvious?

J. R. R. Tolkien No ?!
H. P. Lovecraft Wolves run in packs, dragons are solitary. She's attempting to create a social niche for herself by adopting some made-up role within a made-up group.

J. R. R. Tolkien Oh oh I see. No but wait! Who says dragons are solitary ?
H. P. Lovecraft I dunno, the people who derp around with dragon stuff.

J. R. R. Tolkien But you see...
H. P. Lovecraft Different levels!

J. R. R. Tolkien Lol.
H. P. Lovecraft I dun want to differentiate between the levels of stupidity, just lock in Walmart like I said in the first place!

J. R. R. Tolkien I think that's already done, except Mall.
H. P. Lovecraft Malls have too many exits.

J. R. R. Tolkien Which is why they can never be found. Walmart makes escape easy.
H. P. Lovecraft No, because before you can get out they've rolled back the price on something. It never stops, if you leave you miss out. Plus there are pretzels before the exit.i It's a perfect trap.

J. R. R. Tolkien You think anyone cares anymore ? This is not the 80s.
H. P. Lovecraft If they don't care, then why do they go in in the first place.

J. R. R. Tolkien Fuck you, they're a black beta bragowolfn. They can go if they want to. They can do anything. That anything will be happening at Walmart. Oops I mean Mall.
H. P. Lovecraft Lol. Yeah well I'm a level 12 turkey tetrazzini. Casserole, motherfucker!

Should the flow of cheap consumer goods come to an end at any point in the future, the "civilised" world will suddenly find itself awash in black beta wolves and dragons. This is just a friendly warning - we're having enough trouble keeping at bay the idiots who are also poor, by all accounts a thin sliver of the total population of idiots in the US & Western Europe. Should the idiots who are currently being manipulated into thinking they're rich be unleashed upon the world it'll probably mean the end of civilisation.

Or if not quite the end of civilisation, then at the very least some very funny medievalii re-enactment.

  1. Which are making them thirsty. []
  2. Medieval in the sense of "the way people who never read a whole book imagine things were five to ten centuries ago", not in the sense of "the way things were five to ten centuries ago". []
Category: Zsilnic
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